Long saaaad siiigggghhhhh

Blessedbeauty87 · Jan 25, 2010 9:16AM

I just have to talk to someone. I feel completely sad and disappointed today. I am almost hopeless at this point. This month makes 9 months since my miscarriage/d&c and I am still not pregnant. Hubby and I even tried SMEP last month and the month before with no luck. We began it this month but only got to cd 10 and hubby started having pain in his side and groin area. Turns out he has the start of a hernia and dr has put him on meds and said absolutely no sex for atleast 10 days. We had just went and bought a months worth of ov tests on my cd 8, which now have to be thrown away bc they are only good for 30 days after being opened. I actually got what looked like a positive ov test the 2nd day I used it, and we did get to bd that night, but not the next day when I should have actually ovulated. So I feel like chances are slim to none that there would have been any sperm left from the night before. I also had no ov symptoms, and no noticeable cm either. (sorry tmi). I am trying to hold on to that little piece of hope that it may have worked. It wouldn't even be such a big deal normally but this was our last chance at trying before I have my surgery next month, and I was just really praying that I'd be pregnant so that I wouldn't have to go through with the surgery. I am lost at this point...,

littlemonkey10 · Jan 20, 2010 5:25AM

Just wanted to say hi, and sorry for everything your going through, obviously i dont dont your full circumstances, but just wanted to offer some reasurrance. I have an ectopic in oct 08, i have just got another BFP this month so 15 months later. The waiting was awful and we thought it was never going to happen again, we had actually been referred for ivf.

I hope that your tx goes well and that you wont be waiting too much longer.

Gem x

laujai · Jan 20, 2010 6:18AM

Hi Hun

Havent seen you for a while.

Sorry your feeling so fed up with it all.

Understand how frustrated you feel hun, were going onto month 16 with 4 mc & wondering wether it will ever happen!!

Try & keep some PMA cause if you managed to bd the day before ov then chances are there were some good little swimmers waiting for your egg, I know someone who only managed to bd the day before ov much to her surprise she got a BFP & is due to give birth nxt month so it can happen sweetie.

You know were we all are should you need a chat or to vent your feelings of frustration. xxx

PrincessStar · Jan 20, 2010 7:51AM

HI hun

Im realy sorry you are feeling so down at the moment but i realy do understand where your coming from.

My advice sweetie is relax & dont panic! I know this is very much eaiser said thatn done but on the bright side look at the facts.

1, For couples with no fertility issues it can take up to 12 months to concieve.

2, You have concieved before.
( After 1st MC it took me 14months before BFP.)

3, Sperm can live for a far old time in there!
( I BDd 3 days before OV & got BFP that month).

So please dont dispair!
Sadly for me it wasnt meant to be but although there have been times ive realy felt totally out of hope, i havnt & wont give up my dream EVER!

You WILL get there hun, just pease keep believeing. XXXXXXXXXXX

Blessedbeauty87 · Jan 20, 2010 12:35PM

Thank you all for the sweet words. I actually feel a little selfish because I know that there are less fortunate couples than me here, it's still just so frustrating.

Gem78- a huge congratulations to you for your BFP! I hope that you have a wonderful 9 months, and enjoy every second of it

. Did you try for the full 15 months or did you take breaks? That would be so hard to go that long without a bfp. For a lil background, I have an almost 3 yer old son, born the day before my 20th bday. Hubby and I wanted another one soon after my son but it took 2 years, and just whn we decided to wait until September of 09' to try again, we got a surprise BFP in April 09' which ended in mc. I had a d&c and a normal cycle exactly 4 weeks later. Then after the first normal one, I skipped a month and bled for 3 months straight. I have kind of had somewhat normal cycles ever since, but they are sometimes off by a few days or a week. So I guess now Im in the waiting game again. I pray that this month is our month

Laujai-hello again. I had to take a break for a while as I was becoming obsessed with this site lol. I would stay on it sometimes until 2 or 3 in the morning, it just gives me so much hope when I read about other ladies on here who have been through what Im going through and have gotten their great news. I am so sorry to hear about your mcs, I would be devistated to go through that many losses, but it's inspiring to me that you are such a strong woman and have continued to try. I guess I shouldn't give up so easily. I sure hope that I will be as blessed as your friend to have conceived with only a small chance this month. Thank you.

PrincessStar-I am sorry for your loss. Each of you have been trying to conceive longer than me so far so I guess I should be thankful that it's only been 9 months. I will try my hardest to keep my head up and not get down so quickly. I am just dreading my laparascopy surgery next month, and if I'm not pregnant I will have to go through with it, as I've just had so much pain lately. I will definitely let you all know if our 1 time worked this month. And good luck laujai and princess with your bfps, baby dust for you both!

laujai · Jan 20, 2010 1:15PM

Dont feel bad hun, it's understandable to have bad days, we all do at times that's why it's good to have a chat & get everything off your chest.

I've had 2 laps previously if your feeling nervous feel free to ask any questions hun. It might be a good thing sometimes these sort of ops can help with conception once your healed.

Good Luck with it all hun & chat to us anytime you need to xxx

Socksxx · Jan 20, 2010 2:55PM

Hey you are not alone sweetie. I mc'd July 08 and not a sniff of a bfp ever since xx Down days are inevitable but you know what they say, the best things come to those who wait xxx hope you are feeling more positive soon xx

Blessedbeauty87 · Jan 21, 2010 1:29AM

Thank you laujai. It definitely helps to talk about it. I am a little worried about the surgery. I guess it's just because I've had previous surgeries on my stomach, my c section and my d&c ( well d&c isn't really my stomach but it involves the same area being looked at). I read that it's more risky if you've had previous surgeries. How long did you have to stay at the hospital? And how did you feel afterwards? I just get nervous about the after effects bc I read that it's a little hard to breathe due to the gases that they use. I guess I'm just a worrier. Any advice will be great

Hello Socks. Nice to see you're back! How was your trip? I hope it was a nice getaway. I have a feeling that I may be in this for the long haul as well, although I can't imagine another year or longer of infertility. I have been feeling so low lately but I have to be strong as not to upset my son. My hubby and I went to the store tonight and our son was with us. I was telling my hubby as we passed the baby clothes that I want another baby. My son said I like babies too mommy, and I said you do? And he said of course! Everybody likes babies! It really made my day bc he is only 2 but he's so smart that he knows just what to say to cheer me up. I know I am so blessed to have him, and I feel sort of bad for even wanting another child when there are so many others who do not yet have 1 child, but I just miss being pregnant so bad. And I feel like it's wrong to let my son grow up without a sibling that he can be close to. It breaks my heart seeing him sit and play by himself. He actually told my Brice the other day that if she didn't want to play with him he'd just go play by himself, but he said it so sadly. I am not ready to give up, but I am feeling a little let down. I sure hope that 2010 will being us all the blessings that we have waited so long for. $:\$ )

Socksxx · Jan 21, 2010 2:07PM

Trip was lovely thank you xx I know what you mean about not being able to imagine another year of infertility. You are lucky to have a lo already but that doesn't mean you are any less entitled to want another than those of us who don't have any children. How long did it take to conceive your son? My sister is in a similar position to you, she is desperate to have another child her daughter is just over a year now but she has a heart condition and has been told another pregnancy could kill her so she is waiting for surgery but you know what the nhs are like. I feel very sorry for her, to cap it off because of the heart problem she is not allowed to take contraceptives either! She is not impressed by the back to rubber approach!

I am sure your son will have a baby to play with really soon! What surgery are you having if you don't mind me asking?

Blessedbeauty87 · Jan 22, 2010 11:35PM

Great to hear you had a good time

. It took us almost 3 years to conceive our son. We actually tried ovulation tests after 2 years, and used them for a couple months. Then we quit using those because it never helped us, and 3 months after we stopped using them I got pregnant. Then it took us another 2 years to get pregnant with the one we lost. It's so depressing bc my dr has never found a reason yet for our fertility problem. I am only 22 so of course age isn't yet an issue. The surgery Im having is laparascopy to check for endometriosis. My dr figures that is the only thing it can be, that or PCOS. I've asked him numerous times to check me for PCOS but he never has. The last ultrasound I had about a month n half ago the tech said she thought my ovary "may" look polycystic, but she wasn't positive. I have an appt with my ob next week so I am going to have him check again. I think it would be so nice if I could get pregnant before my surgery, but at the same time I really do need to be checked for endo bc of the constant pain I've had since my d&c.

Blessedbeauty87 · Jan 22, 2010 11:41PM

Sorry I didn't mean to end my post there lol. It's terrible what your sister is going through. I couldn't imagine being in such a position. I would definitely not want to go back to using condoms either if I were her, gosh those make for a very uncomfortable bd. Lol. I wish her the best as well, hopefully with her dr's help they can figure something out.

Socksxx · Jan 23, 2010 4:25PM

Gosh you really have been through it. Really hope that if you don't get your bfo before surgery that the surgery goes well and isn't too painful xx your son must be such a precious gift to you after everythig you have been through xx

laujai · Jan 25, 2010 9:16AM

Hello hun

Sorry I havent replied sooner. The laps wernt to bad really obviously a bit tender after as I had some work done so was brusied. I was able to go home the same day with both & just took it easy, no lifting & taking things slowly as & when I felt ready.
If you have suspected endo will give you a good clean out but I also understand your worrys about more surgery.

Before I had the 1st lap they were concerned that I would have trouble conceiving but as it was so long ago I wasnt ready to try by the time I had the 2nd one they said that they had cleaned me out as good as they could & tried to do the best they could with my tube & they couldnt see any reason for me having troubles conceiving & since then have had the 4 pg!!
I have heard of some women getting shoulder or neck pain due to the gas they use to inflate your abdomen but I cant remember having this.

They also only make 2 or 3 very tiny incisions near your belly button & near your bikini line I also have a 3rd on the left side as I had a problem with my left tube that they needed to get too.

Speak to your gynae consultant about your concerns with previous surgery they should be able to discuss all your concerns. I know what you mean by not wanting more surgery as I have also had 2 laps now & 2 erpc's & they have discussed the possibility of another lap depending on what the hysteroscopy shows when I & if I have that done & I will certainly be discussing wether these are def needed as dont want to end up with a uterus full of scar tissue!!

Good Luck hun & let us know how your doing xxx

Long saaaad siiigggghhhhh

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