Sorry self pitying rant!!!

-moonbean- · Feb 24, 2009 7:38PM

I'm sorry but if I don't let it out some where I think I am going to explode.

Obv from time it is late I am drunk and in tears as I write. I went out for a nice night and another two of my friends announced they are pg this is the 3rd pg this year (never mind the 10+ last year, no exaggeration at all believe me)

I just cant take it any more one of the girls was puffing her brains away and its not fair I wouldn't do that to my baby, I know some of you are going through some far worse things at the monute so I am sorry as this prob seems so trivial compared to what a lot of you are going through (prob the drink in me too)

Thought I would go out and enjoy myself, not supposed to ov til wed so thought stuff it I'll let me hair down (was out last week (on af any way) for first time in weeks and thought may as well this week as my very close friend got engaged.

I know it sounds daft but I am a decent sort, dont break the law am really trustworthy good to my family and friends have worked hard at my career adn have never, ever had any thing handed to me on a plate, why is this so hard for me all I want is a baby is that too much to ask.

Sorry again I'll prob read this in the morning and cringe!!!! LOL

Just havign a bad day you know how it is xxx love you all by the way dont know what I would do with out you mean it from the bottom of my heart xx

hjanea · Feb 22, 2009 2:30AM

Sending you a big hug-and hoping that the hangovers not too bad!!H.xxx

juliazhumphries · Feb 22, 2009 4:25AM

Moon bean
Not cringworthy at all just an expression of frustration and disbelief that you don't have what you truely deserve.
I am ok with friends but I really really struggle with people and the cases of horrific abuse when I know I won't be brilliant but I would imagine their would be more making rice crispie cakes and bedtime stories than beating with an iron bar

What you feel is natural true and understandable . Am sorry that you felt so fed up on a well deserved night out
take care

MrsExx · Feb 22, 2009 4:30AM

we all feel like this from time to time babe, dont think anyone would disagree.

one thing i advise when feeling low is try to turn it into a positive energy, like think of what you can do for yourself in the meantime whilst you wait for your turn, such as get finances sorted and getting bedrooms painted etc etc, i know it is extremely hard i appreciate that but giving yourself a purpose to be doingi t makesi t so much easier than just waiting x x plus would take some of the stress away from focusing on TTC therefore bearinmg a better chance to conceive xx

hope that all makes sense
plus it is ok to cry every once in a while its a healthy clear out xx

-moonbean- · Feb 22, 2009 8:09AM

aaaaaaahhhh ddrink is bad so sorry girls!!!! I am dying today!!!!! Think I just needed a blow out feel a bit silly really now...note to self, voldka, pregnant women and myself are not a good cocktail.

Thanks very much you guys and sorry I feel wick now!!!!!!!!

MrsBambino · Feb 22, 2009 11:20AM

awwww moonbean, hope you feel better soon (from both the hangover and feeling a bit low). I know exactly how you feel though and like you I've had a few close friends plus a sibbling all announce pregnancies this year - and we're only in February!! Like you, I'm one of lifes 'good gals' (I think!!), work hard, love my family and friends and think I'd be a really good mummy - just wish our time would come quicker. It's so frustrating. Your post made me smile though as I haven't heard the word 'wick' in that context in ages - def a 'norn iron' word, tee hee. (I used to live there). xxx

loumadcow · Feb 22, 2009 11:53AM

I just wanted to say that I understand and its ok to feel like that. I think we all have those days. I went through a week recently where I found out everyday that someone else I knew was pg, including one of my 14 year old students at school. All my close friends said was "It will happen just when the times right!" That awful bloody phrase! Thank goodness for being able to come on here and sound off! Bless ya Moonbean. I also enjoyed your use of "wick" as my hubbie is "Norn Irsh" and it made me smile and think of him!

Stay strong! Our chances of success are high!

-moonbean- · Feb 22, 2009 6:00PM

ooohhh all these irish connections!!! LOL we have the daftest sayings over here!! mrs Bambino if you dont mind me asking where did you live?

Same for your hubby loumadcow were was he from

(Oh by the way purely of interest not so I can work out religious areas as a lot of people think we are like that over here, I'm one and my husband is the other ...love accross the divide LOL........., just curious!!!)

loumadcow · Feb 22, 2009 7:01PM

My husband is from Waringstown (near Lurgan). We're hoping to move back soon, to the North coast as I can't bear to be away from the sea! Plus I want to do my masters in conflict resolution at Magee. My brother in law is in a relationship that crosses the divide ... quite scandalous in the family. Crazy really!

-moonbean- · Feb 23, 2009 2:23PM

My other halfs mum and dad own a house in lurgan (rent it out) not too far at all away from me I'm in county antrim so close enough. SOme poeple can be a bit nuts over here that way but luckily are families are OK with us

Isn't Magee part of UU I studied at Jordanstown. Good luck with your masters you brainy gal and good luck with the bd!!!/ttc!!! HOw long have you been trying if you dont mind me asking?

loumadcow · Feb 23, 2009 6:47PM

We have no officially been trying 13 months. Went to the doctors today to start the whole process of investigations etc. Was not the helpful experience I imagined. I was harangued for being overweight was was told to expect no help until my BMI is under 29 -its currently in the high 30s

. I am just a bit pooed out really as have spent the evening at a baby shower for 2 of my friends playing guess the girth and what baby food is this etc. All I needed on top of a six lesson day back at school with a stinking cold and a less than helpful appt with doctor! The things is I had an ovary removed 18 months ago, and have been told my hormones levels suggest PCOS,its not like they don't know where to start the investigations!

So I just have to do my best to slim and hang on in there. Having quite a shitty day tho, if I am honest and DH is on nights so now I am home, alone with the dog and my tears of frustration! You are not the only one who has bad days and finds it difficult to cope! Only upside is that CBFM said today was a peak fertility day so maybe I am ovulating after all! Now the dreaded 2ww and the disappointment all over again when it hasn't worked.

Sorry I will go to bed now! I am not helping anyone by losing all my PMA and being a stresshead!

-moonbean- · Feb 24, 2009 9:51AM

aw chick you poor thing what a terrible day

MY CBFM peaked yes and today so we cancheck our notes with each other xxx You poor thing what an awful day you have had I really feel for you (you can have some pma from me xx)

If its any help my mum and my best friend go to weightwatchers and they have found it really helpful, my mum has lost 3 stone! It has taken her, i think, under a year?

Drs are so frustrating I hate the way they make you feel so small at times sometimes they need to remember the query is common to them but not to the individual - just like when your teaching eh!!! Tailor to the individual needs!!!

Hope you are feeling better soon xxxxxx mmmmmmmmmmmwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaahhhhh

loumadcow · Feb 24, 2009 7:38PM

Thanks for the PMA and the rather lrage Mwah! Am feeling more positive today ... Managed a long teaching day with parents eve tagged on the end! Spent tonight watching Holby and Mistresses!

Did loose 4 stone with WW about 4 years ago but have put it all back on! Just hate feeling out of control! I was discussing with my mum last night about going back ... I will but can't afford it this month! But I have been good ... Hurruh! Now I have to make it 2 good days in a row! Lets hope my year 11s are a little more helpful and focussed than they were today else I will be in the canteen buying cake before 11am otherwise!

Yes we will have to compare notes. I am going for my day 21 bloods on weds next week and due the following thursday ... I think! Thanks again for the PMA! Take care and keep smiling! Mwah Back!
xx

Sorry self pitying rant!!!

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