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Doctors say we are fine so we are on our own
Second set of bloods came back consistent with ovulation which is good news but they say there is nothing wrong so that is it. Then came those words we all love to hear in the LTTTC world "I am sure if you just relax it will happen". Feel a bit frustrated to be honest. I know I should be pleased and grateful etc, bloods were all fine, I am regular as clockwork but in that case why am I in here. I think it must be the stress of my job but what am I meant to do I can't quit, we can't afford it. Oh and CD2 as well boooooo!
Absolutely sick of it all xxx
Absolutely sick of it all xxx
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Replies
Im glad that your tests have come back clear, but completley understand how you feel about just being left to get on with things & how scary that must feel, especially with the whole relax & dont worry attitude of the cons!!
Dont really know what to suggest but like WWAF says is there no other tests they can perform?
Boo at AF turning up too! xxx
Not what you want to hear, but I'm sure it's because we fully relaxed and weren't stressed last month that we got our bfp. Both of us had been working from home and we took a last min holiday to coincide with ovulation. If you're very regular, can you book a week's holiday around ovulation maybe in 2 months time? (or some time off) Just a thought and we did it once before and it didn't work but you never know. Are you able to go part time or anything in your job? Maybe if you can't quit that you could pay for a cleaner or something so your home life is a bit less hectic? I know it's so easier said than done so feel free to swear at me!
lx
PS We'd just seen the specialist again and had been virtually told the same thing as you - he was surprised my OH had been referred as he was slightly low but nothing too much to worry about alledgedly
While it's wonderful that there is nothing wrong with you, I can see how frustrated you must feel.
I have no ideas what to suggest as my experience has been so different to yours but I was wondering if you had considered any alternative fertility aids? Like acupuncture or reflexology or something? At the very least they both help with the stress.
You've probably exhausted every option and thought about every possibility by now I'm sure! I hope you just get your BFP soon so this awful waiting can end
xxx
Have you tried reading Emma Cannon? I really like her (not least because she recommends nice food to eat) - encouraging, warm, comforting and v.good for your PMA.
xxx
Well done on the good news, but completely understand how annoyingly frustrating it is - it's sometimes almost better to be told, there IS a problem, and now we can do something about it. Instead, you have that awful unexplained situation - and it's out of your control that you're not getting your BFP. So I do think it's normal to feel frustrated. The worst thing you can hear is 'relax and it'll happen'. A bit drippy of your Dr I think! Anyway, stay positive, keep chilling out and don't stop trying the usual natural route. Meanwhile, throw yourselves into all the alternative therapies, supplements, brazil nuts etc that you can - and then try and forget about it all for two months. It may be a bit of a slow process but I do hope you get your BFP. Fingers crossed for you hon. xxx
Are there any other tests they can offer you? Have you had a pelvic ultrasound and hsg yet? It seems too soon to just say that there is nothing wrong - there may not be, but at least they should exhaust all other options first. Have you had these tests done with your GP or have you been referred yet? If it's just your GP I would suggest you go right back there, maybe see a different doctor, and ask to be referred for further tests. It just seems too soon to write you off (sorry, I don't mean it like that, but you understand what I mean).
I know work can be horribly stressful. I am trapped in a stressful job myself but I can't quit, can't change my hours, can't find another job. I need this job, and my bosses know it. It's hard to alleviate the stress but I try to do the things I love outside of work: gym, relaxing in the bath, reading a good book, having the odd massage. All the usual things.
Just another thought, I remember you saying you go to gym a lot. Do you ever wonder if you might be overdoing it? I don't want to completely spoil all the fun things in your life, but as a gym fanatic myself I sometimes wonder if I should take it a bit easier during the 2ww. I've started to cut down on the cardio work after ov and focus on toning instead, just in case. Just a thought anyway (not that it's worked for me so far).
I wish I could offer some more practical advice, but you know you are not alone in this. It's a horrible waiting game, don't give up hope lovely x
I almost suggest being completely and utterly lazy for a month or so, have the occasional drink etc, forget about having a tidy house and so on. There's no way you'd forget about it all but maybe a bit of a rest would help if you've tried everything else.
PS Just realised my initial post didn't help at all really - all I can go on is what worked for me and completely and utterly understand your frustration, anger and so on so sorry for my silly reply
I hope this doesn't sound overly negative but my cons did say to me that 'unexplained' plus not conceiving often means the reason has not been discovered. I hope this is not the case for you honey (and given that you HAVE conceived this may not be the case), but I too would push for more detailed tests if I were in your position.
God, hope that doesn't sound awful.......
Really hoping so much to hear a BFP post soon sweetie xxx
On the one hand it's great that they haven't found a problem -and on the other that is probably the most frustrating news for you. I don't really have anything to add on what's been said already - just sending you a big hug in case that helps! All the best and i hope you get some good news soon,
xxx
Big hugs babe - I'm sorry I can't offer you anything other than hugs and support x
Hubby and I are going through the exact same thing! Had all the tests done you can think of and nothing, all the Doctor says is relax and just keep trying... I QUIT MY JOB FOR GOD SAKE HOW MUCH MORE RELAXED CAN I BE (sorry just had to get that out lol)
Back to the subject, my doctor was really lovely so I wouldn't want to be nasty about her. She talked me through the results and I asked what was next and she said either we could keep trying or she could give us a referral to a fertility clinic with a view to us starting very expensive infertility treatment or further investigation, since we have already told her we don't want ivf etc she said as she could find nothing wrong on the preliminary tests we should relax and keep trying. I think I had kind of just got it into my head she would hand out clomid and send me on my way and everything would be fixed. As bad as it sounds I think I wanted there to be something wrong because it would give me a reason and then instead of pretending to people we are not ready or don't want them I would just be able to say we would love kids but can't have them. I think I thought it would give me closure, truth is I am ready to give up. We have already decided if it doesn't happen this month we are taking at least one month off to enjoy ourselves again.
Of course the other thing is that we have conceived before so we already had a fight for the tests in the first place because in their eyes we were obviously fertile.
Angel fish my best friend who I work out with is a mum to 2 and a fitness instructor, she knows how much I want this and she would not have me do anything that would put that at risk. I do work out alot yes but if you are only doing things you have always done then it will not cause you a problem. I don't work out for long periods of time either, max 45 minutes in the gym a day and only abut 20 minutes of that is intensive exercise so I am comfortable with that. I don't do major abs work outs either.
Mrsj36, I can't change my hours, I am the only full timer there and currently the most qualified, aside from my boss, we are on skeleton staff anyway because we were hit quite badly by the recession the company could not function on anything less. We could probably afford it but only just and then we would not be able to save which we have to do for a baby to work, the only good thing about it taking so long is that it is meaning we will be in a much better financial position if we ever do get a baby!
Mrs DAO I have thought about reflexology, might look into it also thinking of taking up Yoga or something to help with the relaxation and de-stressing.
EM havent read Emma Cannon will look her up, not that I need any encouraging to eat
Oh for a magic wand ...
I understand how frustrating it must be but it really is good news that nothing is wrong. Its just a matter of waiting for the right egg/ sperm combo and IT WILL HAPPEN!
I think advice is so personal, and who knows what made things happen, and what was coincidence or luck. i gave up my job and fell within 6 months, i think it helped but who know's i was on clomid and it might have worked anyway.. also i stopped gyming it and put on about 1 stone before i fell, but i dont think anybody anywhere would recommend gaining weight, unless you have got super super skinny. I never used to gym it in the 2 ww because i started to think it wouldnt implant! (stupid i know!) Also the month i fell was the first time in a year that i had a drink.. infact i had a very boozy christmas and felt much better for it. After one very upseting appointment, my consultant told me to go home and have a few glasses on wine!
The other very sensible thing he said was, try for as long as you need to, but dont feel like you need to do this to prove anything to anybody. There are treatments that can help and your not alone. Just him saying that made me feel so much better. I know you dont want to do IVF, but would you ever consider IUI? it might just help with getting everything in the right place at the right time. Also what about something simple like preseed? I used it everytime we bd the month it worked for me, and remember hubbies swimmers were fine and i was def ov for 5 months before i fell... who knows what was different?
Anyway, nice to see you on here, i havent spoke to you in ages..
Hugs
Gem xxx
It has certainly made me feel a bit more optimistic
although its good news that there doesnt appear to be anything wrong it must be more frustrating that there isnt an obvious solution to help sort things out.
Goodluck and lots of babydust for you! xx