Really struggling right now
I feel so alone and lost right now. I am really fed up with this baby making thing and feel like giving up and just accepting i will never be a mum!
Does anyone else go through these horrible waves of emotions when one day you are okay, the next you are sad, the next verging on suicidle then the next you are excited. I just don't know where i am day to day and im sick of it.
My best friend is expecting and all i get from her is baby talk - which is fine, until she accuses me of not caring about her pregnancy and i don't show interest..... What the hell does she expect me do??? Jump from the ceiling everytime she speaks about it. I do show interest because i am genuinely happy for her, but some days i just want to block out the whole world and forget about babies. It's taking over my life again! PLUS she know's my situation and i feel she should be more sensitive towards me and tell her other friends about how big her bump is or how she feel's. What the hell do i know.... THEN i feel guilty and think, god maybe i am not a good friend to her, but i don't feel like i can be 'that' freind right now when my heart is breaking into a million peices and i all i feel towards myself is anger and i feel like a failure!!!
I need PMA and you girls are the only life line i have right now as i can't talk to anyone about how i feel, not even my husband as he's so laid back and tell's me over and over, it'll happen one day!!!!!
Sorry for the rant girls. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Does anyone else go through these horrible waves of emotions when one day you are okay, the next you are sad, the next verging on suicidle then the next you are excited. I just don't know where i am day to day and im sick of it.
My best friend is expecting and all i get from her is baby talk - which is fine, until she accuses me of not caring about her pregnancy and i don't show interest..... What the hell does she expect me do??? Jump from the ceiling everytime she speaks about it. I do show interest because i am genuinely happy for her, but some days i just want to block out the whole world and forget about babies. It's taking over my life again! PLUS she know's my situation and i feel she should be more sensitive towards me and tell her other friends about how big her bump is or how she feel's. What the hell do i know.... THEN i feel guilty and think, god maybe i am not a good friend to her, but i don't feel like i can be 'that' freind right now when my heart is breaking into a million peices and i all i feel towards myself is anger and i feel like a failure!!!
I need PMA and you girls are the only life line i have right now as i can't talk to anyone about how i feel, not even my husband as he's so laid back and tell's me over and over, it'll happen one day!!!!!
Sorry for the rant girls. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Replies
I think the whole experience is just a cycle of excitement, anticipation and then dissapointment, but even at the bottom, you have to remember that there is still hope and many miracle BFP's out there! (keeps me going) Just got to keep going somehow, easier said than done, but your PMA will return and things will look brighter again soon x
Thanks so much for your support!!!! Don't know what i'd do without you!!!
xxxx
Hi Tinybabydancer Thanks for your kind reply!
I shouldn't be so insensitive towards her exciting news, i kinda feel terrible for it, but i honestly can't feeling so envious & sensitive everytime she speaks about what's happening! But on the other hand, she tried desperately for 1 year to conceive, so she should know how it feel's, and i remember how upset she was when her other friend fell pregnant!!!
Never mind, we WILL get there one day!!! I PRAY xxxxxx