🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
I've got PMA
Hi ladies,
Is not very often that it happens, but im feeling werdily optimistic this month. I had my appointment last week and talked about IUI and IVF, but bizzarely i still feel im in with a chance this month. Im only day 18 but am happy because hubby managed it everytime this month (if youve read previous posts you'll know we have had loads of prob's) anyway not sure what happened but we managed to stay chilled and happy with each other, the pressure was off and we made sure we did lots of nice things and somedays had sex and sometimes not.. it worked... we snuggled up and cuddled in the evenings but then when we got to bed we just had a snuggle, by the morning he was initiating it with me! we've had sex every other day since tuesday, and i think according to my charts im ov today/ tomorrow.. so thats good right?
Also the change in my job has made me super chilled (which was the plan) and im just generally feeling happier with life. So all in all, there is no reason why i couldnt fall pregnant this month.
Please keep your fingers crossed, and baby dust gratefully received. Lets see what the next 2 weeks brings!
Good luck to those who are also in the dreaded 2ww.
Gem x
Is not very often that it happens, but im feeling werdily optimistic this month. I had my appointment last week and talked about IUI and IVF, but bizzarely i still feel im in with a chance this month. Im only day 18 but am happy because hubby managed it everytime this month (if youve read previous posts you'll know we have had loads of prob's) anyway not sure what happened but we managed to stay chilled and happy with each other, the pressure was off and we made sure we did lots of nice things and somedays had sex and sometimes not.. it worked... we snuggled up and cuddled in the evenings but then when we got to bed we just had a snuggle, by the morning he was initiating it with me! we've had sex every other day since tuesday, and i think according to my charts im ov today/ tomorrow.. so thats good right?
Also the change in my job has made me super chilled (which was the plan) and im just generally feeling happier with life. So all in all, there is no reason why i couldnt fall pregnant this month.
Please keep your fingers crossed, and baby dust gratefully received. Lets see what the next 2 weeks brings!
Good luck to those who are also in the dreaded 2ww.
Gem x
0
Replies
xxxxx
xxxxx
xxxxx
Im sending you a truck load of baby dust to help things along
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Best of luck and I hope the 2ww doesn't drag too much for you. I'm on CD10 and this month already feels like it's lasting forever!!
Can't wait to hear the good news!
S xx
That's great news, glad you and DH seem to be back on track. My DH instigated sex last night, after a bad month of no go's so even though it's Day 20, I'm pleased it worked last night and hope to slowly rebuild his confidence xxx
Keep that PMA up at all times for the rest of this cycle and bring on that much wanted November BFP!!!!!!!
Here.... catch this......... truckload of baby dust on its way to you hon 8\)
xx
PMA took a dent over the past 2 days as hubbie couldnt perform again! Grrrrhh. As I said, we managed really well over weekend, but I thought i ov sunday, but then yesterday I was still getting major ov pains which stopped by the afternoon. I still trying to stay chilled as I know it prob best to BD the day or two before ov, so I know in the scheme of things im still in with a chance..
Roll on the next two weeks!
Gem xxx
wish i had your pma this month!
Hope you can stick with it!
Good luck!
xxxx
I dont know whats going on, today i have suddenly got so much ewcm.. I hardly get any and today its there every time i wipe, so what's that then Ov today? or in the next few days. I am pretty certain now that i have messed things up again as we didnt bd today or yesterday and from my charts over the past 4 months , i seem to have missed ov by 2 days and ended up with bpn! Its really annoying cos i try and use ov calenders, but my body does something different every month.
Also cross with hubbie because when he couldnt perfom yesterday / this morning he casually and breezily said, oh well, at least me have the ivf! like the expense, emotional upheaval and impact on my health doesnt matter. (plus its not a bloody guarentee!) It makes it worse cos im the main bread winner and a long time before i met hubbie i had put a bit of savings away for a rainy day. (not much, but a bit, i was hoping it would one day allow me some extra months off maternity. Anyway when I was worried about the cost of ivf etc, he said, well, thats what your savings are for! (Obviously i would use them because i want a baby) but it pisses me off that the problem is him not being able to get it up, and he thinks its fine for me to go to hell and back oh and pay for the privalage!
Sorry for the rant, im just fed up of this whole situation. Wish id never posted about my PMA now, i feel stupid!
I got my HSG results today as my lovely doctors chased for me and got the all clear. Such a relief!!
I know what you mean about the EWCM, I dont normally get much and as I dont chart , I cant add to my DH issues with performance so just go with the flow. Last 2 months I have had a couple of day when I have lots of CM/discharge but it's not clear so no ideas what this is and dont recall it being this bad when on the pill.
I also understand your point about the money and being the breadwinner as that is identical to my situation. I also have saved all the money so if we do end up having IVF and have to pay, it'll be my life savings going. I too am hoping to use it for extended maternity.
It must be awkward for your DH too, he knows he needs to deliver the goods (so to speak) and perhaps his reaction is to mask his embarassment. My DH is nearly in tears each time we have problems and it kills me to see him like this.
Keep your chin up, it'll happen but maybe you are trying too hard xxxx
I hear you on the main bread winner front / money. It is harder being the woman in that situation and knowing down the track that you won't be earning the whole time you are on maternity leave. One thing my hubby and I have always fought about is money as I earn double him and feel the pressure when anything financial comes up cos I feel I have to come up with the money (not we have to come up with it) ...and ivf is a big expense. Plus when you feel he could do more to avoid having to spend the money on that and save it for your extra maternity time you may feel a bit resentful.
All I can say though is try not to stress this too much to him as it may only have adverse effects on his performance in the bedroom which you are desperately trying to address. Maybe he is more relaxed thinking "well we always have ivf" and if it takes the pressure off him to perform then maybe its worth biting your tongue if you can. It may not mean he totally dismisses the fact that you have to go through the emotional and physical trials of ivf (though I know it can feel that way.... its natural, we are women afterall and we natrually think on a more emotional level!) Try to think of it like a man, in his shoes.. remove the emotion and think of it like a practical task. Men like to have options.
So if he says something like that again, respond in "his world". As hard as it is try to focus on that if he isnt pressured and is more relaxed thinking there are other options you can take, he is more likely to continue to perform, youre more likely to hit your target window and will hopefully get your BFP out of it.
Oh sweetie, you can pick it up again. Dont be so hard on yourself, you need to stay positive.
Big hugs my love
xx
So sorry to hear the PMA has taken a nosedive and I think Sim puts it all so brilliantly that there is nothing better I can add. Just wanted to give you a big hug xx
I have PCOS and get EWCM at the most random times during my cycle. My acupuncturist says its a sign of the condition and a few things have read backed that up. It's hard though to know that when it's one of the things you are looking for! I agree with Sim that your DH is using IVF as an option to take the pressure off himself, it's his job to 'deliver' the goods and it must be really hard on both of you when that doesn't happen.
Sorry, I don't have any real advice but I just wanted to reassure you that the first lot of EWCM might have been the good stuff and the second lot could be there to throw you off. Fingers crossed for you sweetie and try not to lose hope.
S xx
I can only say the same as the other ladies, your DH is using IVF as an option to take the pressure off, I feel for you as when he does not "perform" it must be completely heartbreaking for you.
I am sending you a huge hug, lots love xxx
I was reading somewhere recently about men not fully understanding a woman's feelings about infertility, and one of the pieces of advice that was given was to tell him to imagine that he had lost his job and couldn't get another. Men define themselves so much in terms of work, and I know it upsets my DH that I'm the main breadwinner in our household as well. When you add to that the fact that the other thing they define themselves by is their sexual prowess and ability to produce a bucketload of sperm when required (and you may or may not remember that my DH has NEVER been able to perform properly with me and that even if he did, his sperm are totally duff), and your hubby is probably feeling totally emasculated and desperately guilty at being unable to provide for you in any way. His only comfort is that there are savings in the pot that will allow you to have IVF so that you have a shot at overcoming his issues.
I know exactly how massively frustrating it is for you, but for the sake of your long-term relationship, please try not to direct your frustration at him too much. Big (((hugs))) and I hope his performance improves again soon xx
I felt loads better after reading all your lovely reply's, thank you for your thoughful answers. You are all right, i know deep down he was just trying to avoid a scene and look at the postives, after all, what else can he do? When im not so stressed and emotional i feel totally sorry for the situation he is in, i know he feels awful, but in that moment, laying in bed knowing another month is slipping by, i just feel more sorry for me than him!
I guess i just have to wait my 2 weeks, see what happens and keep in mind that i have a plan for next year! (yes, even if i am paying!)
Last big thank you for taking the time to write, it really means alot.
Gem x
p.s, funny that so many of us are the main bread winners.. so much for having it all eh!
Its only natural to be caught up in the emotion in the moment, baby making / love making (did I just say that??) is an emotional thing. Sometimes after sex I would feel such emotion that i would cry! so with everything you have going on its only natural to feel that way then. But do keep remembering you have a backup plan...besides i was thinking, dont you get 1 go on the NHS meaning that would be free? Hopefully you won't even need to go there, let alone try a second time using your own pocket money!
On the breadwinner front.....yes..how did that happen??
xx