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some people and their big mouths - grr (moan, sorry!)
Hi ladies
I just had to come on here and have a rant about what happened in the staff room today at work. After work had finished I was eating a bowl of All Bran before leaving as I often do when I am going straight to the gym. One of my colleagues started looking at me with a quizzical look and loudly announced to all in earshot, "I think Mrs. M (I'm a teacher!) has been doing a lot of snacking lately, perhaps it's of the craving type, 'wink wink. I wonder if she has a little secret' All the while she is looking at me with this stupid grin expecting me to own up to being pregnant. Another colleague then joined in the banter and they were both staring at me and grinning. I just wanted to die inside.
To them they were only having a laugh and would have no idea how insensitive they were being as they do not know we are having problems but probably have guessed we are trying as I made no secret of the fact that we would try for a baby when we got married last summer.
I have to add that this colleague has 3 children, fell pregnant accidently with the first and the other 2 got on the first try and so knows diddly squat about the pain of not conceiving month after month.
I tried my best to laugh it off but it was one of those situations where the more you deny something the more guilty you look, but I was caught completley off guard and didnt know how to act. I wont be forced into telling people about our problems but I felt like rolling my sleeve up and showing her the massive bruise from my last blood test (the one because of which I was late to work on Monday which probably got her suspicions up even more) and screaming in her face that some people cant just look at a man and get pregnant like some! Over the last few months I have got used to the usual questions at family gatherings about when we are going to start a family etc and I can just about cope with that I just say, "maybe one day" but she was practically asking me if I was pregnant. What makes me more mad is that even if I was I think it would be up to me to tell when I wanted!
As I walked out of school I could see my hands shaking, some people just have no idea. Im sorry for the long rant!
Has this kind of thing happened to any of you ladies and how so you do you respond and cope?
Wishing all of you lots of lucky baby dust XXX
I just had to come on here and have a rant about what happened in the staff room today at work. After work had finished I was eating a bowl of All Bran before leaving as I often do when I am going straight to the gym. One of my colleagues started looking at me with a quizzical look and loudly announced to all in earshot, "I think Mrs. M (I'm a teacher!) has been doing a lot of snacking lately, perhaps it's of the craving type, 'wink wink. I wonder if she has a little secret' All the while she is looking at me with this stupid grin expecting me to own up to being pregnant. Another colleague then joined in the banter and they were both staring at me and grinning. I just wanted to die inside.
To them they were only having a laugh and would have no idea how insensitive they were being as they do not know we are having problems but probably have guessed we are trying as I made no secret of the fact that we would try for a baby when we got married last summer.
I have to add that this colleague has 3 children, fell pregnant accidently with the first and the other 2 got on the first try and so knows diddly squat about the pain of not conceiving month after month.
I tried my best to laugh it off but it was one of those situations where the more you deny something the more guilty you look, but I was caught completley off guard and didnt know how to act. I wont be forced into telling people about our problems but I felt like rolling my sleeve up and showing her the massive bruise from my last blood test (the one because of which I was late to work on Monday which probably got her suspicions up even more) and screaming in her face that some people cant just look at a man and get pregnant like some! Over the last few months I have got used to the usual questions at family gatherings about when we are going to start a family etc and I can just about cope with that I just say, "maybe one day" but she was practically asking me if I was pregnant. What makes me more mad is that even if I was I think it would be up to me to tell when I wanted!
As I walked out of school I could see my hands shaking, some people just have no idea. Im sorry for the long rant!
Has this kind of thing happened to any of you ladies and how so you do you respond and cope?
Wishing all of you lots of lucky baby dust XXX
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Replies
So sorry you're colleague is a thoughtless cow. People who have had zero fertility issues generally have no clue it's not that easy for everyone.
When I got married my colleagues had a bet on when i'd fall. I fell 2nd month, had an ectopic which was very traumatic and nothing else since.
I used to feel so embarressed and mortifies when people would make these comments but now I have hardened somewhat.
I was at a christening and this snug girl who fell pregnant first try with both would not let it drop that "i MUST want a baby now" After laughing in off for the 4th time I did say "I have a career, we don't all aspire to be baby machines and your 2 have put me right off" It stopped the conversation!!
My colleagues who knew i'd lost my baby and yet still interigate me about any long haul flights I might be going on (basically a trick question to see if i was pregnant!) and that I can't go on a long haul if i'm pregnant! I said after the millionth time "you know i've lost a baby, mind your own business and try showing some compassion"
I now refuse to feel bad for other peopel being idiots. I let them know I think they're a wally as it's them that should feel bad and not me!
I know that's not the best approach but I feel a lot more confident to speak my mind about this and not feel ashamed that we're struggling x x x
Hugs to all XXX
I am a teacher too and I think teachers can be the nosiest people at time! I only need to be on the cover board and I am obvioulsy going for a scan! I have a friend at school who is able to plan which months she gets pregnant which is the most annoying thing ever!!! I would choose any month. Well I fell pg last Oct some people said I was mad because the baby was due in July and didnt I think about them being the youngest in the year! Unfortunately I lost that littleone. Keep strong and remember we are always here for you!
I know what you mean about those lucky "planners", Muffin, I have a friend who arranged her first 2 to coincide with hubby's school hols, then messed up on the 3rd and was berating herself for her bad timing!
I'd love that sort of bad-timing!