Forum home Getting pregnant Long term TTC & infertility

feel sooo deflated

hey ladies,

i'm gonna have a moan now,........
i'm sorry to do this but this whole baby making was suppoed to be a fun part of my life and now its jus doing my head in. i feel like such a failure! and it doesn't help that i've jus seen a 16 year old mum. and i was really pissed off about it, then i saw a mum pushing her baby and she was smoking...whhhhaaaattt??? don't get me wrong, every woman who wants to be a mummy really deserves to be but when is it gonna be my turn? i know i'm feeling sorry for myself but no-one else seems to understand my frustration
we're onto month 15, n all these women who are in trying for a baby forum are on month 1 and they are falling pregnant. of course i'm happy for them but i really really want this, i have done since i was 18 (i'm now 30), i jus feel that i honestly have something wrong with me and i won't ever be a mummy.

we've got our first appoint booked for 1st feb and i jus believe shes gonna tell me the worst

i'm sorry this is a depressing post, i do try and stay upbeat about it all but today i feel so down about it, i jus want to have a baby so bad

han xxx


  • Don't apologise for the post sweetie. There is not one person on here who has not felt this way. I actually had the same conversation with my husband two nights ago. I have a stinking cold and af is right around the corner and I am just crying because my body hates me and what I have I done that is so bad I don't deserve to have a baby. I stupidly checked into ttc, god knows why and I know which post you are referring to. I try to stay out of there. As lucky as those girls are who get pg so quickly why is it that 21 cycles and an mc later I am still no closer to having a baby.

    Im probably not helping you at all but I just wanted you to know that you really are not alone, stick with us hun, one things for certain there are no easy bfp's on this section of the site! xxx
  • Want to echo what socks has said - we all feel or have felt the same as you do now. I'm in my 30s and waited a long time before deciding the time was right (even though I'm in an 11 year relationship I didn't want to rush), I'm such in a perfect position in every way to have a child, and it's not happening. Most of my friends have had 'accidents' or got pg first DAY of trying - they don't understand at all what I'm feeling and why I'm not as enthusiastic as I should be about them being pg (they all know I'm struggling)

    Hopefully the fertility specialist can help. A word of warning though, things take ages on the nhs, it's going to be 6 months for me since first going that I'll find my blood results as they initially sent me on the wrong day of my cycle so it's been put back 3 months. It's unlikely they'll tell you anything first appointment, but put you forward for tests (& OH) so try not to get your hopes up too much about finding a lot out!

    I looked in ttc too socks - really shouldn't have image
  • I'm afraid that I don't have any words of wisdom, but I like all the other ladies in LTTC know exactly how you feel. This will be my 21 cycle of TTC and no whiff of a BFP and as yet no reason found why.

    Just have to keep hoping and believing that it WILL happen for all of us one day x
  • Hi hun

    G/c from TTC to say keep up the PMA and keep doing everything you are doing until you visit the docs.

    Sorry to hear that you are feeling down, I feel like this and its only Month 2 so I cant even begin to put myself in your shoes but I truly believe you will get your BFP and chance to be a great mother.

    Ps I too am 30 and everyone around me getting pregnant and it makes me feel so like a failure too.

    Big hug xx
  • Hiya,

    i dont really have anything to make u feel better but just to let you know i feel exactly the same way, i have friends who have concieved accidently or see people who are pg and still drinking/smoking and think why do they get to be a mummy and i dont. it is very frustrating and everyone who has been trying for a while will have times when they feel this way. keep your spirits up and i hope that your turn comes soon! xxx
  • After having the ninth pregnancy announced at work this week I am totally agreeing with you at the moment!! We couldn't be in a better position to have a baby yet it just isn't happening for us.

    It's sooooo hard to keep your PMA up and believe that it WILL happen for you one day when we face so many hurdles in getting our elusive BFP and are surrounded by pregnant women who have conceived at the drop of a hat!

    Rant over.


  • awwww ladies, i feel better already. been in work today and instread of feeling bitter towards every mum and baby that walks in, i feel happy for them!!!
    i know its gonna be a long wait still but i'm really trying to embrace what i have already, a wonderful husband and 2 gorgeous little 6 month kittens who are absolutely crazy and seem to understand wen i'm down and give me cuddles. bless them. i'll be happier once i've been to docs and i'm on the road to finding out whats happening, think its the not knowing thats doin my head in!!! well a little tiny bit of PMA in me so tanks for your always xxxx
  • Hi Hannah

    Im glad to see your feeling better, cant really add more than what the girls have said already. I felt exactly the same a few days ago & am feeling better again after reading such lovely posts from women who do understand.

    I think also once you've had your appt that will help cause your feel like your taking important & brave steps to acheiving that deserved sticky bfp.

    Keep us posted xxx
  • Glad you are feeling better hun xx just remember it is absolutely fine to have down days and sometimes it really helps to remember the good things we have in our life xx
  • I know how you feel, we have been trying for 13 months and my best friend has just announced she is pregnant and it was an accident. I'm so happy for her but its so difficult to take.

    I've been to the doctors today and now have to wait for a referral to the hospital, its going to take 10 days to write the referral letter, so annoying!

    The good news is that my husband got the all clear on his sperm count.

    Keep your chin up, we are all in this together...


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