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Feeing low...

Hi all,

You would think after all this time (2 1/2 years since i stoped the pill) having AF show up wouldnt effect me as much - we all know it doesnt matter how long you try for it can get you at anytime an knock you sideways again and again.

have been feeling very low recently, havent posted for a while just been being nosey instead :\)

when i last posted we had an appointment booked with private clinic at start of september for initial consultation with a view to have ivf and icsi at reduced cost in exchange for me donating some eggs.

we had to cancel appointment, hubbys work load took a down turn and he said no point going now as cant spare the money he said he thinks we should put things on hold abit as money is tight. i reluctantly called the clinic and cancled. Things have picked up again since and i am gutted we didnt go, i feel he was stressed out at lack of work that month and made a rash choice to cancel, not looking at it in the long term. nothing would of hapened over night.

we have an appointment with the nhs doctor we are under in december, due to my age as i have mentioned previously, they wont start any treatment for us for another 18 months. the appointment is to keep us in the system, the doc herself said there is no point in us going unless anything changes with my menstral cycle. well nothing has changed so we just have to call up nearer the time and move the appointment to the end of next year, then next year they can start the initial process of blood tests etc as the test results cant be older then 6 months old at start of treatment i will be 23 the april after (2011 - sounds so far away)

im just sad we didnt go, feel i have nothing to be positive about now either. not helped by the fact this month i am now 12dpo, my boobs are aching and feel like im carrying around two massive sand bags (not usual for me but dont want to get hopes up...again) i have a stinking cold and a banging head ache, just waiting for af to make an apperance in a few days time. praying she doesnt :cry:

am venting more then anything... not expecting a response just nice to get if off my chest. just want to stop feeling so neg and sorry for myself.

thanks for reading! x

Replies

  • Hello lovely

    We havent spoken before, im sorry that you are feeling so down, I think when you've been trying for so long we always take a blow when & if af arrives.

    As the work situation has picked up could you not look at re-booking the private appt, at least then you may feel like some progress is being made & you have something to focus on.
    The way you are feeling physically sounds quite positive to me, althoughI understand you not wanting to get your hopes up.

    I hope you start to feel better soon & maybe popping on for a chat here may help to get things out in the open.

    Sending you lots of hugs xxx
  • thanks for your advice laujai.

    we do need to discuss re-booking. hubby is quite stressed at the moment and its hard to approach the subject.

    we will get there in the end!

    xxx
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