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Why is it taking so long to conceive 2nd baby?

I just don't get it. I've been pregnant twice. The first time took 3 months but sadly m/c at 13 weeks. The second time took only 1 month and resulted in a beautiful daughter. We've now been TTC for 16 months and it's just really getting me down each monthimage
There weren't any complications with the birth of daughter other than 3rd degree internal tear which had to be stitched up under epidural. The dr doesn't seem to think that this would cause any problems conceiving. I've had day 3 and day 21 blood tests which were fine. Hubby sperm is perfect according to the tests. I had ultrasound last week and though I'm seeing dr Sat I haven't been called in so assume nothing bad was found.
I so want to be preg again and for my daughter to have a sibling and I hadn't intended the age gap to be this big but each month it just keeps getting bigger.
Has anyone else gone through tough times for 2nd baby?


  • Hey not for the second but I can relate. We started ttc March 08 got pregant June and sadly mc'd in July, not a sniff since, like you we had the tests SA fine, bloods consistent with ov then this month out of nowhere bfp. But that was 20 months after the mc and it has been the hardest time of my life. I made a real effort to chill this month and it seems to have worked, we wait to see if it sticks, I am not counting my blessings just yet. I think sometimes it just does take longer and it is really painful especially when you thow mc in the bag. You will get there, you have done it before, the tests are good news. Stick at it and chin up xxx
  • Secondary infertility is really common but isn't talked about as much. Pregnancy can sort out PCOS so it makes sense that if you were fine before it could alter things. Also already having a baby doesn't make things easier image

    The best thing to do is to work out when you are most fertile -OPKs/BBT and keep records that the doctors can make comments on. BBT can highlight issues that might not be picked up blood tests.

    Good luck hope everything works out well for you.

  • Thanks for all your replies. Just found out we've failed again this month. Very depressed todayimage
    I've tried OPKs and BBT but obviously these haven't worked.
    Had the hormone Day5 and Day21 blood tests. Had ultrasound of ovaries and womb and all ok there. The next step is to find somewhere to go private for further testing/treatment. Does anyone know anywhere in Essex?
  • I'm sorry honey, really hope you get some news soon, it is very frustrating being in the "unexplained" catagory xxx
  • I'm so sorry that you have not got your BFP this month.  Sending you my thoughts as I know how hard this is.  People will always say that you should feel blessed for having one and people will always ask when you are having more because they do not understand a) the emotional impact of wanting more children but not being able to even though you do feel truly grateful and blessed for having one already and b) that sometimes things just don't happen as you want them to.

    We were diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility, too.  We conceived our DS in the second month of trying and following six months of failing to conceive this time around we had blood tests and SA and these came back fine even though we are that bit older this time [I'm 38, DH is 40].  At this time, we were still hopeful.

    We tried naturally unsuccessfully [with OPKs and CBFM, vitamin supplements, conception-friendly lubricant ... you name it, we tried it] for another 12 months following this before seeking further tests/assistance [privately as we are not entitled to anything further on the NHS in our area].  A HSG, AMH, further hormone panels and SAs showed that everything was good.  I tried acupuncture, hoping that this would help but was told by my acupuncturist that my periods were "textbook" so there was little that he could help with.  So we had three IUI's [with Clomid] in the hope that this would bring us our longed-for sibling but again they failed.

    We then decided after two years of trying that we would try one last ditch attempt at IVF before moving on as a family of three [as this was all we could afford and I was emotionally at breaking point].  To give us our best chance, I felt that there was one thing that I needed to rule out so I went for immunes testing.  I was told by my consultant that sometimes [and they don't know why] a given pregnancy can make you immune to further pregnancies [like having chickenpox prevents you from having chickenpox again].  This kind of made sense to me and lo and behold, my immunes results showed that I have high natural killer cells so I was treated for this prior to and during our IVF attempt.

    We are now expecting our second child in just over four weeks.  I am not saying that immunes issues are the definitive answer to unexplained secondary infertility.  All I am saying is that there are options open to you. Also, I would still not rule out a natural pregnancy either.  My consultants always told me we had secondary SUBFERTILITY as they don't consider you as "infertile" until you have been trying for at least two years .... this is because unfortunately sometimes it will just take that long even if all is well.

    Good luck!!!   

  • Bubblicious, what do you ask for to get the immune tests done and what are they called? can you go to any private clinic to get them done?

    congratulations by the way!


  • Mubee, I had Chicagos done at a private clinic in London called ARGC where I also had my IVF.
  • I've also had my NK cells recently tested and it turns out they are higher then normal.  Bubblicious kindly replied to me over on the IVF page.image  I had a CD69 NK Cells test done and it cost me about £300.00 through a private clinic.  I am just about to start my third course of IVF with this new treatment so I can't say if it has worked for me yet but so far it's my only answer. I hope you all fine yours soon.


  • ladies, I am getting confused with the jargon - Bubblicious, what are Chicagos?

    Tigerlilley, is the test called NK cells? what does it mean?

    I just want to know what I need to look for on the internet if I wanted to get an immune test done.


  • I just had my natural killer cells tested and im not sure if there are other more in depth tests that they can do. I've typed in nk cells and cd69 tests and its given me a few websites. My clinic told me there wasn't enough evidence to say for sure this is why i can't get pregnant but it seems like a few people who are having trouble have high nk cells.
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