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So fed up with it all

Hi everyone
its so good to have somewhere to let it all out....
I have a 9yr old perfectly healthy normal pregnancy took 9months from coming off the pill... myself and husband was over weight with this pregnancy but all was ok...
8years we have been ttc with no joy at all we’re a little lighter now but no luck, last year we went through all the gp blood tests and semen analysis and all was ok but because our bmi is higher than they like the doors have been closed :( I know the answer is loose weight but that’s easier said than done I’m 40 and need to loose a good few stone for any help.... it gets me down so much and then I comfort eat... life has been so crap this last year and that just guts me every month....

my daughter is desperate to be a big sister and gets so bored it breaks my heart 
xx

Replies

  • Prayers for you. 
    I have been where you are. Feeling like it is never going to happen, but do not give up.
    But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
    Matthew 19:26 NKJV
    Here is our journey. I hope you find some hope in it.
    I am 43, husband is 58. We were widow & widower when we married in late 2018. I have a 13 yo daughter from my late husband, who my current husband loves as if she was his own. He has no children. Our daughter wanted to be a big sister as well.. We started TTC as soon as we married in late 2018. May 2019 got positive UPT, but miscarried at 5-6 weeks. Routine gyno exam in June 2019 found growth on right ovary. Surgery in early July ended up with loss of right ovary. Tried clomid August- November. My husband & I both got tested by fertility doctor in early December. My husband was at 75% and my fertility tested at 0.3 when 1.0 + is normal. We did IUI in January & February of 2020. Then all the crazy restrictions came. We felt that God allowed this as a way to get us to return to trusting Him. We stopped all medication. Only prenatal vitamins for me & husband kept on one-a-day vitamins. Focused on our faith & prayers. Put our full trust in our Lord. March 23 got second positive UPT in 2 days. I am currently 7 weeks + 1. We truly believe that God is behind our little blessing and it is all because we praised God through it all. God IS good.
    May Almighty God bless you with the child that you desire. We will praise You no matter what comes our way. For You Lord want prosper us all. In Jesus Christ mighty name we pray! Amen!!
    I hope you find some hope in our journey. Prayers for all who are TTC.

    #What God can not do does not exsist!
  • Thankyou so much and so pleased to read your story 
    unfortunately since writing this I found out 3 weeks ago that I was pregnant but just 5 days later I miscarried and it’s broken me it’s only 2weeks ago and I’m shattered trying to find the strength to continue right now that’s difficult 
    Thankyou and good luck to you x
  • So sorry for your loss. 
    Almighty Father, we pray that Your restorative power come upon this woman. Heal her emotionally & physically. Give her the strength to continue & the true peace that only You can give. May You bless her with the fruit of the womb just as you have so many in Your Word & myself. In Jesus Christ mighty name we pray! Amen!!

    I pray that you take this to your heart. 
    Let go & let God!
    #What God can not do does not exsist!
  • L0uiseL0uise New
    edited Apr 11, 2021 6:19AM
    Hi,

    With older age egg quality is much more sporadic, hence you will see more miscarriages (or failed fertilisation via IVF).

    Although Doctors do say weight loss helps, the evidence is that age has a much bigger effect than weight.

    The combined impact of maternal age and body mass index on cumulative live birth following in vitro fertilization - American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology (ajog.org)

    That basically means you kinda have 2 options, keep trying every month until a good one ovulates or go straight to IVF if you can afford.

    I would try not to focus on losing weight, but getting into the best shape / health ever even if your BMI doesn't change honestly. Fun exercise / sport / eating amazing fresh food for 6 to 9 months and just try to be ok that any miscarriage is not your fault, but rather just the body doing its natural thing and rejecting a faulty embryo.

    The embryo actually starts to develop at least 4 months prior to ovulation so any improvements you've made will take at least that long before you see some benefits (either naturally or IVF).

    Although BMI is linked to many things, at the biological level it means little because if your super healthy at that weight, happy / stress free and eating amazing, all your hormone levels and other known markers will definitely be a lot better.

    That's my few words of wisdom from all my experience.

    :smile:

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