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will it ever feel better???

hi not been on for a few weeks- i mc on 28th nov after finally getting pregnant.
nine years of trying for a baby- three ivf icsi attemts- the last attempt only had one embryo that survived thawing and it worked but four weeks later lost the poor wee thing.
this world is just so cruel and i feel so angry about it. it would have been easier in a way if it just had not worked like the other two times but to have the joy of it working then for all to be lost is not fair.
i have gone back to work and finish tomorrow but each day i have to paint my smile and get through the day-today was hard and i think with xmas i just want to hibernate.

will it ever get better- WHY US??? it is all we have ever wanted. i am just heart broken. i dont know what we will do now definatley not trying ivf for a forth time- too much to take on. possibly look at addoption?? i just wish i could go back to the start of november as i have never felt so overjoyed in my entire life.
i cry nearly every day at some point for me or for all the other heart breaking stories - it is just so sad.

how do i move on?

carol xxxxx

Replies

  • Hi Carol,
    I am so sorry to hear your news. Yes life can be very cruel! I had my mc in early Oct and still get teary. It does get 'easier' but you will never forget. It was all I thought about for about 6 wks. Now it's not constantly in my thoughts, but not far away! And it doesn't take much to bring it back. I am so sorry that you are going through this, especially at this time of yr. I fell like every one has expectations of you and you are supposed to fit in and be merry when you really don't feel that way.
    As to whether you decide to look in to adoption only you can decide if the time is right for you.
    I would recommend contacting the miscarriage association who can give you some support. I found it really helpful to talk through my feelings with other people in the same position. Coming on here helps too.
    Just remember it is normal to grieve and give your self time. You have been through a very difficult and horrible time.I hope 2009 is a better yr for you!
    Take care, Lilou x
  • i dont know but i am thinking of you lots. x x x x
  • Carol, really feel bad for you. You can't put a timescale on feling better - there are good days and bad days. I can only describe it as being in a fog and one day you suddenly notice it's sunny again.
    Hopefully 2009 will bring brighter days for you - will be thinking of you,
    Shell x
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