Arguing with OH

SarahG80 · Jun 13, 2008 5:18PM

It seems like all we do is argue. I feel like he resents me because he had to go back to work before me. Is anyone else experiencing the same thing?

Baby_B · Jun 11, 2008 8:01AM

Hi Sarah. Yes, I am.
For the first few days after mmc was confirmed hubby was an absolute rock to me, but over the last few days I can see he is getting tired of my mood swings and negativity. I want to start ttc again asap but he wants to wait until after first af. Then I get upset that he just doesn't understand how strongly I feel the need to be pg again. He keeps saying I need to be patient which really isn't helping.
I know he means well, and he is just worried about me, but we do seem to be bickering a lot at the time when we need to be helping each other the most. I guess because he didn't actually carry our bean he doesn't feel the connection I did.
It's so hard. From other people's posts it does seem to be quite common.

SarahG80 · Jun 11, 2008 8:22AM

I kinda get where he's coming from though...my hubby got 3 days off and a few pats on the back "there there" condolances when he got back to work. I get 3 weeks off no questions asked...it's not fair. Also there are NO support networks out there for guys...and he doesn't have any friends in London anyway. It sucks

Baby_B · Jun 11, 2008 8:50AM

Yeah, that is true. When we were at the hospital actually sat down and asked hubby how he was coping as she said men often get ignored when mc's happen but it can be just as tough for them. Hubby admits he doesn't feel the loss of the baby as much as me but he is mostly upset about how much it is upsetting me and about all the horrible things I have had to go through (loads of internal exams/scans, blood tests, injections etc)

Anne28 · Jun 11, 2008 9:08AM

We argued loads too. He basically shut down and wasnt there for me, he even went for his usual night out 2 days after I mc'd! I sent him an email (yes, I know how sad that sounds) explaining how I felt, and that he wasnt supporting me thru it, and when he got home he sat down and talked. I found out he was hurting as much as me, but felt he had to 'be strong' and not show it incase I got more upset. We had a cry together and are much closer now. Have you contacted the mc support association? I think they have a support group for men (I think) x

SarahG80 · Jun 11, 2008 9:23AM

don't you have to pay to be a member?

mrs__e · Jun 13, 2008 5:18PM

my hubby has been great looking after me but the other week i started talking about mc and he told me that i need to move on and can't keep dwelling on it. he told me that to him the baby was such a small thing - he thought of it as some cells. i know it sounds horrible but if that's his way then i figured then i can't argue with that. and i realised that i will talk to you lovely ladies about things as you understand it more. it is difficult for men, but we have both realised now that it has affected us in different ways and we respect that now so the issues haven't come up anymore.
it's such a testing time, but it can only make us all stronger xxxxxxxxx

Arguing with OH

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