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Could Really Do With Some Advice


Sorry to barge in on this forum but I could really do with some advice. A close friend has had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. Normally I would be there for her as much as I can but my due date is tomorrow. I feel a bit awkward contacting her - I dont want to upset her by being so close to having my baby when she has just lost hers. But I dont want her to think I am avoiding her either. I have sent a few texts to see how she is but havent heard anything back - I just feel so awful for her and guilty. What do you think I should do - contact her or leave her alone for a while?


  • Hello

    If you haven't heard anything by text, maybe you could ring.

    If you explain it to her, how you have on here. I'm sure she will appreciate that you are thinking of her, and didn't want to upset her.

    Tell her you were apprehensive about contacting her, as you are soon to have your baby. But you wanted her to know you are here for her, and if she needs you all she has to do is ask.

    You could also tell her about this forum, so she has an ear, even if she feels she can't talk to others around her. We have all been through somehting similar on here, and are very supportive.

    I hope that helps, please let us know what you decide, and how you get on. xx

  • I was in a similar situation a few weeks ago but the other way round.....I had an MC 2 weeks ago at 7 weeks ish and my friend, whose pregnant, like you wasn't sure how to be with me. She texted to tell me she was there and thinking of me and she wanted to come round the day or so after it happened (as I was off work) with biccies, tea, mags and what not but becuase she was pregnant I just wasn't ready to see her just yet (I didn't tell her it was coz she was pregnant but think she knew me well enough to guess)......but I was grateful for her texts and she also sent me a bunch of flowers with a lovely note saying she was there for me and would love to see me when I was ready and that meant a lot to me it really did.......after a few days I felt ready to see her, as my mum said I had to start 'de-sensitising' (sp) myself to things and we had a lovely lunch and it did lift my spirits to see her even though felt sad I wasn't pregnant still.

    You don't need to send flowers or anything (just saying what my friend did for me) but the fact you've texted to let her know you are there is fab and though she hasn't replied just yet in time she will - maybe you could send her a card and explain to her like you did in your post - I am sure she'll appreciate that - mum gave me one about 'Hugs' which was lovely!

    Hopefully in time she'll be OK and as Mithical says let her know about the forum as its been fab for me!

    Not sure if helped you but just waffled on - sorry!!!
    Very best of luck with your pregnancy and wishing you a quick birth and a healthy baby - take care xx
  • Just keep reminding her you are there and you care. She will come round in her own time - even in the midst of sadness a new baby is too exciting to miss. I wouldn't visit or ring until she does - she may still need some space.
    Good luck with your own lo
  • Hi I agree with what RadKad 78 said.
    I also had 2 friends that were pregnant at same time as me and I miscarried. I was worried that they would feel odd around me. It is hard to see them still pregnant but I explained to them that I didn't want them to feel odd around me.
    From your texts she will know that you are thinking of her. I wouldn't ring her yet. I would think about sending flowers tho. You won't believe how much I appricated flowers from people! I loved it because no-one knew what to say but the fact that they got me flowers told me they had thought of me and it was their way of showing they cared when they didn't have the words to explain.
    I wouldn't have wanted a pregnant friend constantly trying to contact me but I wouldn't have wanted to be ignored either.
    I hope that helps??
  • Thanks for all the advice. I heard from her last night - herself, daughter and partner have managed to get a last minute holiday deal to Spain so they are over there relaxing at the moment hence why I havent heard from her. Hopefully it will do them the world of good and they can enjoy some family time.

    Thanks again & I wish you all every luck with your future pregnancies.
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