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A mini rant (sorry!)

My MIL has also been pretty insensitive and hubby and I have kind of grown used to it. After our first mc she said some really insensitive things and I got really upset by them. After the 2nd one she again said some stupid things and I got a little upset but tried not to let her get me down so much.

Now she's been ok this last time and I thought perhaps at last she was realising how serious this is! But then yesterday hubby was on phone to her and it was on speaker as we were in the car and I could hear the conversation. They were talking about the mc's and the tests we're having and she said 'I think all the tests will be ok and it's just one of those things' hubby replied 'three of those things' and THEN she said.... (regarding the lady who had octuplets recently)

'well it could be worse, you could have 8 babies'!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I fully appreciate that having 8 babies would be SO difficult and such hardwork.....but I'd rather have 8 than none!!!!!!!!!! :cry:

Trying to ignore it and just move on - she'll never change but needed to get it off my chest.

~ NN xx


  • Hey hun, just forget about it, sometimes mothers and MILs just dont get it.
    My mother once she found out about my miscarriage told me that we never make her happy. As if i could help it.
  • Hi renee

    Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry your mother said that to you image People can be so insensitive. I remember last year in the TTC after MC forum we had a whole thread full of such comments!!

    But you're right - we just have to move on and be thankful that we have wonderful places like BE to get such good support and understanding!

    Take care, NN xx
  • Hi NN,

    Just read your post on my thread, thank you, you should be thinking of yourself right now though not others! xxx

    I too have insensitive MIL & also my mother at times! My MIL never acknowledged we lost our baby after Hubby told her she said "did SHE want another" & " dont you think you've enough on your plate with 3" (this lady had 8 - hello??) no such thing as sorry & never mentioned it since to either of us like it never happened! Then my SIL had twins recently & camera passed around the pub i said i cant look i'll start to cry my Mother said "dont you be getting all mumsie again!" stupid woman what a thing to say to someone who should be 22 weeks pg! :roll:

  • Hi KJ

    Don't be silly!! I have plenty of time to think about others ;\) Everyone has been so supportive and I want to be there for others too. I feel so selfish at times - all I seem to say on my emails right now is how low I'm feeling :roll:

    I'm sorry you know all too well about people being insensitive - I think it makes it worse when it's your mum or MIL because you expect them at least to be kind and supportive! At least we have eachother here to understand.

    Take care, NN xxx
  • :evil:

    That list was funny wasnt it, we certainly got a lot of our chests, someone who's better at this type of thing that me should dig it out... i started the thread in Nov if that helps to find it, it ended up pages long! lol.

    Sorry about your MIL, its so crap isnt it, i still get stuff upseting me all the time... a friend brought her baby round the other day, spent the afternoon having sing songs and cuddles, and when she had a little cry told me, " see mate, your better off," (umm lucky old infertile me!)

    Another collegue told me very nastily, re my holiday to vegas " well you wont be able to do that when you have a baby" errrr, yes i know, hence why i booked it after i lost mine!

    ooh look youv got me started

    Hope your feeling better again soon, i dont like to hear that your feeling unwell, if you wanna chat, you can always send me an email.

    Gem x
  • Thank you Gem. You know I might just go and dig that post out ;\) It made us laugh before so perhaps it'd work again and cheer us up!!? We should make a leaflet to be distributed in surgeries and places for people who know someone who's had a mc - what NOT to say!

    Sorry about what your friends said :cry: I know people can't understand 100% if they haven't been there but I am pretty sure that if it was the other way around I wouldn't say such things!! Have some compassion people!!! :roll:

    Anyway, when is your trip to vegas? How exciting! I've always wanted to go there...perhaps I could sneak in your suitcase!? :lol:

    Take care. Love NN xx
  • Gem I found the post and put it back at the top of TTC after MC forum! ;\) Go and have a read...hopefully will give you a giggle like it did me! :lol:

    Love NN xx
  • :lol::lol::lol:

    gummy gobbling, id forgotton about that :lol:

    and sock's MIL suggusting the bubble baths :lol:

    I cant stop chucking again!

  • Awww, you're welcome! ((((((((hugs)))))))) Thank YOU for starting the thread in the first place!

    What would we do without this place and eachother!? image

    Love NN xx
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