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Should have been our 12 week scan tomorrow

Beckyboo2012Beckyboo2012
in Miscarriage & pregnancy loss
A couple of weeks ago we were desparately waiting for tomorrow to come so that we'd get to see our beautiful baby again. After a scan at 8 weeks with a strong HB and baby measuring properly we'd got really excited. Then we miscarried at 10 weeks.

That actually seems like years ago. I can't believe how much the time has dragged by since. All I can think about is how excited we both were and what we've lost.

We should have seen our baby kicking around tomorrow, gotten even more excited, started to tell even more people......

Instead I'm grieving a dead baby. Nobody seems to understand. I went into town today and I just could not believe the number of babies and pregnant women I saw. I was so jealous and so angry with myself for begrudging their happiness.

I have no idea how long it'll take us to get back to where we were. I'm so lost without my baby. It was like I could see where my life was going and I was so happy. Now it's been taken away and I don't know why, or how I'm going to cope until another baby comes along (if that even happens). I hate being so pessimistic but I can't help it.

This is absolutely destroying me.

Sorry for ranting but I can't help it.

Replies

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    yummymummy86yummymummy86
    hiya hunni, after reading ur post i just had to write. i know exactly how you feel. i lost my baby at 7wks after the doc insisted that unless i was bleeding bright red blood heavily the baby would be fine. i found myself distraught on they day of our 12wk scan i was un consolable. i would have been 15 weeks now and it still hurts sooo much. i will never forget that baby i lost. i felt exactly the same when seeing newborns and pregnant women.

    i had to wait 7 weeks til my first period showed up and now having to try all over again.

    ur not ranting hun.

    im here anytime you need a chat.

    hugs xxxx

    nikki
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    Radkad78Radkad78
    Ohh hunny its not ranting you are perfectly entitled to feel like this.........you're going through a horrible time and it will take time to start to feel better about things again - everyone is different with how they cope and you are OK to be feeling how ever you are feeling without guilt and to come on here and talk and get it out there.
    Sending you big hugs xxx

    I had my MC at 7+3 and a week or so after the MC my letter for the dating scan arrived (you'd think they'd update the computer so that wouldn't happen!!), so of course I then knew the exact date and was beside myself on run up and then on the day my blimmin AF shows.......33 days after MC - I was upset initially but then took it as a sign (for something!!) that it came on that day of all days for a reason and tried to be PMA about it!!!!

    Its now been over 3 months since the MC and we're TTC again but it is hard and some days are better than others!
    Just take your time to grieve and come on here for support.
    Thinking of you hun
    xxx
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    joanne1818joanne1818
    hi ya beccaroo - oooohhh hun, you're not ranting, of course its soooo sad and upsetting and sooo hard to think of the going forward and getting over it, you will in time. By the sound of it though you need to take your time before starting ttc again, get your head and thoughts in the right place. Completely understand and know how you are feeling. I spoke to you a few weeks back after having a double mc and completely know where you are at. I'm back at work and yes, having something to do during the days does help. Didn't help yesterday that i had my blood test results back to confirm my hormone levels are almost back to normal - i know nothing miraculous was going to happen, but its kinda made it so final - they have gone and i am no longer pg. Found it so difficult to be at work, but somehow managed to get through the day. Just hoping and praying AF cycles kick in again soon so i know where i am at. The thoughts about the what could have beens hit when i am least expecting them, and i have managed to become rather numb about it at times, and i do wonder whether i am going to get a big hit of emotions soon because i have almost kept most of them in - i have cried with husband and on my own, but don't think its all gone yet, there is more. Guess what i am saying is that the first few months are going to be hideous but i hope over time it gets a bit easier....
    Sending hugs to you
    xxxx
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    Blue_GeckoBlue_Gecko
    Hugs Honey

    I found out about my MMC nearly 5 weeks ago and had a ERPC 4 weeks ago today. The last few days I've cried and cried, so up and down at the moment. Feel completely stuck in limbo. I can relate to everything you've said, there are pregnant women and babies everywhere and it hurts so much.

    I suppose we've got to keep hoping and trying x
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    gemsie24gemsie24
    Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. It's terrible and heartbreaking losing a baby - especially if you've seen a HB at a scan. I lost a baby at 5-6 weeks last August. I was so upset, confused and angry. I decided that I wanted to take a break from TTC and concentrate on my daughter. Myself and OH bd once, because I was still emotionally hurting - and I found myself with a BFP - 5 weeks after my MC. I now have a 14 week old baby boy. What I am trying to say in my ramble is I know it's devastating for you at the moment, and you will NEVER forget the baby you lost, but never lose hope. I am praying for your sticky bean soon.xx
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