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Miscarriage - emotional rollercoaster

I posted my story on the ttc and ltttc pages earlier this week but it's all so much more real now.

After ttc for 13 months with no hint of anything happening, and having had our initial appt with fertility specialist, got our BFP on FR last wednesday. CBD negative on thursday but BFP on sat morning.

For some reason though just couldn't get excited. Felt really ill, could hardly sleep and had terrible nightmares that I can't even bare to think about now. Had pains in my side on sat and emergency GP took blood for hcg and referred me to EPU on Mon mornin - to reassure me?!

They told me Hcg was way too low at only 32 and it only climbed to 46 on monday. But it was 'early days' so it could be ok. But started spotting brown on mon night and was advised by doc that mc was inevitable. So I waited and waited and it started late last night.

I've gone from having fertility investigations to being unexpectedly pregnant to having a miscarriage in the space of just over a week.

I've done a lot of crying but sometimes I feel ok, and can even laugh. It's like I've forgotten it's happening to me but then I remember and come crashing down. Is this normal?

Replies

  • hi i had a mmc that was discovered at 12 weeks i had my scan at 4 i didnt cry until 11 that night then like you both i was upand down kept forgetting i wasnt preg n e more and would have to remind myself and come crashing back down to earth even thought i felt the baby move (wind) so its perfectly normal hang in there im sure we will all soon have our little bundles xxx
  • Thank you so much for your responses - it means a lot.
    I cried so much on thursday night I don't think I had any tears left for yesterday or today. DH cried last night too.

    Claire I think I am like you in as much as I am 35 and feeling 'old' at the moment. I also feel that I could not bare to wait another 13 months to get pregnant again. I am holding on to the thought that I have an ultrasound and a lap n dye booked in the next few months anyway as we had our first appt with fertility specialist back in december. Had my bloods done and DH had his SA but I suppose we know the results of those already as we managed to conceive naturally.
    Kiz xxxxxxxxxxx


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