Forum home Pregnancy Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

Sad that this is my first post but need to let it out.

Hello

I'm so sad that this is my first post on here. I've been looking on here for months and went from the ttc forum to the pregnancy one and now obviously to here. I've never posted before but felt the need to post now more than I ever have before.

I would have been 13 weeks pregnant today but after an emergency scan yesterday (after some bleeding on Thursday night) me and my husband were told that our little baby died/stopped developing (I don't actually know which) at just over 8 weeks. Its very weird as I had quite bad sickness and tiredness and both of these almost suddenly stopped around the time this would have happened. At the time I was glad and I said to my husband how pleased I was that I felt "normal" again. I'm having the erpc operation on Tuesday and i'm hoping that will help to give me some closure. I know this has all happened for a reason and I would rather this happen than to happen any later or for our baby to have ended up being really poorly in the future but its still a horrible thing to have to deal with isn't it.

I know I will feel better in time and we will both move on from this but its strange having such a mixture of emotions. I fell asleep earlier and when I woke up I forgot and thought I was still pregnant for a second and then it hit me again. My husband is great and we've been grieving together but sometimes its hard to say everything out loud isn't it.

I'm sorry that we are "meeting" under these circumstances and I'm so sorry that we've all had to experience this. You all seem like lovely people and I've read almost all of the posts from about the first 8 pages or something and it did help to make me feel better that I'm not alone.

Replies

  • Hey mate,

    I'm really sorry to hear of your miscarriage, I hope that you start to feel better soon.... I too have just miscarried and had an ERPC on Thursday, they also told me that it could possibly be a partial or full molar pregnancy and have sent the tissue off for testing so I'm waiting for results.

    I wasn't as far gone as you, only 6 weeks, but I didn't just want to read and run and of course to tell you you're not alone. The ERPC is painless and the best way to get it over and done with (so to speak) All the staff at the EPU I went to were so very lovely from the nurses on the ward to the consultants and anaethetists and explain everything to you in as much or as little detail as you like.

    I hope that it all goes OK for you and your husband and that this is just a little blip that you can get over together.

    Good luck hun

    Katie x
  • Thanks for your reply.
    I felt really low earlier when I posted this. Since then (even though its only been a few hours) i've started feeling a bit better, although I know that will probably keep changing. one minute I am crying and the next I kind of feel ok.
    Its comforting to read about other people having erpc as I've been a bit worried about it although just want to get it over and done with as well like you say.
    Do you know if you still have bleeding afterwards or is the erpc really all of it? I felt slightly bombarded with leaflets and information yesterday and although I'm glad I've booked the erpc I feel like I still have a few questions.
    Nicola
  • Hi Nicola

    so sorry to hear your bad news, you are right when you say your feelings will keep changing mine do, i still think of my bean everyday & what could have been but it is easier now than back in november.

    You are lucky your OH is so supportive thats really good & will definately help. I wish you well hon.

    KJ.xx
  • big hugs to you hun


    it does sound like you possibley had a molar pregnancy, because the symptoms you describe at 8 weeks are what happens,

    i had my miscarraige in oct, and found out 3 weeks later it was a partial molar pregnancy, in basic terms it means there was too many cells and the placenta overtook the growth of the baby,

    it is classed as a tumour, because of the rate of growth but because of the procedure you go through, you get rid of it, however, if it is a molar pregnancy you will be hormone checked for a minimum of 6 months (im on my 4th month now) to make sure its not increasing and the growth isnt back!

    this isnt meant to worry you, and if you want any more info please just ask,

    this is a horrid time for you and everyone around you. i still get asked now how my pregnancy is going ( being a fat girl) and then the "im so sorry" conversation,

    big perscription of tea, chocolate, hugs and wine does help. xxxx
  • Thank you for your kind messages. This is such a strange and upsetting thing to go through. i feel ok ish one minute and the next I just feel like I could cry forever. The same as you all I'm sure.
    Thanks again, its nice to know that other people understand.
    xx
  • you have good and bad days, i lost my little star on 4th oct,

    my best friends daughter kept her pregnancy from me for 6 weeks for fear of upsetting me, but i was more upset that she hadnt told me,

    today she found out she was having a girl, and texted me, i just wept, for the first time in a couple of weeks, it dont help that AF is due today, and i had to send off another urine sample and mark the pregnancy question as NO!! (yes i did a test to make sure)

    my advice, cry if you have to, smile when you want to and laugh when you feel like it,
  • Hun, thats why we are here, to be there for each other. I had a missed miscarriage at 7+1, the funny thing is that the doctors think it happened the same day or one day before as the babys size was so good for date, doesnt make it easier anyhow, my operation will be on Thursday or Friday according to my meeting with the anaesthesilogist tomorrow.

    I wish you luck today and please keep us updated on your status

    Renee
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