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MISCARRIGE YESTERDAY AND I FEEL LIKE I'VE FAILED

hi girls I need to talk to someone I was 5 1/2 weeks pregnant and yesterday I started to bleed heavily.
I know I've lost the baby as this is my 3rd miscarrige and I just feel empty, like I've failed at the one thing my body's actually ment to do.
My husband has gone to work today and I'm trying to keep busy to forget about it but I can't. I've got to go to the doctors tonight as I'm in so much pain and to see if I need a D and C. I'm kind of hoping i can so that everytime I go to the tolet I don't feel like I'm flushing away another part of my baby
I know you're all going through the same thing so thought this would be the best place to talk about it
Thanks

Replies

  • Hi vicki

    I am so sorry to hear about all your losses.

    You have not failed in any way, shape or form although I completely understand feeling like that. I have had 2 mc's.

    I know it won't change how you are feeling right now but most mc's happen for a reason beyond our control (usually chromosonal) and are very, very rarely anything that the mother did or didn't do.

    Were the 3 mc's in a row and do you have any other children? Talk to your doctor and they should refer you for some tests to see if there is anything specific going on or if it's completely bad luck. There are problems that can be succesfully treated and please know that even after 3 mc's in a row you still have a good chance of going on to have a healthy pregnancy.

    We're always here to listen whenever you need to talk.

    Good luck at the doctors and I am wishing you all the best for the future.

    Take care, NN xx

  • All 3 were in a row, we have no children.
    I just don't see the point in trying anymore if they all end in a miscarrige to be honest right now I just want to curl up in a ball and die.
    I think I'd rather be told I can't have childrne than to get pregnant and lose them
    I'm just so confused
    xx
  • Hi Vicki,
    Sorry to hear your sad story. I can relate to you feeling like just curling up at the moment and not wanting to contimplate the future. I had a M/C in Oct and felt like that for weeks, (and still feel like that sometimes). I was in a very bleak and dark place and even my husband couldn't console me.
    I think at the moment you just need to feel what you feel and if in the future you want to speak to the Dr about looking in to possible causes then you can do it then before you get pregnant again, if you ever feel like wanting to try again!
    But for now keep talking, even if it is only to the ladies on here. Although I felt very alone you don't need to be. If you want to talk please feel free to. Otherwise let yourself grieve but don't blame yourself!!!
    Take care,
    Lilou xx
  • I felt exactly the same when we lost our bean in July, I was absolutely heart broken and going to the toilet was the worst part because, like you say you feel like you are flushing your baby down the toilet. Mog is right though hun, time is a healer I will never forget my bean and I don't have any children either but it will make the successful prgnancy so much more precious. Please don't give up, there are many women on here who have had 3 or more mc's and gone on to have successful pg's. In the meantime you can lean on us xxx
  • Hi again vicki

    Take your time and let yourself feel all the emotions you need to. I just wanted you to know that there is still hope if and when you feel ready to try again. It is completely understandable the way you are feeling. I remember feeling like the world had ended after my mc's.

    Take care, NN xx
  • Hi,

    I just want to repeat what everyone else above has said, your not to blame in any way.

    You take care chick, wishing you all the luck when you start ttc again, you may not feel like it now but there will come a time when you will.

    Thinking of you x
  • hi girls
    just thought i'd say thank you for your kind words and as horrible as it may sound it has been some comfort to know that I'm not the only one going through this.

    Hubby and me have decided to try for another baby. But I just can't seem to stop crying or getting upset still. We went out at the weekend and I had a few drinks and all the emotions that I've tried to keep from everyone just came spilling out and my hubby had to take me home I was that hysterical.

    I don't now what do i can't look at a baby without filling up. don't wanna get out of bed in the mornings I'm trying to put it behind me and keep a brave face on it all. No one close to me knows I'm feeling like this and they keep telling me how well I'm coping.
  • hi vikki
    i know just how you feel last week i lost twin girls at 23 +3 with no warning it was such a shock just to say tho dont give up hope i have now had 5 m/c and i also have 5 children my last born was born 11 week early then i got pregnant with the twins but sadly had late m/c so please dont blame yourself its mother natures crule way of life and hope you manage to get the baby you deserve.
  • Hi vikki,

    I had a miscarriage on Friday night so I know how raw your feelings are. I was just over 5 weeks as well. This was my first ever pregnancy and my hubbie and I have been so upset by it all. Friends and family don't know what to say and to be honest I don't want to talk to them about it as they cannot possibly understand how I am feeling.

    I too found it great help to know that the women on here know how I must feel and can say the right things.

    My heart goes out to you - the pain is immense (even more so for you given that this is your 3rd mc) but I have no doubt that it will get easier as time goes on. Mother nature does suck but think how precious our babies are going to be when they finally arrive.

    C.xx
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