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Newbie- Feeling Terrible
Hi
Apologies in advance, this is going to bore you to tears but I need to get things off my chest.
I was pregnant, had lots of mixed emotions etc due to lots of complications with my last pregnancy, anyhow, I came to be very excited once I had an ultrasound, everything looked great, nice strong heartbeat, no complications picked up, I was put on hormone supplements and low dose aspirin to prevent clotting (a problem I had in my previus pregnancy), I allowed myself to get really excited as I approached 12 weeks.
Last Saturday, a day before the 12 week milestone, without any warning whatsoever, my waters broke and I passed my perfectly formed but tiny baby, then the pain started both emotional and physical, I spent the following 4 days with contraction like pains as my body began to expel the placenta, I am still bleeding now but decided against a d&c as the last one I had, I ended up aspirating during surgery and was told by the dr i was lucky to be alive. I am due for another scan next week to see if it has all cleared.
My husband, althouigh initially upset, is now no support whatsoever and cant understand why I am not over it, I am not liking him very much at the moment. We recently emigrated, all my family and friends are in the UK, I feel so alone and am struggling. My little one of 20 months is keeping me busy but I have had no rest whatsoever since this happened, I feel exhausted and so depressed.
Apologies again for the rant, thanks to anyone who takes the time to read xx
Apologies in advance, this is going to bore you to tears but I need to get things off my chest.
I was pregnant, had lots of mixed emotions etc due to lots of complications with my last pregnancy, anyhow, I came to be very excited once I had an ultrasound, everything looked great, nice strong heartbeat, no complications picked up, I was put on hormone supplements and low dose aspirin to prevent clotting (a problem I had in my previus pregnancy), I allowed myself to get really excited as I approached 12 weeks.
Last Saturday, a day before the 12 week milestone, without any warning whatsoever, my waters broke and I passed my perfectly formed but tiny baby, then the pain started both emotional and physical, I spent the following 4 days with contraction like pains as my body began to expel the placenta, I am still bleeding now but decided against a d&c as the last one I had, I ended up aspirating during surgery and was told by the dr i was lucky to be alive. I am due for another scan next week to see if it has all cleared.
My husband, althouigh initially upset, is now no support whatsoever and cant understand why I am not over it, I am not liking him very much at the moment. We recently emigrated, all my family and friends are in the UK, I feel so alone and am struggling. My little one of 20 months is keeping me busy but I have had no rest whatsoever since this happened, I feel exhausted and so depressed.
Apologies again for the rant, thanks to anyone who takes the time to read xx
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Replies
I wish I could give you a great big hug darling x x x
It must have been absolutely horrific for you and still is - and so scary just happening like that. Im so so sorry x
Im sorry your husband is not being much support atm - prehaps he is bottling it up? I have found the last few days the worse - as people also expect me to be "over it by now". if only it was that simple and easy.
I have done a memory box and put little bits and peices in there - that has given me great strength. some other girls have done other things (getting a special bracelet, planting a flower ). I found that doing my little box was my little reminder of the baby I had as I didnt want to just forget about it.
Although you may not feel up to it yet TTC after mc is busier than this forum and the girls are fantastic. I am still bleeding (sorry if tmi) and in no ways emotionally or physically ready to ttc yet - but thats where I posted and got tremendous support.
Could you maybe come over to the Uk for a bit to get some support from family and friends?
there are lots of "friends" on here that will talk and give you big internet hugs.
thinking of you hun, and feel free to rant away x x x
So sorry for your loss I fully understand what you are going through after a mmc in July and now waiting for a scan on tuesday to confirm the worse again. I too have a 20 month old little girl and she really is what gets me through.
Sending you big hugs.
xx