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Hi, new in here (again) can't pull myself together

Hopeforbump2Hopeforbump2
in Miscarriage & pregnancy loss
Hi there everyone, my name is Megan, i'm 26 and have recently experienced my 5th miscarriage. I had to write to somebody because i feel like i will just explode if i don't. I'm in tears as i write this. We found out on the 8th April that we had lost another little one and i decided on medical management after having a horrific bleed after a d&c on a previous MC. It turns out the hospital didn't give the correct medication that would have stopped my pregnancy hormones and because of that i didn't pass the baby. Had another scan on the following wednesday and was told to try it again - this time they gave me the correct medication and i passed our baby. After that i had a very bad bleed and collapsed.
I'm home now and have been well looked after by hubby and family. But since then i have been feeling very angry - can't stop snapping at hubby and now even worse my daughter who is only 2. This makes me feel very guilty but i can't seem to stop. I can't remember the last time i smiled and for real, i just want to feel happy again. I don't even feel like i can be a good mum because i'm constantly down.
I know this all sounds very pathetic, but i need to do something before i hurt those dearest to me.

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    roisineroisine
    dont be hard on yourself ,have the docs done some preliminary tests to see whats happening.five mcs in a row should be looked at.it prob could be something simple like aspirin etc needed.you have a child,youre young so thats the major problems sorted.anyone who loves you will let you have a rant or two.its normal youre upset and confused.i know i felt very bad after mine.although im older.look after yourself and hope you get the suport you deserve xxxxxx
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    Mission-ImpossibleMission-Impossible
    Hi
    Sorry to read about how you are feeling - having a mc is the worst feeling in the world and goodness knows the effect of having 5...so u have a good reason to feel as you do.
    As Roisine has asked, have you had any tests as surely this should be investigated??? You probably are fed up of ppl saying so but you do have age on your side and that is a big help for you as there is nothing worse than feeling time is running out.
    What you have experiences is truley horrendous and maybe you could look at some other ways of getting support. When I had a mmc I stated journalling and researching mc's...I wanted to know everything and read as many books, articles and research as I could about hormones and cycles, I wanted to understand what went wrong. I read a book about chinese medicaine and identified that my cycle was too long and ovulatig at the wrong time, so with some self help techniques and a few yrs of being a miserable cow, we finally got there and had a little boy last year.

    Some of the girls on the forum when i mmc had some counselling to help them....do what is right for you xxxxx
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