grieving...

mrs__e · May 24, 2008 9:52AM

hey

i'm having one of my moments. i've been ok today, just wanting tomorrow to be over, up until now when it's hit me again.

i'm not sure if this is going to make sense but i will try my best. up until now i think i have been grieving/thinking about the future with this baby that we will no longer have. but now i think it has hit me that our little bean has actually died and i am now grieving for that part of it. does this make sense? i think it has hit me because tomorrow my little bean won't be inside me and it will be well and truly over, even though i know it has died.

i had to get that off my chest and try to make sense of it all.

maybe once tomorrow is over i can start to move on.

i hope i can be as strong and as brave as all you lovely ladies

big hugs xx

sillymoo · May 22, 2008 5:35PM

It is a very difficult and confusing time and there is no right or wrong way to grieve, just let it happen and remember there are always people around you to chat to and support you.
Hugs for tomorrow xx

Hep37 · May 22, 2008 7:39PM

I again know how you feel I had my D&C weds as you know and it didn't hit me that it was all over until I woke up thurs morning and I realised I had slept in as bladder not woke me up and then it all came back to me I was no longer pregnant.

As the day went on I was feeling low and angry, even told my husband to get out my face as I couldn't stand him being round me (he's used to it as this is our fourth time) just wanted to be alone and speak to no one and reflect on everything we had planned and thought of about the future. Had a bit of a cry then told myself it was time to move on, I can't change what's happened and no amount of feeling sorry for myself was going to change that.

Now I can't sleep and this will go on for a couple of nights and as each day goes by it will get easier and easier.

It's not easy and everyone grieves differently, just take it in your own stride, talking about it helps either with us ladies your DH or family and friends, don't bottle it up. That's what I do and can't help myself and then about two months down the line someone could just say something really normal but I crumple in a big heap and sob for hours, but do you know what I always feel better after but until that point comes I keep that brave face on that everything is ok!!!

Just be yourself and don't be afraid to grieve you have every right to.

Thinking of you xxx

Anne28 · May 23, 2008 10:01AM

I know how you feel. I was dealing with it well after my scan and while talking to the medics, as i had had a feeling something was not right for a while. But on the way home I just had to pull over and cry as it hit me hard that - yes, my baby was gone.

I cried every night for a week after, but each time the tears hurt a little less. I had no-one to turn to, as I had not told my family I was pg (was waiting for the dating scan.) so couldnt really go and tell them I had been and was no longer. My partner just closed down and didnt want to talk about it at all. So I just grieved on my own, in my own way.

Everyone is different, and however you grieve is right for you. Dont think that there is a set way to feel, or a set time to grieve. There isnt.

Take care hun, I hope you recover well. xx

PinkToothbrush · May 23, 2008 3:43PM

Been thinking of you all day today and hoping that at the very least you're in no physical pain. I understand if it's painful for you to post there but you'll always be welcome on the Dec forum and I know everyone will be hoping you're ok and crossing their fingers for some good news for you when you're ready to try again. xx

chocolate_cake · May 24, 2008 9:52AM

Hi, just wanted to say, it does take time. Leaflet i got from hospital says that some women get over it quickly, whilst others can't get over it until they have baby. I would say it took me about 3 months, however some days i still just cry and cry, but it DOES get easier, never thought it would when people told me but it really does. I still say good night to my angel baby everytime i pass the spare room which would've been the nursery.

Take care, love chocolate cake xx

grieving...

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