Forum home Pregnancy Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

time to introduce myself

hello ladies I'm sad to be joining you but hope that we can be as big a support to each other as I've foud in TTC and Due in April.

I had a chemical PG which ended at 5 weeks in June, I then fell pregnant again and was quite positive as I had symptoms like nausea and sore (.)(.) which I didn't have even a glimpse of the previous pregnancy. However I started getting brown CM on Tues evening (6+2) which continued yesterday then today I woke up to red blood with clots. Me and DH have just been to EPU and it's been confirmed that I've had a 2nd MC. I feel so empty and although my brain tells me there's nothing I could have done my heart says I've let DH down again. He was just starting to believe in the pregnancy, while we were watching TV the other night he turned to me and said "I've just realised I'm going to be a dad".

The Midwife has said we can start trying straight away but can be best to wait until I've had another cycle, I'm so scared that this will keep happening. I've alot f friends and family who are either pregnant or have young kids and I'm sat here wondering why everyone else can manage but I can't. i'm just glad I'm off work this week I couldn't face going in esp since one of my colleagues is due in a few weeks time.

Replies

  • Hi Dangermouse,
    I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's an awful thing for anyone to go through and nothing anyone says c an make you feel better.
    Look after yourself this week and take time to be nice to yourself and DH and keep posting on here, everyone understands and can support you through this miserable time.
    xxxx
  • Oh no Damgermouse I am so gutted for you, I just checked my post from yesterday to see how you got on.
    I have been booked in for a scan tomorrow afternoon, the bleeding has still stopped but they said it sounds like I am having a struggling pregnancy. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I will pop on to see how you are doing, I might be on here myself tomorrow..
    Take care
    Melanie xxx
  • Hi DM

    Sorry to hear you'll are going through this Im not sure what I can offer you at the moment as our mmc is still vry fresh just give yourself the time you need & if you can talk about it rather than bottle it up like I tend to do!!!! Also this forum can be vry quite ttc after mc is nice & I have also posted in ttc & explained that not ttc just wanted to talk to me oldie mates in there & the support has been great.

    Sending you lots of hugs xxxx
  • Oh DM I am so sorry to hear about your loses - my heart goes out to you.

    Please please don't ever feel like you have let your DH down - he won't think like that at all and his main concern will be that you are OK.

    As Laujai says talking is best and better to be open with each other and give yourselves time to grieve.
    Its been 3 months since my MC and I have good days and bad days but this forum has helped me soooo much so please come on here and talk to us as we all know exactly what you are going through and can understand your grief better than someone who has never had an MC and like I've found prob just don't 'get it' if you know what I mean.

    Why don't you wait a cycle, let your body adjust and start trying again when you're ready? This will also give yourself some time to grieve too,.......but you got to do what feels right by you.

    Your time will come and we will all go on to have our own healthy babies and they'll be so loved and precious to us

    Please come on here for as much support as you want..........TTC after MC section has more people posting if you want support here but I do come on this section and check too xxx

    Melanie2010 - I hope all is OK with you hun after just reading your post above - hope the scan went OK xxx

    xx
  • I'm so sorry DM, MC is so cruel )))) Hugs (((( x
  • hey DM,
    I read your thread in preg last week as I was looking for people going through the same as me, and now I've followed you here image

    I have had 9 days continuous bleeding. Last thurs babe was alive and we saw the heartbeat. But today's scan no baby. Wish it hadn't been there last week, because feeling like seeing it's heart beat then losing it is worse than having confirmed MC last week. Gave me false hope that the bleeding might be ok. But then I started getting abdo pain at weekend, and so had the repeat scan.

    How are you feeling now you've had a few days to start to get your head round things? Today have mainly been crying. Feel weird talking to family by text, but I feel like I'll cry if I speak to anyone.

    Unfortunately my work involves x-rays so had to tell people as soon as BFP, much earlier than would have liked. And means even though next PG I'll be terrified of MC again, I'll still have to tell people as soon as I find out myself.

    Are you back at work now? I don't know whether to go in tomorrow or not. And I'm due to be on call all weekend. Feel bad to have the weekend off as my boss has been lovely and did my on call last week and is doing tonight. How long did you other ladies have off work when you found out?

    Gemma
    xx
  • Oh DM i'm so sorry - sending you huge hugs, like Laura, my mc was recent, only 1 week ago. So sorry for your loss.

    Jodie xx
  • Hi gemgems I'm sorry to hear your news, it must be hard when people already knew. If you feel you can't face work you should take some time off - just don't take too long as it may make it harder when you do go back (if that makes sense?!). Hope you feel better soon.

    I was on holiday last week when I MC started so I had a few days off after but went back to work on Monday. No-one at work knew and people always get a bit arsey when you take time off straight after a holiday so I thought I'd better just go back. I was still bleeding on monday, the 1st person I saw when I got to work is my 8 month pregnant colleague then when I got to my desk my supervisor came over with all the problems that had happened wheile I was off. I almost walked out and was close to tears at several points. I work in a bank so have to see customers which was really hard i had no will to speak to them properly so just got them out as soon as I could. I was exhausted when I got home.

    I've been a bit better since I stopped bleeding but today hasn't been so good, have been feeling teary again. I've got a sneaking suspicion one of my friends is pregnant for 2nd time, I got a message asking if I'd go for a coffee tommorow - the only other time she's asked me to go out for anything other than a boozy night was when she announced her last pregnancy. I just can't face hearing someone else is pregnant right now.

    This has turned into a bit of a ramble sorry!
  • I'm feeling a little better today, so I think I'll go back to work tomorrow, as I already have 10days holiday booked starting next friday, so I only have to get through a week of it before I can get away from everything for a while.

    I work with the public too (I'm a vet), but I think people at work knowing is what I'll find hardest, I think if they're all sympathetic with me it will make me cry. Think I'll just text them and tell them to not mention it to me at all for a few weeks, just get on with work as if nothing's happened I think is what I need to do.

    There seem to be PG people everywhere right now don't there? I was on the way out of hosp yesterday and there was a pregnant couple carrying baby twins - that's just greedy!
  • I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I have just had my 1st mc, was confirmed on Monday. I have been off work all week. Planning to go back on Monday. Luckily no one at work knew I was pregnant. I have had to tell my boss because I was so tearful when I rang in to say I wouldn't be in. My boss has been amazing. I did ring to say I would return to work on Thursday but she told me to talk time and have the week off. I'm so glad I have had this time now as I am feeling more like myself as the days go by. I am dreading going back to work as I know everyone will ask me what has been wrong. I will just have to come up with some excuse but I'm rubbish at lying.

    I am feeling more and more positive as the days go by. Today my bleeding has stopped which has helped me as I feel I can now think about the future. Initally I could not face anyone and could'nt speak without welling up. I hope your feeling stronger as the days go by too.

    All the best xxxx
  • Hi DM just wanted to say really sorry for your loss, it is really hard, time and talking about it have made me start dealing with it, it is like a rollercoaster up 1 day and down the next, but it will start to get easier as the days pass, the girls on here have all been great, just nice to feel you have people to talk to that understand what you are going through love Luc xxx
  • went back to work yesterday, and I'm on call all weekend. I found yesterday tough, got a bit tearful a few times, luckily only when I was on my own between clients. But I was rushed off my feet all day, and soooo tired that I slept a whole lot better last night, with no dreams about scans. Today feeling less fragile, and the bleeding is slowing down, which is making me feel better about it. How's everyone else doing?
  • Gemgem I'm glad your a bit more rested, I found when the bleeding stopped it helped alot because you're without the constant reminder, hope it stops altogether for you soon.

    Generally I'm feeling better though i am still emotional at times and can still get a bit teary. Me and DH put a deposit on a new house yesterday which is due for completion May/ June next year so I've got something else to focus on thankfully.
  • Bleeding has stopped! Just have to get through the blood test at EPU on Friday, then I am off on hols. Really looking forward to just getting away it all. Just tonight on call, then one more day of work to go.
  • gemgems enjoy your holiday it'll be a well deserved rest for you both. Are you going anywhere nice?
  • Just a bit of a uk road trip. going to visit a friend near manchester, then up to edinburgh to visit granny, then me and hubby are stopping for 2 nights in york just us on way back down. Will just be nice to get away from it all. Will prob catch up with you in here or ttc when I get back. Take care of yourself.
    Gems
    xx
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