Forum home Pregnancy Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

Doesnt feel real

I had a mc a few days ago. Only found was pg by accident and thought AF was heavy. Went to gp and had scan was approx 5 weeks pg. Went from being excited at pg to numb and blaming myself for not realising in only 1 day. Been ttc for 2 months and had difficult time there(Joined babyexpert in october as had a false positive).
I also feel bad now as want to try again straight away have stopped bleeding(bled for just over 5 days, very heavy). Spotted last night and now feel very empty, can't explain my feelings to husband.
Sorry to ramble. Filo x


  • Filobabe - you are not rambling. MC is a very hard thing to deal with - regardless as to whether or not you knew you were pregnant, regarless as to how far along you were or whether or not you already have children. It is a very difficult time and I urge you to speak to your oh. I bet he is feeling pretty rubbish just now too.

    I am fortunate to have 2 beautiful daughters and fell prg by accident last yr - after struggling with whether or not it was what we wanted we decided that we wanted to keep the baby. I then had mc a 11.5 weeks in march 2006 and it devastated both myself and oh. I felt very guilty that my thots of ending the pregnancy had brought on MC but now i know that isnt true. We decided to try again in Jan 07 and I had a baby boy on 2nd Nov 07. I know that I am blessed to have 3 lovely kids but I will never forget the one I lost.

    You will find this time on your life very difficult but please know that you are not alone and that many women go thru this too. It will get easier to deal with over time and if you talk with your oh you will be able to support each other and get back to ttc when you are both ready.

    My thots are with you and hope that you feel better soon.
  • Hi Filo
    I'm sorry for your loss.
    I found talking to everyone here a real help, like you I didn't always tell my OH how I was feeling. Just write down how your feeling, theres always someone who knows how you feel & can offer support.
    It does get a little easier as the weeks go by but it never goes away, its 5mths since my MMC & I still have days when I have a cry.
    I waited for my 1st AF before trying again, I had to have a d&c as I hadn't MC naturally so I wanted to give my body a break. Alot of people try right away & get preg before 1st AF.
    I'm here if you need to talk, take care
    Helen x x
  • Filo- I think we all relate to the huge swing of emotions when you suffer a mc. It is the hardest pain and only gets easier with time. Chin up honey - we'll get there in the end xxxxx
  • Thanks everyone. The thing i'm struggling with at mo is that i want to try now, is that wrong. Feel it may help me grieve,i know i'll never forget this mc(also had one in 2004) but still long for another baby(have a 4 yr old). It makes me feel really guilty. Filo x
  • Filo - how can it be wrong to want a baby. Ok some say from a health point of view you should have an af or 2 but we all know however hard we try it'll only happen when the time is right so I decided to try again straight away too.
    If you hadn't tested you'd never have known so wouldn't be waiting would you?
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