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Going to have to join you guys :( *UPDATE*
I was 9wks yesterday and found out i've had a MMC. Unfortunately it was not an official scan as i got one of the Dr's that i work with to do it (i'm a midwife) to put my mind at ease. I've felt there's been something wrong the whole time and just thought i was being paranoid and so asked to have a secret scan at work just so i could know there was a HB and then i'd stop wittling.
Unfortunately all my fears were confirmed-the baby was very small, there was no HB and the yolk sac was enlarged indicating a failing PG. I've had no bleeding but am now a bit in limbo. No one at work knows i'm PG and it wasn't an official scan so i feel a bit stuck.
My plan is to see the GP on Mon and get referred for another scan at a different hospital because i don't think i can go through it all in my place of work with people i work with. Then hopefully a plan can be made. I know my 3 options will be 1) wait until i spontaneously MC 2) Take tablet to induce a MC or 3) Have an ERPC. Can anyone give their opinions on these from personal experience?
I'm so devestated, you make so many plans in your head don't you? You know, like how PG you'll be on holiday or at such and such's wedding/christening/party etc, what it will be like when you start telling everybody (we had only told one person), the fact we'd have a baby this xmas. All those hopes/dreams are just taken away from you.
Sorry to sound so depressing, i just feel awful today-i still feel PG but i'm not going to get my baby. And it's bloody Mother's Day.....
xXx
[Modified by: mummaJ on 23 March 2009 16:00:19 ]
Unfortunately all my fears were confirmed-the baby was very small, there was no HB and the yolk sac was enlarged indicating a failing PG. I've had no bleeding but am now a bit in limbo. No one at work knows i'm PG and it wasn't an official scan so i feel a bit stuck.
My plan is to see the GP on Mon and get referred for another scan at a different hospital because i don't think i can go through it all in my place of work with people i work with. Then hopefully a plan can be made. I know my 3 options will be 1) wait until i spontaneously MC 2) Take tablet to induce a MC or 3) Have an ERPC. Can anyone give their opinions on these from personal experience?
I'm so devestated, you make so many plans in your head don't you? You know, like how PG you'll be on holiday or at such and such's wedding/christening/party etc, what it will be like when you start telling everybody (we had only told one person), the fact we'd have a baby this xmas. All those hopes/dreams are just taken away from you.
Sorry to sound so depressing, i just feel awful today-i still feel PG but i'm not going to get my baby. And it's bloody Mother's Day.....
xXx
[Modified by: mummaJ on 23 March 2009 16:00:19 ]
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Replies
Sorry to see you joining us on this forum but I do know that you'll get great support here.
I am so sad after reading your story. It is such a horrible thing to go through and getting the physical side of things sorted is a real nightmare, I mc'd on feb 17th at 9 weeks. We knew it was most likely going to happen for a week beforehand but had to wait to see if a miracle happened. In our case the gestational sac didn't grow properly but the baby was fine. We were told to go home and see what happened for 2 weeks but to expect the worst so I was obviously devastated, but relieved that I mc'd naturally a week later.
The actual mc process wasn't bad at all. I was petrified by the idea of it happening but am glad that I was at home with hot water bottle, dh and the sofa. After bad cramping and bleeding on and off for about 18 hours all pain stopped and I had light bleeding for 5 days. It was a very quick recovery.
The emotional side was and still is the tricky bit. Like you said, I am so p**sed off that I have lost our bean and that all the plans I had made aren't gonna happen. Bloody Mothers Day doesn't help either. It does get easier though, and please keep posting on here if you ifnd it makes you feel better.
Hope this has been some help - I know when I was waiting to mc I was hungry for info the other ladies on here are great at sharing their experiences.
Hope you're holding up ok.
xxxx
Hugs. xx
Sorry to hear your news.
I mmc'd at 16 weeks, but didn't find out until my 20 week scan which was on 2 March. I had an ERPC as there was no sign that anything was going to sort itself out naturally. So I went in for the ERPC on the 4th. I was physically recovered within the week, although I am still spotting. Emotionally, is a bit different as MrsDAO said. OH and I are getting there though.
If you need any help or support over the next few weeks/months, then just shout, there are plenty of ladies on here that will do what they can for you.
Plenty of hugs.
Chocky
So sorry you've had to join us. I had a mmc at 9weeks+ a fortnight ago . I've already had two so had been referred for early scans. On my second scan it was discovered there was no heartbeat (I'd suspected this might have been the case because I'd had some discharge the day before). Me and my partner are absolutely devastated. We'd tried to stay positive, telling ourselves that we'd had our share of shit luck and that this time it was going to be different and I too had fantasised about how pregnant I was going to be at my friend's wedding in September (I'd already picked out a fabulous dress from Isobella Oliver), about telling everybody our fantastic news, about dressing baby up in little Christmas outfits etc. Now all my hopes and dreams have come to a halt again.
On all three occassions I've opted for option 2. First time and this time I had no pain whatsoever. Second time I had horrendous pains (the nurse said it was like being in labour) but I'm glad I went for this option. I wanted to see my babies and found that spending that precious time with them really helped. It gave me the time to tell him/her how much mammy and daddy loved them and how precious there are to us and that some day I know they'll come back to me when I eventually have a child.
My scan was on the Monday, I was admitted into hospital on the Friday and discharged later that same day (although on the previous two occassions I never passed the placenta so had to take the tablets for the second day and eventually had to go to theatre on the third day). I've had bleeding all week but it's now very light.
My emotions are still all over the place. Some days I feel like I'm coping and I'm trying to stay positive for the future, other days I feel like a robot - just barely functioning. Yesterday I had a really crap day, crying throughout the day, feeling really p***ed off and today being Mother's Day I feeling just as bad. I'll get there in the end though.
I hope everything goes okay for you, x
I'm actually scared right now as i don't want to go through any of the options i just want my baby and i'm also scared that i may not conceive again, that maybe this was my only chance. I thought it was too good to be true that i managed to conceive on the 2nd cycle of trying. Feeling very negative but hopefully that will change. I guess it's very early days. Part of me doesn't want to let this baby go and the other part just wants it all over and done with so we can move on.
I feel very lost.
If It's ok i'll keep you guys posted cos i'm sure i'll have so many more Q's.
Thanks again xXx
Sending you lots of hugs xx
I'm so sorry you are joining us here, but welcome. Everyone is really supportive and understanding.
I'm really sorry to hear about your loss.
I've had 3 mc's and let all of them happen naturally. The first one was a very long process and I was bleeding for around 8 weeks in total but the other 2 were much quicker with less than a week of bleeding. Each mc is different, as is each women. I know it's a very difficult to decision to make but I hope that whichever you choose that the physical process is over quickly for you so you can concentrate on your emotional healing.
Let us know how things are going and remember we're always here to listen.
You are in my thoughts.
Take care, NN xxx
That was all back in september and I'm now pregnant again ( 8+2 and SOO scared, scan tommorow) but I'm still hurting enough about last time to want to keep reading this forum, It comforts me to know I'm not alone. You too will feel more normal one day, but it's a new normal. I'll never be quite the same and I'll always think of my little lost baby.
Hope you find a route that you can live with. xx
That was all back in september and I'm now pregnant again ( 8+2 and SOO scared, scan tommorow) but I'm still hurting enough about last time to want to keep reading this forum, It comforts me to know I'm not alone. You too will feel more normal one day, but it's a new normal. I'll never be quite the same and I'll always think of my little lost baby.
Hope you find a route that you can live with. xx
I have had one miscarriage at 6-7 weeks and a mmc at 12 and half i opted for an erpc and i am so glad i did as i don't think i could have coped with doing it naturally. The NHS doctor,nurses and anethistists*sp* were all really lovely (way nicer than the private surgery we used for our scans) and it helped bring some closure!
Whatever you choose we are here and i am sending you a hug and thinking of you at what is a difficult time!
Love Rena x
Just to update you i had my 'official' scan this morning which confirmed Saturday's findings, so that's definitely it.....all over.
Still no bleeding so decided on an ERPC which is being done on Weds. Decided to have it done at the hospital i work at-realised that at least i know i'll get good care. They were all lovely (except the Dr that scanned me who could barely raise eye contact and couldn't answer any of my Q's cos she was in too much of a hurry as her clinic was running late-wanted to say "so sorry for taking up your time-not"). One of the consultants that knows me well came to talk to me and is going to do the procedure so i guess that's some reassurance for me.
Feel numb today, haven't really cried, would just like to go to bed, curl up and not get out till tomorrow.
Wish me luck xXx
P.S Congrats Secret Me on your current PG-you must be very pleased but anxious-i really hope it all works out well for you this time, i'm sure it will xXx
You'll be in my thoughts.
Take care, NN xx
I wanted to let things happen naturally but body showed no sign of that after 2 weeks so opted for medical management took a tablet last wednesday with no effect and was admitted on Friday for final part of medical management - i had 3 lots of pessaries inserted after 3 hours apart which they said was the maximum dose....cervix was still closed after first dose, second lot i had lots of pain and bleeding and passed a few largish clots and thought that was it starting off 3rd lot however did nothing - the pain started to die down and the bleeding and i was sent home.
I have a scan tomorrow to see if the baby is still there which i know it must be as i havent passed anything resembling a sack (though im not 100% sure i would kno given that i dont know what i am looking for) and i will have to have a d&c later on this week. I really didnt want that it was important to me to see what was happening and 'pass' my baby as i thought it would help me move on im also now extrememely worried about the ERPC and possible risks e.g damage to the womb, risk of infection, possible need for further erpc.
Only you can decide what is right for you when the time comes but with medical management apparantly its only effective in about 80% of cases and many like me go through it all (and it is traumatic so i can only imagine how much more traumatic and painful it must be if you actually succesfully pass the pregnancy)and stil need the erpc so i think thats teh right decision for you and at least you wil be where you know that you will recieve good care and that you know the surgeon.
As much as i dont want the erpc i am hoping mine can be done quite quick e.g Wed or Thu but i'll have to see what they say tomorrow as i just want it 'over with' now (the physical part i mean the emotional side of things will be a lot harder to deal with as i will never forget this little one.
Good Luck and i hope everything goes as best as it can now.
Thinking of You
Lx
I hope everything goes ok for you today.
Thinking of you.
Chocky
Lx