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Feel horrible today

I am feeling really low and lonely today. I don't know why as I have people around me who are great so I shouldn't be feeling like this!!
I just feel tired and have that 'I can't be bothered' attitude. I am really glad I have been signed off work for longer as my heart is just not in it at the moment and I really don't want to be there.
I am feeling more upset today than I have since they told us. I think its a bit of a delayed reaction and it is only just hitting me properly. Its so unfair that these things happen and I keep thinking why me? Was it something I did? I just feel like crying today.
Sorry to go on I just really needed it to write it down as I find it quite difficult to talk to people about how I am feeling.

S

Replies

  • Hi S

    Sorry you are feeling so low today. You are right, it's not fair. But no, it wasn't anything you did. Sadly these things happen even when we follow ALL the rules and look after ourselves and babies as much as you can. It's so sad and makes me feel so angry at times.

    I think it's completely normal for it to take a while to sink in - it's a huge shock after all. You go through so many emotions and can swing from feeling 'ok' one minute to a complete mess the next. And I think it's difficult to start grieving and dealing with the emotional side of things when you're still going through the physical process.

    With my last mc it really hit me a week after I lost the baby - I thought I was doing quite 'well' until then. I also noticed with my 1st and last mc that I felt REALLY low at around 6 weeks after...I think it may be partly hormonal though as I was ov'ing for the first time around 6 weeks after both and I guess it was partly to do with my hormones trying to get back to normal. It's so difficult because we don't just have the emotional pain but all these hormones flying around too!

    It's good that you're having more time off work though - it's so easy to just push yourself to carry on and try to ignore the pain. And if you feel like crying, just cry - it's so much better for you to let it all out.

    It does feel strange that you can feel so lonely despite being surrounded by loving and supportive people but I completely understand that. I guess those around you may not have been through a mc so can't completely understand or even if they have this is still only happening to YOU right now (obviously your OH too but not physically) and was your baby, not theirs.

    Anyway, will stop rambling now! ;\)

    Hope you're feeling a bit better soon. It takes time.

    Take care, love NN xxx
  • Oh sweetie, i am so sorry to hear that.

    Well, all i can tell you that we get to have some good days and we get to have some horrible days. My best friend had 3 miscarriages and once she found out about my miscarriage she just disappeared, and i felt so so lonely, she then told me that seeing me go through this reminded her of all the pain.
    As i always say, keep your OH near to you, and talk to him and talk to us we are always here for each other, and have faith in yourself that you will get better, just dont rush yourself.

    You are in my thoughts hun
    Love
    Renee x
  • Oh my goodness these emotions are crazy!! Lovely posts , I sat there nearly crying as I was reading them!!
    Im finding it really hard at the moment as I get so emotional to the point where I can feel the tears in my eyes but i just cannot for some reason cry, even though I want to!!
    Why can't I cry? I think I have only cried once since it happened and I feel terrible that im not crying for my baby.
    I have a feeling that its going to come soon though and im just not going to be able to stop!

    S
    xxx
  • I tried to reply yesterday, but BE ate it!!

    Everyone is different, and the way we individually deal with these horrible things is different.

    Don't feel bad for not crying, it doesn't mean you are feeling this any less. If the flood gates open, don't fight it. If you don't cry that's ok too.

    I felt tearful a lot of the time, but it was when I was driving or watching tv. But I didn't always cry, it just felt like I was about to. xx
  • I hope you are feeling a bit better today and please don't feel it is anything you did or didn't do it is a sad and unfair fact of life and it was nothing you did it is just not fair!
    I am thinking of you and sending you lot's of hugs and want you to know you are not alone!
    Love Rena x x
  • Mithical- I know everyone deals with it in different ways and thats how they cope. I did have a really good cry last night but it was only after I found myself laughing which I havent done in a while and I felt so guilty afterwards for laughing that it made me cry!! These hormones eh? Hope you are ok. x

    Rena- Thankyou, I know deep down that there was nothing more I could have done but sometimes I still find myself doubting that and thinking if only I had done this or not done that. But things cant be changed now and thats what I find hard, that it is something completley out of my control. I hope everything is ok with you.

    S
    xxx
  • Hi Deb,

    That is exactly how I feel. I feel I can come on here and say what I want without people thinking I am a complete nutter or not making any sense because everyone knows exactly how you are feeling and what you are going through!
    How are you getting on with hubby, and are you feeling any better today?
    Im not feeling great today, didn't get much sleep last night and still feel really low and depressed.
    I have started writing a blog (an idea I got from Natty Nick) and it really does help!! I really struggle with telling people how I feel and sort of hold back the complete truth, so writing this blog really helps as I can say exactly what I want to say (A bit like here, just with no replies??!!)

    I hope you are taking care of yourself

    S
    xxx
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