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Just doesnt seem fair...

Hey
Im new on here i was expecting my 2nd set of twins on Oct 1st but i was dated a week later at my scan so i was 12+3 when i lost my twins yesterday! I cant believe this has happened im healthy and i did what i could it was so sudden and im not sure i quite accept wat has happened now! I shouldnt have too!!
People have said i shudnt be so sad as i have twins already who are 15mnth! They are beautiful and are giving me strength but that doesnt mean i loved my bambinos less!!
It would have been my partners first kids and he is distraught just wants to try again straight away and i now he isnt being insensitive but at the same time im oo scared to even think of that yet!
They have asked me if i want to attend a memorial at the end of the month but i dont know if i can!!
Does that make me a bad mother not wanting to remeber my babies??
I dont know what they will do to my babies and i dont know if i want too either....:/
I cried all thorugh the night and i am now just numb and so tired but i can not sleep! I passed the twins at 10pm last night.......will i ever feel better??
How do i explain to my girls what has happened as they new mammy was going to have more babies?? We told the family on mothers day and 2 short days later here we are mourning our angels the speed of it seems just unreal image
Any help, support, advice greatly rcieved....
Eve, Ella, Ruby & My 2 Angels xxxx

Replies

  • I'm so sorry to read this hon.
    My heart goes out to you and your partner and your 2 little girls.
    I know it may not feel like it now but you will feel better.
    Keep posting and if this forum is quiet, go on over to ttc after mc - tehy are lovely.
    sending you lots of love
    xxxxx
  • I'm sorry for all that you are going through- all I can offer is sympathy and understanding as I found out on Thursday at my scan that my baby had died too. Like you, it just feels unfair and I still feel numb. I am stil waiting for mine to come out and am dreading it.

    Of course you are grateful for the children that you already have - I have 3 other children too but it doesn't make you mourn the ones you've lost any less.

    However you feel about the ones you have lost isn't wrong - we had a burial for my 2 previous mc and it really helps us to visit the grave once a year but everyone is different. My friend lost twins the same time I had my last mc and she didn't feel the need to have any sort of memorial for them.
    Also, although it is obviously a joint decision, don't feel pressurised into trying again until you are ready. My way of dealing with my 1st mc was to get pregnant straight away then I had another mc and tried again straight away resulting in my wonderful daughter.

    Since I have found out about losing this one I know that I have really focussed on the children that I do have which has helped me.

    Hope some of this helps - and that you're not alone at this awful time going through this horrible loss xx
  • Thank you for sharing that i dont really want to go to the memorial but at the end of the day i wont not go if Sam wants to go you know! But i dont feel i need a service to remember i will remember them always! I think Sam's way of dealing is to try again asap and it will probly end up like that just im worried.....in case it happens again as this feeling is awful!! xxx
  • I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through.

    You're not alone though hun - we're here if you need us. I've found this forum to be really helpful when I've had my bad days (and there've been a few!).

    ((((big hugs))))
  • I'm sorry to hear what you have been going through.

    Big hugs to you xx
  • Oh gosh Hun, I'm so sorry. Although I'm no longer in DIO I've been keeping an eye on you all and was keeping update about you as one of your twins has been poorly.

    I'm so so sorry sweetie, I know that no words can make you feel at all better. I'm sending you so many hugs and the only advice I can give is to take the day an hour at a time - the range of emotions you go through after a mc is massive and you'll probably find that you chnage your mind about things time and time again.

    Although you're not TTC yet, I would come over to TTC after mc/ectopic as it's a busier forum then here and is also full of women who have been through similar expereinces and I can truly say that I dod not believe I would have got through either of my mc wihtout the support from the lovely ladies on there.

    Again, lots and lots of hugs to you at this awful time

    xxx
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