my mc story
Hi, i just wanted to tell my story to the people who understand what I'm going through. Me and my husband had only just started ttc in feb. i only came off the pill beginning dec and had 1 af since in jan. when i thought my feb af was due it never came so i did a test and was bfn. we then went on hol end of feb and i kept doing tests (foreign ones) but still bfn and still no af. i didnt drink alcohol and was careful about what i ate just incase as i thought maybe i just didnt understand the foreign tests (they r diff to ones in uk), but anyway to cut a long story short when we got back from hol i went to docs who did a test and it was positive!! because my lmp was in jan they estimated that i was about 7-8 weeks so at about 10-11 weelks i went for a scan only to be told that i was only about 6 wks and it wasnt progressing well, i was told to expect to miscarry. one nurse was going to book an app for the next day to rescan to confirm it and probably book me in for a dc. i said i wanted to leave it a wk just incase it did develop, so we went in a wk later and there had been some slight progression but they stil said expect to miscarry. i was very confused as my pregnancy symptoms had been getting stronger and stronger. after finding a website about misdiagnosed mc's i felt positive that things were ok, so we decided to change hospitals, the doc there said my hcg levels were good and that id just been scanned early, so after that we were even more positive and decided to wait a few weeks to have another scan to give the baby chance to grow. the app was for yesterday but i started to lightly spot and had slight cramps since monday so i was worried but still had slight hope because ive been told many people do bleed. however the scan showed that the baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks. i really thought that things would be ok esp as i was getting syptoms!! i was told i can have a dc but as the bleeding has got heavier today i think im just going to let it happen naturally as i think that should be best for my body. esp as the nurse said the dc is a blind operation and theres a slight chance they could damage inside. what does evryone else think? how long can it take naturally? i just want it all to be over now and my cycle to re-start so we can start ttc again. been told that its best to wait for 2 af so u know what your cycles like. ive read different things and some people say its best to wait at least 3 months (3af's) to give your body a chance to recover but then some said they ttc straightaway. id just be so scared for the first 12 weeks next time that itd happen again. ive even subscribed to the baby mag and dont know weather i should cancel that now? thanks for reading! sorry its so long! x
[Modified by: twist_twirl on 01 May 2008 17:23:03 ]
[Modified by: twist_twirl on 01 May 2008 17:23:03 ]
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Replies
sorry to hear about your loss.
i had a mmc naturally. started spotting on the monday and mc was diagnosed weds. then in the middle of the night on thurs i was having labour pains and was admitted to hospital. I lost the baby at 7am on the friday morning. The baby was born in the pregnancy sack and in total it was about 7cm long.
i had chosen to mc naturaly as i didn't want to feel guilty for getting rid of my baby
whatever you choose to take care and take plenty of time to grieve.
xx
My mc was 6 weeks ago now. got first af after 5 weeks. i have finally managed to go a whole week at work without crying about it so finally starting to feel more positive about things. i should have been 12 weeks last weekend and i was very down then but getting af has really helped (and may have been so sad cos of PMT too) probably won't start ttc until after next af by which time i'll be almost 3 months since mc. at least now i know i could try if i wanted to and that's made things easier. my gp said to wait at least 3 months to make sure emotionally ready but that's too long for me. i was stressed enough b4 things went bad so i can't possibly be worse next time!
Big hugs
Spark
So sorry to hear your bad news. I've just been through something very similar - had spotting at seven weeks and an early scan showed poor growth. A week later, it seemed to be making better progress but last weekend I began passing red blood and a third scan this Thursday showed there was no longer a heartbeat. The foetus was still there, fully intact, just silent and lifeless in the sac.
On the advice of my doctor I went for a D&C, partly because I was very scared of the physical aspect of going through with a miscarriage and partly because he said that it's not uncommon for women to need a D&C anyway afterwards. He also mentioned that, although it was likely to happen imminently, it could take up to a month for nature to take its course.
I felt that leaving the baby inside me for what could be weeks would only add to the anguish so I had the operation yesterday.
Of course it's for everyone to decide what they want to do but I can honestly say it was for me personally, in the midst of a terribly upsetting situation, a very positive experience. The nurses were incredibly compassionate, the operation itself was so quick, and I woke up feeling very little pain. Within 30 minutes the tiny cramping had gone, and last night I was already passing far less blood than I had been before.
I'd had two horrible weeks of feeling totally out of control and out of sorts, but within a few hours of the operation I felt back to normal physically, albeit it not mentally. That's going to take time.
Luc, I read your comment about not wanting to feel guilty about getting rid of the baby, and I totally respect that, but my own feeling was that having a d&c was not going to make any difference to the outcome - my baby was gone and my body would need to expel it one way or another. I guess some people want to wait because it feels more final, like there's more closure. And maybe I'm a coward but I just couldn't bear the physical pain adding to the emotional pain.
I'm so glad I went for the op and I didn't have to face up to going through a full miscarriage, but I think you just have to do what feels right for you.
All the best
xxx