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off to see dr this morning
Posted : Sep 11, 2009 8:12:51 AM Subject : off to see the dr this morning hi girls hope your all well.
i have made appt to see mr dr this morning for a chat about how im feeling.....
im having terrible trouble concentrating on the simplest of tasks at work(im a senior carer)and have started to make mistakes which im worried will become bigger mistakes,i cocked up yesterday with a resisidents tablets!!
I have felt "low" for a couple of weeks now..i dont feel depressed but am dreading october 16th coming as thats when bean would have been due.....i had a back up plan and that was to be pregnant by then ,but im not so i feel even worse.....my husband thinks i have put this date in my mind to grieve and i cant until it passes.
i just keep crying all the time,i still love my job,but i dont feel like me,i feel like im someone else looking at me from a corner and laughing at my mistakes......i feel so tired and cannot sleep.
i spoke to mt lead clinical nurse yesterday and shes worriedd about me,she thinks i need time off,but i dont like being away from work for long as dont like being out of the loop...she has also offered to take me off my senior duties in the am and ask me to shadow the new staff to check thier nursing standards are up to scratch,then put me back on my senior duties in the afternoon,to take soem pressure off me,i like the sound of this but worried i will cock this up too,i feel a failure really,cant keep babies and no good at my job at the moment,and my marrige is showing the strain...hubbys not well im trting to support him too......
im trying to be strong for my best friend whos husband had beeen diagnosed with terminal cancer,hes only 40....so im helping her lots and having trouble keeping a stiff lip.
sorry for rambling...as i had to get it out..feel like im going mad!!
also posted in TTC
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i have made appt to see mr dr this morning for a chat about how im feeling.....
im having terrible trouble concentrating on the simplest of tasks at work(im a senior carer)and have started to make mistakes which im worried will become bigger mistakes,i cocked up yesterday with a resisidents tablets!!
I have felt "low" for a couple of weeks now..i dont feel depressed but am dreading october 16th coming as thats when bean would have been due.....i had a back up plan and that was to be pregnant by then ,but im not so i feel even worse.....my husband thinks i have put this date in my mind to grieve and i cant until it passes.
i just keep crying all the time,i still love my job,but i dont feel like me,i feel like im someone else looking at me from a corner and laughing at my mistakes......i feel so tired and cannot sleep.
i spoke to mt lead clinical nurse yesterday and shes worriedd about me,she thinks i need time off,but i dont like being away from work for long as dont like being out of the loop...she has also offered to take me off my senior duties in the am and ask me to shadow the new staff to check thier nursing standards are up to scratch,then put me back on my senior duties in the afternoon,to take soem pressure off me,i like the sound of this but worried i will cock this up too,i feel a failure really,cant keep babies and no good at my job at the moment,and my marrige is showing the strain...hubbys not well im trting to support him too......
im trying to be strong for my best friend whos husband had beeen diagnosed with terminal cancer,hes only 40....so im helping her lots and having trouble keeping a stiff lip.
sorry for rambling...as i had to get it out..feel like im going mad!!
also posted in TTC
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Replies
well believe it or not the dr says i have post-natal depression!!
i refused antidepressants and hes given me 2 weeks off,he wants to see me then and if im still feeling the same or worse he wants me to stop TTC for a while and go on short course of anti depressants.....i refused both of course.
i have doen nothing but cry this morning,at the drs,on the way home,when i rang my boss and she told me she was thinking of me and was upset herself...and when i was hanging out the washing......i dont think i even cried this much when i had my MMC in march.
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thanks for listening
I'm no Dr, and this is all new to me but it may well be post-natal depression. Our bodies can react differently with hormones and this might be your response to the mmc. If you don't want to take medication then maybe you could find something else to help you through this time? have you thought about talking to a counsellor?? just a thought, especially if you have so many other stressful things going on in your life...
Try to look after yourself Claire I really hope you have find your 'thing' to help you through this.
Big hugs xxxx
Im really sorry that your feeling like this my heart is aching for you hun but am glad you have been to your GP for support.
I agree with Kathy about maybe talking to someone, I think it may help. Our bodies are a strange thing and with all the hormones & change from being pg & then losing our babies it's a big thing to have to adjust to. Were preparing to be new mothers & our body is sending out maternal instincts & then without our control it's taken away so suddenly, that takes alot of adjusting to & can take a while. I think that with your due date looming & the feeling of not being pg does really eat away at you it did for me but I really hope that once 16th comes round your be able to feel some peace. I really feel for you hun & really understand how you are feeling everything you've said in one way or another echoes alot of how I feel. If you ever need anything or just a chat or to offload please please feel free to email me or post on here.
Sending you lots of love & hugs xxx
just wanted to see how you were doing xxx
have had ok day today been to carboot with my little boy,and cooked a nice supper tonight,had sleep this afternoon on the sofa while hubby washed the cars.
thank you for asking after me,its nice to know you both care,aswell as others here.
Luc,we have pulled out of the cottage,she wanted 20k more than we could afford and i dont think we need the extra stress,so im glad in a way.
we had a lovely night last night,few drinks and followed this with some rather passionate BDing! which took me by suprise!
xxxxxxx
Im so happy to read your message you sound like you had a really nice day hun. Your such a lovely person I hate the thought of you feeling so down. Passionate bding is the way forward LOL you probably both felt a little more relaxed perfect for baby making without even thinking about it.
I noticed you posted about vit B6 in ttc when you say for hormones are you wanting this to help you feel a bit better?? I've got my gynae nxt tues so will happily pick there brains with some extra questions if you want xxxx
yes im taking vit b6 to help me feel a bit better,wonder how long it will take?yes please could you ask for me?how long does it take to feel better?can i continue it if i get pregnant?
i had a wobble earlier,i suggested to hubby going to blackpool in october for the illuminations as ive always wanted to go and take my son too,he said this would be lovely what date was i thinking of?i said 16th october as i wanted to be busy on this day......he just stormed off saying he didnt want that date to be differant from any others in the week.......he said friday that why am i so hung up on this date?bean was due on that date but he said bean could have been late or early so that date doesnt matter just march 17th 2009 matters as thats when we lost bean.......im shocked to be honest....i ahv booked this day off from work and wanted to do something to remember bean by,but doesnt look like hubby will book time off or even aknowledge this day!
im on day 11 today and havent even got a high on my CBFM yet........as im so stressed i wonder if i will OV altho im trying not to getv stressed as really want to OV so that we can try and get PG before oct!!
how are you hunny?how are you coping?xxxxxxx
I dont know what to say hun I know men can be really uptight with there feelings & sometimes want to try & move on or not dwell on something as they put it but there has to be some sort of meet in the middle or he couldve i suppose been a little more tactful in how he approached it rather than shouting at you.
Is he feeling a little stressed out at the moment? My oh would always say that he would never forget Jan 5 as that was when I had erpc but I remember 29th Dec our 12wk scan & 14th July our due date. My oh knew when our due date was approaching but he didnt really want to have to much focus on it so I spent the day to myself reflecting having a cry & remembering our bubs. Maybe as much as you want to do something together he has a date that is his to remember quietly & you'll have yours to remember. I think these dates mean more to us.
I hate saying this but you do need to try & take it easy hun maybe you could both do with having a good chat about how your both feeling so that it eleviates some of the stress your feeling at the moment. I know how much you want to get pg before the due date we somehow think it will make it easier maybe if you can find some peace for your little one you will start to feel a little better.
Im having up & down days I had a cry the other day you know what im like with crying I can talk about how I feel but I find it hard to cry!! Im still hurting & feel empty but I feel like some days I can cope better. I think having a new nephew has helped but makes me ache for our own even more. I dont want to sound like a crazy woman but he's 4 wks old & I have never felt so much love it feels so natural & I feel so comfortable with him, I just want to get pg with a sticky one & have our baby with us in our arms I've got so much love & maternal feelings that it's killing me I dont know what to do with it all!!! xxxxxx
we are talking but we had a blip last week and it sent hubby an e mail explaining why i felt so rubbish..can i forward it to you for you to read?
i ahev no friends that have been through this so cant talk to anyone,and my best friend is just about coping herself at the moment as her hubby has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and has a year at most to live,so i have been busy supporting her and her family so try not to talk too much to her about my worrries.
xxx
hope you can make sense of it!thank you very much for your kind offer i will bear it in mind.......where abouts do you live?
xxx
im in Worthing xxx
you can reply here or by e mail lovey.
have you got a facebook account?xxxx
CRYSTAL PALACE,i have heard of it but never been there xxxx
You've just opened up to how you feel which you should be able to do & given him an explanation as to why you feel the way you do. Could he maybe feel guilty that it hasnt happened yet or guilty about the mc we have feelings of guilt in greif so I wonder if he is too and he maybe thinks the easiest way is too shut out the feelings rather than deal with them head on? xx