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missed miscarriage - very scared


Hope you don't mind but I just need to get this off my chest and ask for help/advice...

After 15 months of trying, HB and I were over the moon when i got BPF in December. I had some bleeding early Jan and was told everything was fine following scan but 3 weeks later I bled again and I have now been told I have a missed miscarriage.

To be honest, the way we were handled at the hospital was awful, the nurses showed no compassion as I sobbed my heart out and pushed me to make a decision re nature or D&C. Having just been told that my 9 week preganancy actually ended just after 6 weeks was heartbreaking and I was furious that we were expected to decide how to 'dispose' of the pregnancy within 10 minutes of being told there was no heartbeat.

HB and I decided to book D&C for a weeks time to allow us time to think and then I could always cancel the appointment if I changed my mind and decided to let nature take its course.

That was Monday, since then I have slowly been getting more and more bleeding - some of which appears dark clots - but it is still not heavy enough for a pad - a pantyliner is doing the job still at the moment (sorry TMI!)

I am very scared at the thought of 'flushing' the 'baby' down the toilet and have decided that i want the operation. I have been trying to reach the hospital on the number given for the last 3 days but they are not returning any of my messages. This is concerning me because its the same number that you have to phone for post operative care following the D&C - what are you supposed to do post op if they are not returning your calls!!!

Sorry for the rambling, it helps to put all this in writing. I have only really cried for a few hours and to be honest I don't think it has really sunk in properly. I can't understand why else i am being so 'matter of fact' about the whole thing. I just want it out so that I can move on.

Does anyone know how long it takes for the body to reject the fetus once you start bleeding if nature does take its course? I am scared that it will come out naturally before the operation next Weds and hence i am scared to leave the house!

Sorry and thanks for listening to me ramble.


  • oh muppet - i am so sorry - i cannot believe this is happening to you. I have no advice on the bleeding side of things - i had mmc at approx 10 weeks and had an erpc (d&c) two days later.

    Keep trying again tomorrow and if you cannot get hold of them then maybe drive there and demand some attention.

    Will be thinking of you and hope that all goes smoothly next week. If you have any questions about erpc then just ask.

    Lots of love

    Sarah x x
  • aww hun so sorry 2 hear this!!

    i miscarried at 6 weeks and it was heartbreaking especially to let out your emotions to the nurses at the hospital is also hard. i let it happen naturally as it came before the scan i needed to check if my little bean was still there. to be honest it was a horrible feeling when i saw it and i didnt know what to do. i would advise the D&c But thats just my opinion hun...

    hope u feel better soon so sorry youve had to go through this horrible thing.

    Lotsa Love x x x x x
  • hi muppet ii had a scan on the 7th and was told id had my 2nd mmc when i went over to the womens ward to book my erpc i was told id have to wait untill the 12th i was terrified the girls on here were gr8 and wen i said to the doc about not wanting to bleed and see the baby he reasured me that there would not be any thing that was rconisable as a baby at that stage of preg good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • hi

    so sorry to hear what your going through!

    i had a mmc at 12 weeks although baby died at 6/7 weeks. i let it happen naturally but wish i didnt, it was was extremely painful and i ended up in hospital having an operation while i was awake! it was very destressing! id definatly get a D&C if i had to go through it again, thats just my opinion...could you go on the hospital website and find another phone number?

    ashy x
  • I am so sorry you are having to go through this.I had s mmc in August where the baby had also died at 6 weeks.I started to bleed on the sunday and passed the 'baby' at home on the Thursday.I must agree with ashy that it was an awful experience and if you can get in to have the op than do that.My thoughts are with you at this horrible time,Nikki xx
  • Hi muppet, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know how you are feeling. I had an ERCP yesterday, we went for out 12 week scan, and found the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks.

    I really couldn't have faced a natural of hormone induced mc.

    I would try the gynae ward or the EPU if you have one near you. Explain you are having trouble getting through to the number you have been given. Failing that go through the hospital switchboard and ask for another number, of for them to put you through.

    I really hope you can get hold of them, as someone else said...otherwise turn up there.

    Thinking of you. xx
  • Hiya

    Thanks for all your advice. I am so sorry that you have all been through this too.

    Have a docs app today so am going to insist they make contact with the hospital whilst I am in there. The pain is getting worse and I really don't want to let it carry on naturally.

    thanks again

  • Hope they can get in contact for you. Let us know how it goes. Good luck hun. xx
  • hope the hospital sort it out for you! take care

    ashy x
  • Muppet- I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss and that my thoughts are with you and your OH.

    I don't have any advice to give you but when I was told MC was inevitable at 5 1/2 wks I had to wait 3 days for it to start properly and they were the hardest 3 days of it all. I think getting them to sort out the erpc is the best option.
    Take care
    Love, Kiz xx
  • Hi Muppet,
    Am really sorry to hear about your mmc - it's just the worst experience...

    Anyway, if you haven't had any joy already I would go to the hospital an insist on an emergency procedure. Once I had decided to have the ERPC done I went to the hospital the next morning (I didn't have anything to eat or drink all night) and once I told them I wanted it done they set the wheels in motion. They did warn me I might have to wait as It would be an emergency but I was prepared to sit it out and thankfully it was the best option for me.

    Noone can describe what it feels like to know you are carrying your little baby that's 'gone' - it's just awful. I know it's the worst time but you will have to stand up to them or try another hospital if possible.

    All the best.

    Shell xx
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