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Don't know what to do

i had a mc about two months ago, i think about my lil baba every second of the day and i have no idea how im going to move on. i haven't really spoke to anyone about it, just my boyfriend, but he's in the same place as me and neither of us know what to do. We want to try again, they only thing that is stopping us is that im absolutely terrified, i don't think i could go through any of that again. I just feel lost and don't know where to go now.

Replies

  • Hi - BIG HUGS. I had a mmc 2 months ago and I feel like I am thinking about it all the time and I have very sad moments. I only talk to DH about it cos no one else mentions it anymore so I don't feel I can talk to anyone else.
    We are TTC at the mo and I think I might be pregnant again (going to test thursday as AF due on Friday) and I am excited but sooo scared. So I know how you feel about being scared to get pregnant again. I am not sure how I would cope if it happened again.
    use this forum - everyone is lovely and you realise that mc's happen to other ppl too and you all go thro the same emotions.
  • Hi laura it is so awful what you are going through i know as i have had 4 mc in a row, you start to think you are never going to have a healthy baby, but what you need to remember every pg is diff and every thing happens for a reason.
    But please dont let it stop you trying again i am now 13+6 weeks pg and i just take every day as it comes but it dosent stop me worrying. I hope every thing works out for you and just stay positive xx
  • Hey Laura, I had my MC 5 weeks ago tomorrow and I do think about my little angel so much and bought a bracelet to wear which comforts me.

    I have moments where I think I am OK and generally back to 'me' - this is usually in the week but then it gets to the weekend and I go a bit down hill and hit the booze and generally become a bit emotional - think weekends at mo are just connected with thinking about the MC!!!!

    My AF came on Tuesday which had been looking forward too (for once!!) as meant could TTC again (though like you am scared!!) but it also came on the day which should have been the 12 week scan and this hit me for six........but then I took it as a sign that everything is going to be alright and maybe this was my little angel's way of telling me this and that I am ready to TTC and move on?!
    Not sure!! But am going with that PMA for now image

    What I guess I am trying to say is as much as I want to TTC again, like you I am absolutley terrified of it going wrong and not being able to cope with another MC but it will be OK (I keep telling myself!!) - got to have faith!!! And posts like Caliren34 who has had 4 MCs, which I just can't imagine how awful that would be, but she has now go on and is 13+wks pregnant - which is great and posts like that and from the other girls keeps me going.

    Its hard, don't think you'll lose the terrified feeling but it will be OK and we're all here to support each other when times get low......

    big hugs to you xxxxx
  • Hi hun. my miscarriage was also 8 weeks ago. some days i manage to get through, others i dont. no sign of me falling pregnant just yet which i also find hard. dont be expecting too much of yourself and do take it a bit at a time. i planted a holly bush called angel (holly was the name we had chose if it was a girl). i found this helped me to have somewhere to focus.
    as i am sure everyone is in our situation is anxious but i just want to wish you luck for a quick and easy pregnancy. keep your chin up if you can x x x
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a mmc in January and am now pg again.

    It does help to talk about things, and this forum is fantastic for support. If you are feeling it, chances are someone else has too.

    You are grieving, which is obviously natural. You go through all the same stahes as with any bereavement.

    I placed a forget-me-not in the miscarriage awareness meadow, on their website. I also bought a little teddy, with Little Angel written on it.

    Perhaps you might find it helpful to do something like that, get something to remember your bean. Some have planted flowewrs etc.

    I was really scared at the beginning of this pg, especially as I had some spotting. But I have had 3 scans, and all is well image

    Please keep talking to people, and perhaps consider getting a little rememberance, it all helps in the long run. xx

    11 weeks
  • He hun.

    Miscarrying is hard, whatever and whenever it happens. I had a mc in Jan. I was only 5 + 5 but felt like id been pregnant forever. I had hopes and dreams for the bean growing inside me. When I started bleeding I didnt know how to cope and threw myself back into living life. I went back to work 2 days later and kept it quiet and disappeared into the toilets 2 or 3 times a day for a cry.

    My main fear was having af again. I was petrified that af would come as it would remind me of what I had lost. I know that everyone feels different about this but this was how I felt.

    We began trying straight away as getting pg made me realise how desperate we were for a baby. Thankfully, I got pg straight away and am now expecting twin boys. I bled for 4 weeks of this pregnancy and have had things quite tough but I cant wait to welcome my boys into the world.

    Its good to talk. Hubby really suffered through my mc, more than me in some ways as I knew how I felt but he didnt knwo what to do. My mum wanted me to 'get over it' so I eneded up spending most of my spare time on here. It really helped.

    Give yourself time to grieve. Sending you lots of love.

    Gemma xxx
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