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Its good to talk.

Hi, I hope everyone's feeling ok.

Its nearly 7wks since I found out I had a mmc. I had a little brown spotting at 11wks 2dys so was sent for a scan to reasure me!
They could see 2 sacs but no babies, the sacs measured 8wks. I had to wait 1 wk & go back for another scan. I decided to have pessaries to help me mc but that didn't work so in the end had a d&c. It was a really hard weekend as I ended up spending 3dys in hosp.

Its been a very hard few mths, I didn't want to leave the house the first 2wkss but it has got a little better as the wks have gone by.
I'v just had my first AF & feel I want to try again. I feel for me its the best way to cope, I know it'll be stressful but I guess it is no matter how long its been.

Its been a great help being on this site, I never realised how many people have mc's, its helped to know how people cope & that people do go on to have babies.

Wishing everyone all the best
Love Helen x x

Replies

  • Hey Helen...how you been?? Looking forward to going back to school?? I am not but keep thinking that being busy will help and give me something to focus on other than ttc!!!

    With any luck it will happen soon and I can look forward to maternity leave! Terrible how we wish our lives away.

    How do you feel about ttc?? We have been 'hard' at it this month but trying to remind myself that just because I got pregnant straight away last time doesn t mean it will be easy this time, but it is so hard to just relax and not stress!!!

    Have you had to do any work this holiday for school?? I have given myself a complete summer off as felt I deserved it and can not believe how quickly it has gone.

    Love Sian XX
  • Good luck trying helen x x x
  • Hi Sian
    I'm a bit nervous about going back as I havn't seen anyone from work since mc so I dont know what to expect.
    Its been 7wks for me I cant believe how quick its gone, it doesn't take long to get back into it though. I havn't had anything to do over hols, go in on mon for inset so prob have lots to do.

    I should ov next week so we'll see what happens, I'm worried about it as I know I'll be stressed. Like you I got preg straight away last time so I keep worrying that it might take longer this time.

    Good luck hope you get BFP soon
    Love Helen x x
  • i work out from ur posts helen that u work in a school i work in a pre school and its only been a week since my mmc due to go back this week but cant face it yet i have to go in the week after and i just dont know how im going to copex x
  • Hi
    Yeah I work in a primary school. I had to have the last 4dys of term off & have had the 6wks which has been a good time to try & recover.

    I can imagine how your feeling as I didn't even want to leave the house for nearly 2wks never mind go to work.
    If you dont feel ready to go back can you not go to the Dr & get a sick note? Thats what I would do as you need time to heal, physically & emotionally.

    Take Care
    Love Helen x x x
  • helen,
    Thanks for your reply think i will see how i feel i too find it hard to leave the house i hope you have a bfp soon
    penny
  • Hiya
    I've not been on in a while, work is hectic and so is life in general!
    I will have to slow down soon though.....I found out last week that I'm pregnant again. We are obviously delighted but sooo nervous as well, having had 2 mmc this year.
    I have an apt with the gynae dr in Oct but by then I will be just over 10 wks - I don't know when its best to have a scan this time, we had 1 at 8 +5 wks last time as the baby had died at that stage the first time, but then the baby must have died only a few days later because I measured 9+1.
    I really want to tell people and also I don't - does that make sense? My job is really busy and there is a bit of pressure to work lots of extra hrs just now and I really don't want to.
    I am trying not to worry but its not easy.

    Helen & Sian - I hope that you have good news really soon too. I only had 1 period after mmc and then I fell pregnant. I really didn't think I was going to be but was pleasantly surprised. There is life in the old dog yet!
    Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for not only me but everyone else.
    Jac
    xx
  • I Jac
    I'm so pleased for you its fantastic news.
    Try not to worry about wrk remember your more important.
    I know the nurse said to me I could have an early scan nxt time at 8wks, I think if your really worried will they not let you have 1 every 2wks.
    I'v said nxt time I'm not telling anyone until I'v had 12wk scan, even though it will be hard to keep quiet.
    Well I'v OV this wk so been busy, hopefully I'll join you soon.

    Look after yourself
    Love Helen x x x
  • Thanks Helen. Going to Docs tomorrow so will see what he says. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. They say you are more fertile after mmc, it took us ages to get pregnant the first time, then after each mmc, only 1 month both times!
    I have only told a close friend and my two daughters (aged 16 & 19) so they can help me out when I'm tired - they are so excited and hopeful too. I feel I can share with you guys here though, as its safe and very supportive - don't know what I'd do without this lifeline just now.

    Hope your settling back to work ok, take care and good luck!
    luv Jac
    xx
  • Hi Jac
    Its good you'v got your 2 daughters to help you, I'm an only child & really close to my Mam.

    I often think I dont know how I'd of coped if I hadn't found this site, you can get everything off your chest & theres always someone whos been through the same thing.

    I'm hoping to be like you & it wont take me long to get preg, everythings crossed.

    Take care of yourself & keep us posted if you can, I'd love to know how you get on. I really hope you have a wonderful healthy pregnancy.
    Love Helen x x

  • Had a bad day today at work, had been off Fri, Mon Tues, it would have been my due date from 1st mmc yesterday and I coped really well, kept myself busy - hosp apt for my daughter then hosp tests for my mum - I was the taxi driver.
    But went back to work today and felt awful - didn't help that I went in to a snippy email from my boss about something last wk - when I spoke to my colleague she said she was probably just in a bad mood when she sent it - she had fallen out with her yesterday. My boss is quite unstable at times and you don't know how to take her! Normally it wouldn't bother me but today it just added to the way I was feeling, I managed to hide all morning at my desk and keep busy but when a friend came to get me for lunch, I got upset just by her asking how I was - and then continued to get upset everytime someone asked if I was ok? I am really transparent and I think cause I'm normally happy and smiling people know when something is up.

    Cut a long story short, friend and colleague wanted to send me home - talked to boss, who was fine and she told me to go home and look after myself, work didn't matter and my health came first (told her I was pregnant) she wants me to go to dr and get signed off but I don't want to give in. I just worry about what the best thing to do is. My OH and I agree that I will probably take the rest of this week off and then go back next week. I can't take the next 6 wks off (I'm 6 wks just now). I have a scan booked for 10 wks, so just need to keep safe and calm.
    I am so frustrated - just wish you could fast forward to a 'safer' time and feel a bit better. I know that my hormones are probably all over the place and the tiredness started to kick in this week too - which doesn't help when you feel lousy!

    Sorry ladies - I'm a real moan tonight, but just needed a bit of support and see how everyone else copes?

    Hope your all well.

    Jac
    xx
  • Hi Jac
    Sorry you'v had a bad day at wrk.
    I'm glad yesterday was ok for you, its good you kept busy.
    I can imagine all the emotions your feeling at the moment so you will get upset when people speak to you. I was like that last week at wrk (1st wk back) I was fine as long as no one asked me how I was.

    Is your job stressfull, what do you do?
    Spend the nxt few days chilling out, have a good sleep in, at least till 10am. :\)

    Can you not get a scan earlier? I was told I could go at 8wks.

    Take Care
    Love Helen x x
  • Thanks Helen,

    I'm better today, got up to call work and then went back to bed with cup of t and a book - then dozed again so nice and rested. Been cleaning and tidying up something I wanted to do for ages so quite therapeutic. My job can be stressful at times, I am a manager in a busy claims dept of an assurance company. To be honest, my boss is the one that stresses us the most - she suffers from depression and due to things going on both in her personal life and work, she can be a bit unpredictible. Also, she admits she is rubbish at telling you when your've done something well but very quick at pointing out something that isn't going well - she is a huge pessimist. All my colleagues are great and they feel the same about her. We can't do much about it - I just have to bide my time and hope that everything goes well, then I will be leaving - hopefully not going back after maternity leave. Don't want to work FT then, hopefully get something PT that is less stressful.

    I could have had a scan earlier, but we agreed that last time when I was scanned at 8.5 wks, it just got my hopes up as baby died at 9+1. I know there is no gtee if I scan at 10 wks that everything will be/will stay ok but at least it wouldn't be long before my routine scan about 12 wks. I just have to look after myself.
    Planning to potter about, read and watch films. My oldest daughter is at home just now as she is just back from volunteer work in malawi and is good company.
    I'm very lucky to have 2 beautiful daughters already. but looking forward to being able to have another child with my new husband!
    take care Helen,
    Love Jac
    xx
  • Hi Jac
    Enjoy your time off, I'm sure the nxt few wks will fly by.
    I cant believe its 9wks today since I had my 1st scan & found out I'd had a mmc, its gone so fast.

    keep in touch
    Take Care
    Love Helen x x
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