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Missed Miscarriage

Hi all
Sadly yesterday I found out my baby had stopped growing at 5 weeks,I should have been around 8. I has some light brown bleeding on Tuesday evening,called midwife who told me not to worry.Luckily I trusted my instincts and went for a scan.
I am devasted,still don't know how to feel.I am angry at myself I can't even do the one thing a woman is supposed to do.

I have decided to let the miscarriage happen naturally and I have had abit more bleeding.I have to go back for a scan 28th Oct to make sure there is nothing left.Dh being great and have a good support system of friends and family around me.
Was supposed to be going on my twin sisters hen weekend to Bournemouth but not going as worried if anything happens while I am there and just think emotionally its to soon for drinking etc.

I don't really know what else to write but just wanted to write something.Any advice gratefully appericated.

Sharmaine
xx

Replies

  • So sorry you are having to go through this.I was in the same position as you 6 weeks ago. I started bleeding at 9 wks went for a scan to be told baby had died at 6 weeks. Completely devastated as it was a much longed for baby.I let nature take its course and had a complete mc 4 days after i intially started bleeding.
    One piece of advice i will give you is please make sure you have someone with you as you will need the love and support around you.
    If you have any questions or you just need to rant and rave,we are all here for you as we all know what you are going through. Big hugs.xx
  • So sorry to hear your news!

    I had a MMC 6 weeks ago, OH was my rock!

    I know you prob don't feel like it now, but things do get better! xxx
  • Thank you nikr,
    I have started to bleed abit more.Did you go back to work berfore the miscarriage had happened?I am not sure what to do.....I am a nanny and the youngest I look after is 3 months.

    Sharmaine.xx
  • Thank you butterfly123, I know it will get easier in time.DH has been great and I am so glad I married him.xx
  • Hi Sharmaine,
    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I mc 4 weeks ago and I did it naturally aswell (I was 10 weeks gone but baby stopped growing at 7 weeks). I stopped bleeding after around 7 days (wasnt really keeping track).

    I am a PA in Central London, so have to get the tube into work. I had two weeks off work. To be honest I wasnt even ready to return after the two weeks and cried at my desk alot...but my work friends have been great! Especially my male boss!!

    My hubby has been amazing, and in a way it has brought us even closer together.

    I have been telling friends about my loss now, which feels ok but obviously I get very sad. I had to tell them bcos they kept asking me if I was pg yet....which is something I obvisouly do not want to hear!

    I agree with you about going out - I only just went out last Saturday and even then I felt it was too soon.

    You sound like you have a great hubby to support you so you will battle on, I promise you.

    If you feel like chatting or even having a moan up.....come to us!!

    xxx

  • I didn't go back to work until after the mc had happened,i work for Mothercare so felt i couldn't with all the pregnant mums to be and new borns! I had 2 weeks off in total and glad i did,you need time to heal and i would suggest you take time off until after the mc has completely happened,but that is just my opinion and you may want to keep yourself busy by working?
    Take your time.xx
  • i'm so sorry to hear about ur experience!!! i have had 2 missed m/c this yr (jan and may), both times the baby had died at about 8 weeks, but i'd carried to 12 wks, like you was told that dark blood meant old blood and was nothing to worry about. both times work were very unsympathetic, i had 2 weeks off in jan, and like a lot of you i didn't feel physically or emotionally ready to return, when i had the scan in may and was found to be in the same situation as last time my line mananger insisted that i turned up to work that day as i'd already had time off with the previous miscarriage!!! i was so shocked that i turned up, only to be sent home anyway because i was in no fit state to work in the first place. my advice to u hun is to take things at ur own pace, only my hubs was supportive, my family were of the opinion that it just wasn't meant to be and that i should get over it, and my F-I-L's attitude was why did we even consider trying again, and we should be lucky we already have children. your going to feel down for a while, and don't feel guilty or ashamed of that, take things at your own pace, it will get easier it'll just take time. am wishing you the best for a happy successful pregnancy in the future. love n hugs rachie xxxx
  • Hi you have all been so kind thank you.I have decided not to go back to work and I am going to get a sick note from the doctors.

    I met up with my sister and friends for lunch before they headed to Bournemouth,I held it together very well as nobody else knows why I wasn't going.I also went and had a cuppa with another friend and me and DH went to see his mum.I really just wanted to get out of the house today,but now I feel like I have spent all day crying and just feel drained.

    Going to relax on the sofa with DH tonight.

    Thanks for all your support.xxx

  • Sorry for your loss Sharmaine. It is a really tough time for you but we are all here to offer you as much support that you can handle.
    I had a mmc at 10 wks (bubs passed at 7 wks). It was our first pregnancy and we were devastated. That all began 2 weeks ago. I went into work the day after our first scan and were told the news, and then I started to mc that day. It was awful being at work and I literally grabbed my things and ran out of the office crying and jumped in a cab to the hospital. I didnt go back to work for a week. Try and take time out if you can and I hope you're work is understanding. I work with all men and I didn't want anyone there to even know we were ttc, let alone that I was pregnant so it was a tough one to explain on my return. I just said I had to go into hospital for surgery and needed time to recover. They all (including my boss) respected my privacy and didnt ask any further questions, although I know a few of them suspect what happened. I didnt get a medical certificate as my gp said you can legally self-certify yourself for 5 days, though she gave me a letter anyway to say Id been to see her.

    You will have down days but know that there are up days around the corner. We are all here to help you through this as we all truly understand what you are going through. x
  • I'm so, so sorry to hear about your loss, it is the most devastating thing to happen and you will go through the full range of grief, but you do come out the other side, i know it's hard to believe at the moment. I second what everyone else has said on here and that you take as much time as you need to and not judge yourself. Some people feel they can go back straight away and others, it takes longer. I've had 2 mmcs, the first I took a week off then went back and then had another 3 days off after erpc. I didn't want to go back at all and was sobbing in the car park trying to force myself to go into the office. The 2nd time, i was so anxious not to feel so bad as the time before, i went into work the day after the scan. Looking back I was in shock and shouldn't have been there. i took a week off after medical management and again found it so hard to go back, i still do. Only one day last week did I not cry on my way in....it has made me think though that maybe I'm in the wrong job and have started to think about moving. Good luck and take care, listen to your body and to your emotions, wrap yourself in a cocoon of love with your OH and just be what you need to be, cry when you need to cry and time, i promise you will start to heal the raw hurt. Sending you lots of love xx
  • hi shar
    i sympathise with u hun i had an incomplete mc on 6th oct at 8 weeks doc says my babs stopped at 9mm(anybody know how many weeks that is?)the sac an babs still there so i had a d&c im still out of wrk only im a hairdresser an boss woz stuck fri & sat so she asked me an i said ok but 2 be honest i jst did'nt want 2 be there so im gonna take another week off:roll:but im ttc again:\)so i hope all goes well 4 u jst keep ur chin up as i am an it will all be ok

    loadza hugs xxxxx
  • Hi Sharmaine

    Sending you lots of love this evening. Hope you are feeling ok after your surgery today. Try to rest up and not overdo it too soon (I found walking 50 metres up the road to the corner shop took it out of me the day after my op).

    Let us know how you are.

    xx

    P.S. By the way....you can eat as much ice cream and chocolate as you want!! ;\)

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