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just want to prepare myself...
hello everyone i had hoped not to be posting in here but i went for my private scan today (9 weeks) and they can only see a sac, so it isn't looking good. they aren't saying 100% it is over in case my dates are wrong (but i know they are not that wrong) so i've got another scan next week but it isn't looking good.
i'm absolutely devastated.
i just want to prepare myself for next week really, if it turns out that it is all over.
if i don't start bleeding before then, are they likely to send me away to wait for it to happen naturally or have a D&C? will i have to wait long for a D&C? sorry to ask, i've just got no idea what happens in the whole process. how long am i likely to bleed for after?
i just want to prepare myself for what i might have to go through so that i can hopefully deal with it a bit better.
thank you for your help, you are all so wonderful
xxx
i'm absolutely devastated.
i just want to prepare myself for next week really, if it turns out that it is all over.
if i don't start bleeding before then, are they likely to send me away to wait for it to happen naturally or have a D&C? will i have to wait long for a D&C? sorry to ask, i've just got no idea what happens in the whole process. how long am i likely to bleed for after?
i just want to prepare myself for what i might have to go through so that i can hopefully deal with it a bit better.
thank you for your help, you are all so wonderful
xxx
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Replies
Becky
(PS ask them what the benefits of a d&c and a natural miscarriage are (there are positives and negatives to both but from what i read, you can recover more quickly after a d&c). XX
I bled for about 9-10 days after, and my fist af showed 28 days after the d and c. We have now started ttc again so dont give up hope. I hope i have informed u a bit. Hugs xxxx
good luck xxx
I have had a labour induced miscarriage at 20 weeks.. ie you deliver the baby which was pretty horrid but I had no choice - I was past the option of a D&C..
Then I had another miscarriage a few weeks ago at 9 or 10 weeks.. I decided against having a d&c.. I was booked in but then changed my mind.. there is no rush for you to make the decision actually.. well that is what they said to me ... I was booked in for a Tuesday but had decided over the weekend not to have it... we were at the hospital anyway on the monday having the report of the autopsy for the first miscarriage - when I really started to have horrid cramps.. like an extremely bad period...I told the consultant and he said that it was probably about to happen ... he said I could go downstairs and see the EPU nurses or I could go home... I opted for going home - we got there just in the nick of time... I went and lay on my bed... and was really doubled over... and then I had the sudden urge to go to the loo... and it came out... the size of a large fat sausage.. sorry for the graffic details - but I thought its better to know these things... it was not scary at all... and I felt pretty much fine afterwards ... I just took it easy for two days and I bled for exactly a week - where as the other miscarriage I bled for three weeks..
Its a very personal choice as to whether you want to have the operation or not... I wanted to do it naturally - I didn't want to have a general and I also wanted to start bleeding on my own accord... I think I wanted to make sure that the scan was right... if that makes sense... ie - making sure that we all hadn't made some dreadful mistake....
Wow - I have gone on too much... but my heart is with you and your husband..
Whatever you decide - we are all here for you...
Annabel
xx
i had a mmc in feb. went for my 12 week scan and found that there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at 8.5 weeks. I was given the choice between a natural mc or a d+c. i wasn't sure so was given a couple of days to think about it and the next day I started bleeding. the first day it was just like a period with a few small clots but on th 2nd night I woke up in agony. I was having contractions every 4minutes and could'nt stop being sick. i was admitted to the epu in my local hospital where they putme on a drip, gave me some anti-sickness medicine and also some very strong painkillers. I slept for a few hours and then when I got up to go toilet i could feel lots of blood. I sat on the toilet and out came my baby. it was still in the sack and in total was about 7cm. it was quite distressing to actualy see the baby in the sack but I would'nt of wanted it anyway cos at least I got to see my baby. a few hours after this I passed a big clot bou 4cm diameter. I was kept in for about another 4 hours after this and then I was allowed to go home. Afterwards I just felt very tired and weepy. The bleeding stopped after a week and I had my 1st af 6 weeks after losing the baby.
Personaly I would opt for a natural mc everytime as like Magic Bean said, I wanted to make sure the scan was right!!
Good luck with whatever you decide on and take care.If you ever need to talk about it then I am on msn.
xx
i was going to stay a bit positive especially because DH had an exam today so i wanted to hold myself together a bit. but i've had more pg symptoms today than i've had in my pg so far, which i would have been excited about if i had not had my scan yesterday and been told the bad news. it's just so hard trying to cope with them knowing they aren't happening for a reason.
i will have a good think about d&c or natural, you have all given me things to think about thank you.
xxx
Best of luck
Annabel
My bleeding is settling down already and today is no heavier than a light af. I dont have cramps now, just a bit of backache.
The doctor I spoke to was very kind and sympathetic. She said that I didnt have to decide straight away (but I had already made up my mind while I was waiting to see her). She also said that it can take weeks for a mc to occur naturally, but that they would be reluctant to let me go more than 6 weeks because of the risk of infection. She also said that when I went back in 2 weeks for my second scan, that all 3 options would be open to me again, and I could also change my mind at any time.
I sincerely hope that you dont have to face these choices hun, and that your second scan gives you some good news. But if the worst does happen, then I hope I have been of some help.
Take care hun, and you know where I am if you need to chat. x
I was taken in at 9am and was home at 8.30 as there was a long list. I bled for about 10 days and first AF came 31 days after D&C so was only 3 days longer than my normal cycle. Physically I recovered quickly though I did need to rest for a few days after.
I really hope you dont have to go through this hun, if you do dont hestitate to ask about anything you want to know we are all happy to help xxx
Sorry to hear about your bad news. I had a miscarriage near the end of Jan (I was 10.5 weeks when I started to have spotting/light bleeding on the friday, and had a scan on the monday where it showed the feotus had stopped developing at 7.5 weeks) and opted for an ERPC (which I think is the same as the D&C) I had that the next day, and they put me in a little side room to recover (surprising for the NHS I thought), afterwards I had what was like quite a light period for 10 days, had a few paracetamol but nothing more, no infections or anything. I didn't like the idea of letting things happen naturally. If felt the ERPC would close a door on things that had not gone so well.
The good news for me is that I had my next @ period 5 weeks, and got pregnant again in my next cycle, and am nor 7 weeks pregnant! So please don't get too distraught as although things are bad for you now, you can be optimistic about the future. I am praying for better luck this time.
my scan today showed the baby had died at around 6 weeks and i was given the three options. i've chosen to have the op on friday as they said that it could take a while for it to happen naturally - the sac has started to "flatten" but it hasn't moved down etc so it could be a few weeks or whatever.
i'm booked in for friday and i'll be out in the evening all being well which is good so at least i will have the bank holiday to recover. they did 3 scans in total today so i know that it is over as i don't think i would have believed just one.
i can now start to grieve and move on instead of being in limboland.
DH thinks we should wait for one AF before trying again but i think we'll see what happens.
thank you everyone and i hope none of us have to go through this again xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Bex
All my op's have been straight forward with no problems or infections after, what they will do and not all hospitals do, firstly they will insert 2 pessaries into the vaginal passage this helps relax the cervix so that the instruments used can enter easier and will cause less pain after, this is normally done an hour before, I admit this was the first time I had it yesterday but can say it is better as not suffered any pain at all since op where as last three I did so it must do something!! You will then have your candula (not sure if spelt right) put in ready for anaesthetic and take some bloods at the same time, then when the time comes they take you to the pre op room and check all your notes and who you are for about the 10th time but this is procedure, you may see the surgeon at this point or it could be whilst you were on the ward before you even go down and they will normally explain the procedure (op will take about 15 minutes, should be in recovery for 20 minutes and then you will return to ward and be observed and as long as you drink, eat and wee you can go home), then you go into anaesthetic room and you shuold be introduced to everyone in there so you know who is doing what and they are normally relaxed and jolly to keep you from worrying, they will explain what they are going to do (again this could be done in pre op room as every hospital is different) through your candula you should have an anti sickness injection, pain killer injection and then I was asked what my favourite drink was, I said malibu and coke and they said ok think of that and we will inject that now, from when it went in I remember nothing until I woke in recovery!!! You feel like you've been asleep for ages but it's only 15 minutes, I always have a little cry at this point which is quite common, relief it's all over but sad that you are no longer pregnant but it soon passes. You are returned to ward, obs are done every half an hour which is normally check your pad for bleeding, temperature and blood pressure for about an hour and then as long you drink, eat and wee they will let you home.
I know all this is graphic, but my first time I was absolutely bricking it as I hadn't a clue and wished I'd known the full procedure. Now they say I'm a pro as I know which arm to put out for different things and I tell them what they are going to do. Honestly it's really straight forward you have nothing to worry about the waiting is the most frustrating part but once your on your way down to theatre it's like a whirlwind it will be over before you know it. I have had no pain since op and had a small amount of bleeding this morning but not much, first time I only bled for about 2 days, 2nd time was nearly 3 weeks, last time about 5 days but again everyone is different but if you are in pain make sure you ask for something as you really don't need to suffer unnecssarily.
Hope all goes well and will be thinking of you. If there is anything your unsure of on the day just ask they will be glad to answer any questions you may have.
xxxxxx
your post has really helped because i've never been in hospital before so am quite scared by the whole process. DH didn't want me to have it done at first as he worries about me bless him but we both agreed it was probably for the best.
i think you are right - the waiting time will be the worst. DH is coming with me so i hope he can stay with me for some time. am quite scared of the anaesthetic because i'm a type of person who likes to be in complete control of what is happening to me so to have drugs sending me to sleep will be very strange but as you say i won't know anything about it.
i also hope i wont feel sick
i'll let you know how i get on when i return.
hope you are doing ok hun xx
I'm doing ok, hitting me a bit more now and feeling quite angry but knowing all the tests that have been done I'm trying to stay positive in 6-8 weeks we may have an answer to our problem if not, don't know what I'll do.
Be thinking of you all day, let us know how you got on and if your experience was as close to my post.
Big squidge coming your way from me xxxxx