I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. Pregnancy after mc is a very anxious time and it is only natural that you worry about another loss. I know it is much easier said than done by try to relax as much as you can and remember that statistics are on your side that everything will be fine this time. If you have any concerns talk to your GP or midwife as soon as possible - don't let worries play on your mind. Sometimes all you need is a bit of reassurance from them and most are very understanding and know how scary it is to be pregnant again after a mc. You could also ask your GP about an early reassurance scan usually done around 8 weeks. They don't offer them in all areas but it's worth asking.
Good luck and I really hope everything will be ok for you and your OH.
hi leefern i too am the same as you i m.c. beg. dec and found out i was pregnant again on sat. i'm really worried and i'm trying to stay calm and positive but it is hard. I'm not going to phone midwife til i get to 6wks and hopefully can arrange an early scan if they do it in my area, this time we have only told my mum and sister and i only told them yest. my mum says mind over matter and keep positive. i hope all goes well for us both! x
Hi sorry for your loss, and congratulations on your pg,
As I am sure you are aware, there is no reason why after one mc you can't go on to have a full term pg. It is as NN says mind over matter unfortunately. Try to enjoy the pg, and remind yourself that there is no reason why everything can't be absolutely fine. xx
Hi thanks for all the support. It is even harder now because my partner is trying to get a job now. He refuses to talk about the baby we lost in december. I think he is happy about me being pregnant again but he wont talk to me about it.
I'm sorry your hubby won't discuss things with you. He is probably feeling the same way you do, and may not want to upset you by showing how he feels.
If you feel it is a good idea, maybe approach him and say you would like to talk about the babies. You understand it's hard, but you feel you need to discuss them.
I don't know if you have got a reminder of your bean, my OH and I bought a teddy. Maybe suggest that to him.
Try not to pressure your OH, but explain you need to talk about it, and you'd like it to be with him. Even if you allow him time to come to you.
There is probably not too much I can say right now to make you feel any better but I want you to know that my heart goes out to you and I am sincerely sorry that this has happened to you. Please don't be too disheartened, this is just awful luck. Your time will come, I promise it will, this ttc game is such a hard one and a tough journey for some of us.
Massive (((((hugs))))) for you, and I'm here if you feel like talking about it, I won't be going anywhere for a while.
hi thanks for all the support. My partner is worried because he dont think i will fall pregnant again. He keeps braging about how he got a women pregnant on his first go and she got pregnant so why do i keep losing his babys? from leefern:roll:
Well personally I think that's bloody insensitive-I'd probably ask if he was sure it was his!!! Sorry-but at a time like this you need compassion and understanding, not comments like that. Maybe it's all male bravado to hide behind?
hi leefern just saw this post again and realised i had written on it as i had said b4 i was in the same boat as you at the time. i too mc again, my 3rd pregnancy (2nd mc in row) 1 st at 6+ wks 2nd at 9+ wks only 2 wks ago. i'm only just feeling human physically and emotionally will get there. i hope that you too will in time feel strong and have a happy healthy pregnancy. do try to stay positive. i know it is hard i should take my own advice!!! my hubby has been supportive and i think this 2nd loss has hit him hard, i at least had the physical pain to cope with and distract me from how i was feeling emotionally... anyway i wish you well, fingers crossed should you decide to try again x
Is trying to have another baby what you really want right now? Sorry but I just have to ask the question as I feel that maybe your OH maybe pressurising you in this right now?! Please accept my appologies if I am wrong.
Why are you feeling so tired too hun? Listen I hope that you are ok, and only go and see the doctor if that is something you want to do. There is nothing wrong with going to see your GP at all and if you feel that maybe able to help you and you can talk to them about everything them thats a good thing to do.
Take care of yourself and if you are in a place where you feel ready to ttc again then I wish you lots of luck.
leefern wishing you every success! the ttc after miscarriage forum and pregnancy after mc forums are really supportive. I have to say that although we girls live in a world of caring and sharing etc, blokes just aren't much good at it! You'll know I'm sure, but your oh probably does care deep down. They tend to like to concentrate on the positive - ie their bits are working. But they concentrate on quantity not quality - it may still be his 'fault' that it didn't develop properly particularly for early mc. Blame is not helpful and you may just have to accept your different ways of dealing with your loss. Men just can't always verbalise their feelings. But if you catch him watching a baby in the supermarket or staring into space, you will know he's thinking about your losses and what might have been. Take care and if you're sure you're ready, best of luck with the ttc
Replies
I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. Pregnancy after mc is a very anxious time and it is only natural that you worry about another loss. I know it is much easier said than done by try to relax as much as you can and remember that statistics are on your side that everything will be fine this time. If you have any concerns talk to your GP or midwife as soon as possible - don't let worries play on your mind. Sometimes all you need is a bit of reassurance from them and most are very understanding and know how scary it is to be pregnant again after a mc. You could also ask your GP about an early reassurance scan usually done around 8 weeks. They don't offer them in all areas but it's worth asking.
Good luck and I really hope everything will be ok for you and your OH.
Take care, NN x
As I am sure you are aware, there is no reason why after one mc you can't go on to have a full term pg. It is as NN says mind over matter unfortunately. Try to enjoy the pg, and remind yourself that there is no reason why everything can't be absolutely fine. xx
If you feel it is a good idea, maybe approach him and say you would like to talk about the babies. You understand it's hard, but you feel you need to discuss them.
I don't know if you have got a reminder of your bean, my OH and I bought a teddy. Maybe suggest that to him.
Try not to pressure your OH, but explain you need to talk about it, and you'd like it to be with him. Even if you allow him time to come to you.
Hope he opens up to you. xx
take care
There is probably not too much I can say right now to make you feel any better but I want you to know that my heart goes out to you and I am sincerely sorry that this has happened to you. Please don't be too disheartened, this is just awful luck. Your time will come, I promise it will, this ttc game is such a hard one and a tough journey for some of us.
Massive (((((hugs))))) for you, and I'm here if you feel like talking about it, I won't be going anywhere for a while.
Lou xxx
so sorry to hear of your losses, x
I am so sorry for your loss.
Big Hugs.
Chocky
It is important you and DH talk to each other. We're here for you if you need us. xx
thanks for all the support. My partner is worried because he dont think i will fall pregnant again. He keeps braging about how he got a women pregnant on his first go and she got pregnant so why do i keep losing his babys? from leefern:roll:
my hubby has been supportive and i think this 2nd loss has hit him hard, i at least had the physical pain to cope with and distract me from how i was feeling emotionally... anyway i wish you well, fingers crossed should you decide to try again x
I have just read that you had another mc. I am so, so sorry.
And I'm sorry your partner is being so hurtful and insensitive.
It may well be really awful luck and everything will be ok next time. Statistics are still on your side.
We're always here to listen.
Love and hugs, NN xxx
Click Here To Read My Ramblings On Living With Loss
Is trying to have another baby what you really want right now? Sorry but I just have to ask the question as I feel that maybe your OH maybe pressurising you in this right now?! Please accept my appologies if I am wrong.
Why are you feeling so tired too hun? Listen I hope that you are ok, and only go and see the doctor if that is something you want to do. There is nothing wrong with going to see your GP at all and if you feel that maybe able to help you and you can talk to them about everything them thats a good thing to do.
Take care of yourself and if you are in a place where you feel ready to ttc again then I wish you lots of luck.
Love Lou x
wishing you every success! the ttc after miscarriage forum and pregnancy after mc forums are really supportive.
I have to say that although we girls live in a world of caring and sharing etc, blokes just aren't much good at it! You'll know I'm sure, but your oh probably does care deep down. They tend to like to concentrate on the positive - ie their bits are working. But they concentrate on quantity not quality - it may still be his 'fault' that it didn't develop properly particularly for early mc. Blame is not helpful and you may just have to accept your different ways of dealing with your loss. Men just can't always verbalise their feelings. But if you catch him watching a baby in the supermarket or staring into space, you will know he's thinking about your losses and what might have been. Take care and if you're sure you're ready, best of luck with the ttc