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I think I should join you all, feel so lost and in limbo
Hi girls,
I am very sad to be posting on this forum but so glad it is here.
My story is for the past week I have had slight show of brownish CM but nothing much really. Then on Tuesday had a bowel movement and passed a fair amount of blood from the front. I went straight to my GP who sent me for an early acan at the EPAU yesterday. Had my scan and was told they couldn't find a heartbeat, I should be 10 weeks. They said that they could see the baby and it measured 12mm which would be about the correct size for 8 weeks so they thought something had happened a couple of weeks ago.
When I saw the consultant he said that maybe I wasn't as far along as I thought, but I really cant see that myself as I tested as soon as I had a missed period, and he said that as I have had no real pain or continued to bleed that I should wait two weeks and see if I pass anything naturally. I then have to go back to the EPAU in two weeks time for another scan, in the slight hope there is a heartbeat. I really cant see that happening myself.
I am just really struggling with the unknown, I feel no differnt to what I did a few weeks ago and as I really dont have any pain, cramps or anything major with regards to bleeding I just feel in a complete state of limbo. I personally would have prefered for the consultant to say thats it, you need to have an operation or something, at least it would be definite. Every time I go to the loo now I am expecting to see a load of blood or to feel pain but there is nothing. This is just so upsetting, I really want something to happen, as upsetting as it maybe, so I can just move on.
Not sure if I will be able to even get pregnant again as I am 38 and it has taken us 6 years to fall pregnant this time. Although I must admit in the end we wern't actually trying, and I haven't been to my GP for any fertility advise. I just thought it wasn't meant to be for us. But now I have had a very small glimpse of pregnancy I really want it again.
Sorry for the long post but I know you all understand.
Leigh-Anne x
I am very sad to be posting on this forum but so glad it is here.
My story is for the past week I have had slight show of brownish CM but nothing much really. Then on Tuesday had a bowel movement and passed a fair amount of blood from the front. I went straight to my GP who sent me for an early acan at the EPAU yesterday. Had my scan and was told they couldn't find a heartbeat, I should be 10 weeks. They said that they could see the baby and it measured 12mm which would be about the correct size for 8 weeks so they thought something had happened a couple of weeks ago.
When I saw the consultant he said that maybe I wasn't as far along as I thought, but I really cant see that myself as I tested as soon as I had a missed period, and he said that as I have had no real pain or continued to bleed that I should wait two weeks and see if I pass anything naturally. I then have to go back to the EPAU in two weeks time for another scan, in the slight hope there is a heartbeat. I really cant see that happening myself.
I am just really struggling with the unknown, I feel no differnt to what I did a few weeks ago and as I really dont have any pain, cramps or anything major with regards to bleeding I just feel in a complete state of limbo. I personally would have prefered for the consultant to say thats it, you need to have an operation or something, at least it would be definite. Every time I go to the loo now I am expecting to see a load of blood or to feel pain but there is nothing. This is just so upsetting, I really want something to happen, as upsetting as it maybe, so I can just move on.
Not sure if I will be able to even get pregnant again as I am 38 and it has taken us 6 years to fall pregnant this time. Although I must admit in the end we wern't actually trying, and I haven't been to my GP for any fertility advise. I just thought it wasn't meant to be for us. But now I have had a very small glimpse of pregnancy I really want it again.
Sorry for the long post but I know you all understand.
Leigh-Anne x
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Replies
It has taken me 2 weeks to pluck up the courage to post here as i suppose i was kind of in denial and writing about it made it too real??
Im also a bit older 37 and took us 17mths & scared it wont happen again but im trying to be positve just now as thats all i have to cling on to.
Anyway saying a prayer for you & your oh
Annette xxx
Thinking of you and your hubby... take care of yourself Dx
It may have taken you 6 years to fall pregnant this time but once you have been pregnant once it may not be hard to fall again because this time your body will know what to do. Sending you my love and prayers that you get through this without too much more pain and grief.
I am so sorry for what you're going through. The waiting and not knowing is truly awful. I went through a similar time with my first mc as I had brown discharge for 2 1/2 weeks before I actually mc'ed and in that time they couldn't give me a definite answer whether it was over or not and I kept having bloods and scans for weeks before we finally got an answer. I really feel for you.
You are in my thoughts and we're always here to listen.
Love NN xxx
Click Here To Read My Ramblings On Living With Loss
I had something similar to you, but stupidly I didn't go to my dr as I still had all the pg symptoms. (Although I'm sure it wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome) Found out I had a mmc at 9 weeks, when I went for my 12 week scan.
I'm sorry you are stuck in limbo. I was 'lucky' to get an ERPC the same day. Now you don't know whether to hold on to that little bit of hope, or to think the worst.
I hope the time goes quickly, so you can deal with whatever happens. Thinking of you and sending hugs. xx
Sorry to hear you are going through this anxious time. I had to wait for a repeat scan a week apart with my first MMC before they would confirm that the bean was defiantly not viable. I don't know if it will help, but from my last 2 MMC here are somethings that may help you if you want to speed the NHS system up!
My understanding is that they only need to leave it a week until they rescan as your bean grows quite quickly at this point so they would be able to measure a change .in that time frame
Secondly, if you don't want to wait a week you could ask them to do hCG blood test and a second test 48hrs later. If your pregnancy is progressing then the levels should double in this time. I hated the wait in limbo, it made things so much tougher as you don't know if there is still hope or you should start to grieve.
I hope this helps in some small way. Sending you hugs at this difficult time
Lilou x
[Modified by: Lilou on April 16, 2009 04:43 PM]
shes due in 11 weeks xx
Honey I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was in the very same position as you 2 months ago. Our bean was growing well with a hb but the gestational sac wasn't. We were told to go home and wait 2 weeks to see what happened, but were told to expect the worst. I had been spotting for about 5 days before this. I mc'd naturally after a week and the waiting was honestly the worst thing about it all, apart from losing our bean obviously.
I know that each day will be like a lifetime for you but there is a chance that it could be ok. I really hope and pray that it will work out well for you. We are all here to help you through the wait, and understand what you're going through.
Sending you lots of hugs and keeping everything crossed for you.
xxxx
I was so sorry to read your post this morning, I have recently suffered an ectopic pregnancy and completetly empathise with the awful waiting. I know that every day feels like a month while you try and fill the time with mundane tasks.
I don't want to give you false hope as I appreciate that it's not helpful, but I was just wondering how long your cycles are? Is at it all possible that you ovulated late in your cycle which could put your dates back a little?
I know I haven't spoken to you before but I really will be thinking of you over the next few days, I really feel for you.
xx
Just wanted to thank you all for your lovely words and support. It all means so much. I am trying to type this through tears so apologise for any mistakes. It is so reassuring to hear all your stories and know that you have all benn through similar and had this awful waiting. I thought it was just me this has happened to. I guess I had a misconcievied thought that after they told me there was no heartbeat that they would do something about it there and then. It is a real comfort to know I am not alone. Thank you all. x
I came on here this morning and got really upset looking at my details telling me how long to go so have been brave and changed that. Also put some stuff away in the loft last night, some clothing and all the books and bits and bobs relating to pregnancy. It was just to painful to have it around.
I seem to have good and bad moments, one minute I feel fine the next I am all over the place. I had some news yesterday that a friend is pregnant (13 weeks), I am happy for them but also at the same time I thought why you and not me, then I felt bad for having horrible thoughts. Oh God told you I was all over the place.
Annette, Hi I do remember you from the Nov forum and was very sad when you left as we are a similar age, so hope at the very least there are the two of us older ladies on here. Thanks for your support, hope I can support you too. x
Lillou Thank you for that info really helpful, I think may wait just awhile longer then go to my gp and see what he says. x
Welsh78 my cycles are always 28 days so really dont think there is much chance I ov late, but thanks anyway.
Leigh-Anne x