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How can she be like that??? *A bit long sorry*

Ok here goes......

the problem at the minute though is my sister! See we had my dad here for dinner on Friday as he couldnt make easter Sunday (i havent seen him for 8 weeks never been close and i hadnt told him about the baby as he has had his own problems) anyway i was going to tell him but if you remember i told my aunt 5 weeks ago and have had about 2 texts since, no phone calls to 'see how i am' and she hasnt been up to see me as she is always 'going out' and my sis told me to 'just get over it' and hasnt spoken to me my sis is 18 and although young not that young (i met my hubby at 19) i was always more mature but she needs to grow up especially without my mum here and become more mature and also she is very selfish,.....her friend is due a baby on 5 weeks (21 and was pregnant within 3 months of being with a guy) at the time even before we planned to try for a baby i said this was terrible (which i think it is sorry if i offend anyone and now i obviously think its unfair) anyway my sis is easily led and looks up to her and i didnt want her to think this was a good idea....anyway she feel out with me...

So my dad came here and told me he knew my sis and i had fallen out and he also told why despite my askin her not to and trusting upset and i am angry how could she do that? he is annoyed i didnt tell him but i stand by my choice not to as hubbys parents dont know either so its not like he is majorly left out and i told him so...anyway my sis is 'never speaking to me again' apparantly how mature is that? And even when you do fall out why would you be like that about it? Espec with your only sis when your mums dead???? :\? We've never been particualrly close as shes never been interested - i try and make an effort and i take her away places etc but i feel like she always uses me....when my dad annoys her and she is fed up she wants to come and stay with me.....when she is stranded somewhere or at a party and needs picked up she asks me and i go even when its midnight on a Saturday.....if she has no one to go with her somewhere i get asked....when the guy she is seeing mucks her about and its late at night she phones me despite me having to get up for work in the morning etc etc (tho not now) but she has always been more for her friends than her family but i do things when she asks without a second thought as she is my sister and after what we have been through so i was hurt and let down at her reaction - i didnt expect her to understand but i thought she could have been there for me is that so much to ask?????

All she is doin on her bebo is posting things like how she 'cant wait to be an auntie' (to her friends baby) how she is going to babysit, how excited she is, how she wants one and how she has bought presents etc...its like she is kicking me in the teeth espec when she does those quizzes and there is one like 'are you going to grow apart from anyone close?' and her reply 'i already am and now i dont give a f**k) nice eh??? At my wedding all she did was moan that she didnt want to be there or be a bridesmaid (she didnt like the dress, her hair, the food etc) i got wraps for them to wear as she didnt want to show her arms off but the day was still a moan she wouldnt do anything or help...all this despite my mum being termially ill but battling through the day and everyone making the effort to be happy and 'normal' even just for that day and she couldnt even do it! So its always the same. I did try and speak to her last week as my grandad gave us all money to put into an isa and when i went over she was like 'ok' and bye and basically ignored me she is being really pathetic.

Also, my hubby often fixes her laptop etc (we also gave her a computer desk and printer and ink etc for nothing we dont take money off of her) but she needed a new adapter and quickly and she was like 'i'll pay you for it' so hubby got her one (??30 but cheaper than she would have been going to pay) and we went to a show (start of march before i lost the baby) and she brought the money but i forgot to get it from her and she text to say she would give me it next time i saw her no big deal...anyway i didnt get over that week then obviously everything with the baby and hospital etc and then her falling out with me so i said to hubby to text her (as she had already had the cheek texting him to fix her computer despite fallingout with me as thats what she likes - when it suits her) and i said say that you need the money to pay off your company card and can she leave it for me (i wasnt letting her get away with it as i was so annoyed as its petty i know as normally i wouldnt have bothered) anyway when i went over after the 'ok' i got a ;my dad has it; when i asked about the money and my dad then gave me ??30. On Friday night he told my husband that my sister had asked him for a loan of ??30 as my husband had apparantly 'demanded ??30 for fixing her computer weeks ago' erm helllloooo?? she knew she had to pay it and he asked nicely and sent her a thank you text as well so she clearly made up lies to my dad!!! image

The thing is she has been seeing an Asian boy on/off for about 8 months despite us all telling her to leave him (her friends too) as he has cheated once that we know of and got caught and he mucks her about alot also his family are strict and hes told her they will never accept her so he doesnt plan to tell them (so she is wasting her time as it cant ever go anywer) and he then has convenient excuses for only being able to see her once a week or whenever he feels like it (i also think she may have had sex with him as i know she has done other things and im a bit disgusted at her for not havin more self respect really and for just trying to 'keep' him) anyway im not racist so its not to do with religion - a white boy treating her this way i would feel just the same. Now my dad isnt racist either but i didnt think he would be too happy and when she asked me not to say anything to my dad i didnt and i havent (she has now told him and obviously he isnt pleased and has said he isnt going to accept it but never mind thats a different story) my point is i never once mentioned it to my dad in all this time as she asked me not to but she told him about my baby (as my aunt told my cousin, who told my sis she knew so my sis decided as they knew my dad had a right to) as i am mega pissed off with her and annoyed and mainly hurt and i can never forgive her for that! :x

Its makes me sad that she is like this with me as i have always tried to be there for her but im not going to run after her either, She will learn the hard way with this guy and also with her friends (as i think they will desert her slightly when the baby is here and with its proper 'auntie' to babysit rather than my sis muscling in) and seen as she doesnt want to talk to me im not going to beg but obviously its a bit upsetting when i just want her to be there for me and i wish we were close arrrgghh!!!!

Im sorry this is so long but thank you for letting me vent as i feel a bit better just by getting it all off of my chest! :\)



  • I am so sorry your sister is like that, it makes me glad I don't have a sister. Honestly I think you have to totally stop helping your sister and trying so hard to be close to her and you will soon see that she will miss your presence in her life. Sometimes you have to get tough in order to do the right thing. I have never been close to my brother and I wish we were but its not going to happen still if I tried to force things I think it would just push him to be resentful of me. Sometimes we just don't have those close bonds with our families we would like.

    I know it must be a million times harder to not be close to your family when your mum isn't about to support you and I wish we lived in the same country so I could come hug you because I understand the stress of feeling alone in things. None of my family is really that close but then when I was in hospital and had found out bub had died mum was the first one I rang from the hospital after my partner. She was there when I lost Gabriel and I knew she would be supportive. I can not imagine how sad you must feel that your sis betrayed your confidence and was so mean.

    Sending you a virtual hug and all I am afraid I can do is read your posts when you are sad but I am here to support you during the hardest times as I know how you feel I am having a tough time lately back to being bombarded with babies and pregnant women at the moment. I swear god should just make a sign with nah nah nah nah nah if he really wants to rub it in.
  • Read your post Lauz41 and just wanted to say I'm sorry you're having a shit time of it lately, x
  • thanks....

  • Hey hun, i've been meaning to reply to this post for a couple of days - how are things with you and your sister now? Thinking of you and hope you're ok...looks like your af came though so get planning to bd and get that deserved bfp next month! ;\) x
  • Thanks Fairy....

    Yip af is here and after a doubtful start is now very heavy (but my af usually was for a few days so i suppose its a good sign) and im not trying to look forward to my sticky BFP (Fingers crossed)

    Still havent spoken to my sister but to be honest i havent tried...why should i when i didnt do anything wrong? She ignores me on msn etc anyway! We're meant to be going to see Derren Brown in June she paid for tickets but i ordered them with my card so im sure she'll be in touch for them....i gave my dad them last week but he 'forgot' to lift them and said i can give them to her myself. Im not going to...if she doesnt text (which i think she will as she really wants to go) i will text her and tell her to get her one of her many amazing friends to drive her out to mine for them (we stay about 20mins away and you really need a car) and then they can go with herand if she doesnt text depending on what kind of mood i am in i will either post them, keep them (like she would do) and go with my hubby or text her and say something like 'Are you still going to see Derren Brown with me as i have your ticket..i will go with Ross if you prefer' and basically make her go with me....if she doesnt then she is just cutting of her nose to spite her face really and in turn being really pathetic and immature whilst making it clear what she thinks of me.....

    god sorry for goin on i bet your sorry you asked now.

    its just the last thing i need right now...acyually spoke to my aunt last night but that was more as she phoned my grandads when i was there. She obviously told my cousin which she didnt have a right to who then must have spoken to my sis about it...who then decided my dad had a right to know despite everyone knowing that all i have ever wanted is a family and that a baby would mean the world to me - no one cares and isnt even makin an effort to be there for me (is that selfish of me to expect that!) they dont have to understand but they could at least be there for me if i need it and it makes me angry in a way that they dont as though they dont care but more so i am very hurt....espec by my sister (whom everyone keeps telling me is behaving like that because she is so 'young')

    Grr...Sorry again lol!

  • You're not being selfish to expect your family to be there for you - familes should be there to support each other through the bad times. Your sister just sounds very immature and insensitive to what you're going through - she probably doesn't even understand the half of what you're feeling which is a shame (sorry if that's out of turn).
    Sometimes it feels like family and friends expect you to have got over the mc in a short space of time - after a while you feel you can't even mention it without the fear of someone thinking 'oh god, she's still bringing it up - the mc was ages ago - she needs to get a grip and move on'. It's so hard.
    On a happier note - i'm so pleased af is in full flow for you now - great news! (noone else apart from the ladies on this site would understand the excitement of getting a period!!!).
    If she hadn't paid for Derren Brown i would've suggested going without her if you're still not speaking - but that's the little devil in me speaking!! Lol!!
    F x
  • Its not out of turn...she is selfish and immature and she doesnt understand but she could have just said that and 'im here if you need me' or something....rather than fall out with me and go on and on about how she is going to be an 'auntie' soon to her friends baby, how excited she is, what she has bought etc....she has also deleted any trace of me from her bebo page even commnets about my cute dog for goodness sake!!!!

    As for Derren Brown if she hadnt paid i would def be going without her even just to teach her a lesson as im fed up being used but as she paid i have now decided im going to go with her and thats just tough as i said if she then decides she doesnt want to go its just pathetic and she will be the one that loses out!

    As for af (as much as i wanted it to come i also want it to go as i didnt miss it anyway lol) im so glad its here...its a sad reminder im not pregnant anymore (i should be almost 15 weeks now) and also of the mmc and the bleeding and passing my baby BUT im pleased also as as i said at least physcially i can move on a little and im glad it finally got there into a proper af!

    Thanks again,


    P.s I tried to post on your query post early (though not with any help sorry) and BE ate it grr!

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