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gem999 · Jul 8, 2011 2:35PM

So here i am again.

I had an ectopic in december which resulted in my left tube being removed. My husband and I were keen to try again so after waiting two cycles we started trying, and hey presto the first month of trying we got a BFP!

I went for a scan at 6 weeks to make sure everything was in the right place (which it was) and we saw a heartbeat. We were overjoyed - what could go wrong now we'd seen the heartbeat?

Well we went for our 12 week scan and got told that the baby had stopped growing at 8ish weeks.

I'm going in hospital on wednesday to have the surgery, i just don't understand how the baby could have died 3-4 weeks ago and i haven't miscarried yet?

The ectopic was an awful experiance, so traumatic and such a shock but this has really messed up my head. After the 6 week scan we thought that was it, we're gonna have a baby, we'd looked at prams, nursery furniture etc (not bought any) and just never thought this could happen.

I've told my husband i don't think i could face trying again, as much as we'd love a child, i really don't know if i could deal with the whole being pregnant again.

Has anyone had experiance of the surgery involved? I just wanted to know how you felt etc so i can prepare myself for it.

xxx

Socksxx · May 2, 2011 4:23PM

I am so sorry to hear this hun. My body mc;d by itself so I didn't need surgery so I can't help on that front. I know right now you feel like you cannot go through this again but as a survivor of mc and unexplained infertility what I can say to you is it is worth every second when it does happen. My little girl is the most precious thing in the world and I couldn't love her anymore. I would go through it all again to have her in my arms now. I know it seems so so awful right now and the pain you are feeling right now will be with you for a time yet but it does ease and although you will never forget your 2 angels when the time comes you will be glad you didn't give up xx big hugs and stay strong xx

Apple13 · May 3, 2011 7:19AM

Hello gem999,

I am so sorry to hear about your story - I am sorry you lost another angel. I am sending you and your DH a virtual hug.

I have no personal experience of the surgery (yet) although a friend of mine said it wasn't too bad and was over very quickly (she had no pain and very little bleeding afterwards apparently). She had gone for her 12 week scan and was told the baby was only about 6 weeks in size. She felt better for being able to move on after the surgery rather than waiting for nature.

I may be joining you next week in having the surgery - I was diagnosed yesterday with a missed mc having seen my little bean's heart beat at 6 weeks too. I had been reassured by all the stuff you hear about once you see the heart beat the risk drops but sadly it was clearly not to be. I am just praying that my little angel will mkae their own way to join their brother / sister before I have to go back to the hospital.

Let me know how you are keeping.

Apple x

gem999 · May 3, 2011 3:56PM

Thank you both for you replies.

Socks, your kind words helped, thanks. Maybe one day i'll feel able to try again - fingers crossed.

Apple, I'm so so sorry you are going through this now. I had the surgery on wenesday and it was quickly over, felt no pain really and little bleeding like your friend. We let ourselves think positive when we see the heartbeat but as you say, so sadly in wasn't ment to be.

I hope you get throught the next few days/weeks as best you can and hope you have some lovely support around you.

Please let me know how you are doing,

take care

xxx

mrslolly_wants_Baby_no2 · May 7, 2011 7:27PM

Hi Gem,

I have had 2 mcs (dec 09 and mar '10) and 1 ectopic (dec '10), I needed surgery on xmas eve and I absolutely felt devestated. To this day I still dont feel ready to ttc again. I feel this one was more traumatic as was told I was going to mc and i didn't and ending up having a 11 week baby growing inside me but in the wrong place. I kept thinking in this day and age why couldn't they just transplant the egg into the right area but that was just me being shocked i suppose.

Every now and then I have a moment where I just get overly emotional and end up having a cry - I didn't get this with the 2 mcs.

Now my dh and i have decided not to ttc until next april as i have pcos and an underactive thyroid so I want to lose my excess weight and control it naturally and see how it goes. So next year is the plan and i feel happy with that as i just really dont feel ready to go through all the heartache again.

I really hope its different for you and that you feel you can move on xx

spuvana · Jul 8, 2011 2:35PM

Huge big hugs for you xx

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