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Another baby, make pain go away?

flubbabooflubbaboo
in Miscarriage & pregnancy loss
I have just had a miscarriage and all my body wants to do is have another baby asap. I know I need time to grieve (as if I could avoid it!). The pain of this will always stay with me but does the pain make sense once you have another? Does it somehow make the miscarriage make sense? Does it take any of the pain away? I SO wanted another baby :?

Replies

  • Baby_on_BoardBaby_on_Board
    I can sympathise with you after 3 mc's in a row myself. Only time will help heal the pain and I don't think another PG or baby will make it go completely, although I have heard ladies on hear say once they see their new baby after a previous MC it makes sense of the MC more. Being PG again hasn't diminished my pain but it has helped with certain feelings of helplessness I suppose and it is perfectly normal to want to try again soon after and there are many women on here who feel just like that, I know I did. You really have to decide what is best for you. How far long were you hun? Maybe talk to the ladies in TTCAMC too. Good luck.



    BoB.x
  • LisaDLisaD
    Hi, I had a MMC before I had my little boy who is 21 months old. Getting pregnant again was the only thing that made me happier! I am sad i miscarried but I love my little boy so much that i think if i hadnt had the miscarriage I wouldnt have him. HTH xx
  • DangermouseandPenfoldDangermouseandPenfold
    BabyStay I'm so sorry for your loss - I had 2 MC's before having a successful pregnancy. My daughter is 10 months old - throughout the pregnancy I still felt sad about the MC's (that never goes away) and the 2 due dates were really tough, however a few months ago I came to the realisation that those little beans wouldn't have been Aila and she is so amazing I can't imagine life without her so I guess in a way the losses make "sense". WHen I think of the MC's its still painful but not quite as raw - if that makes sense.



    Have you thought about getting a little trinket as a keep sake for your lost LO? I bought a Willow Tree ornament called Remember after my 2nd MC I found that quite helpful. I know other people who have bought jewellery.



    PLease give yourself a break whilst the feelings are still so raw - after the 1st MC we kept right on trying and fell 2 cycles later but I don't think I was entirely ready for it. Then after the 2nd we gave ourselves a break of a cycl - it's not a hugs amount of time and it gave me time to feel a bit more me again.
  • Natalie_1024Natalie_1024 Regular
    Hiya, I'm G/Cing sorry but I had a miscarriage before my DS1 and I hadn't really come to terms with it until that pregnancy. It hit me what I had lost when I got pregnant again. A lot of women who I've spoken to and on here seem to get a bit worried in their subsequent pregnancies, but I went the other way. I think I was so scared (and in a weird way I was convinced) I would miscarry again that I felt completely detached from the baby for a large part of the pregnancy. It was like if I was expecting something to go wrong then I was "prepared" if/when it did. With DS2, I was much more relaxed during the pregnancy and enjoyed it more. It's hard to explain so I don't know whether I'm making any sense, sorry.



    Same as with the other ladies above, if I hadn't have had a miscarriage I would not have my DS1 (my ex dumped me when I was pregnant so would have dumped me sooner if I hadn't have MC'd and I would not change my DS1 for the world) and I may not have met my gorgeous and amazing fiance and have my DS2. I'm sad about the MC but things have worked out brilliantly and I like to think that is for a reason, rather than thinking about what was not meant to be.



    Only you know when you are mentally and physically ready to try for another baby and I wish you all the best with everything image xx
  • KimmyS84KimmyS84
    I had an ectopic first time round, and in my experience being PG with my daughter really helped me. I don't imagine it would be like that for everyone though...



    I fell PG the 2nd cycle after having my operation and although scared, actually felt really positive about it, a bit like instinct I suppose



    Sometimes I felt guilty, as if I had replaced my first baby, but when I thought about it more I realised that wasn't it at all. Being PG again was an incredible comfort to me. In actual fact she is still such a comfort; when she was 3 months old my nan died and I know I got through it so much easier because of her)



    I just had an MC last week, and I intend to do the same again



    Best of luck x
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