heartbroken

Replies

• Renee+2

  Aug 8, 2011 4:15PM

  Gc but didn't want to r&r. This must have been terrible for you and I hope you get some answers

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• LisaD

  Aug 8, 2011 4:20PM

  Oh no, I'm so sorry. I know how youre feeling and its rubbish. Have you had any tests for recurrent mc? I presume you are like me and one have one little bubba? xx

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• fozzie74

  Aug 9, 2011 2:46AM

  RyansMummy just wanted to say good morning and give you a big 'virtual' hug. I'm so so sorry. You WILL get your turn, I'm sure of it.
  
  
  
  I'm just pregant after 3 m/cs and convinced I'm going to have a 4th m/c - I know what you're going through but nothing anyone says makes it easier I know.
  
  
  
  Do absolutely what is right for you and take time to get yourself strong again. It will happen and one day you'll be looking back at this day like it was a lifetime ago.
  
  
  
  Take good care and call in all your friends for support. x

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• IFindHope

  Aug 9, 2011 3:55PM

  Thank you so much for your replies. I have one little boy and this was my 4th miscarriage. My 2nd this year. This was the worst experience and I keep seeing my baby over and over (i wont go into details) but I knew thats what I was looking at among everything. It really was a horrifying traumatic experience and I am terrified it is going to happen again. On the previous occasions I was at the most 6-7 weeks so this was so different. I want my baby back so badly.
  
  I must say that it is easier to get on with the day to day bit having my son around but when the day ends, he is in bed and my husband and I have had our tea.. that is the hard bit. The time where I can think and remember and it hurts.
  
  So much love to all of you and hoping that you don't have to experience a loss again and wishing you all healthy pregnancies
  
  
  
  Holly xxx

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• LisaD

  Aug 9, 2011 4:13PM

  Hi, my second mc i could clearly see what I had loss and I agree its horrible. My little boy is 2 and he keeps my mind off it but yeah im the same when im on my own or with my husband, thats when I have time to think and feel sad. Nothing I say will make you feel any better but I wish you all the luck in the world and hope, like me, you will get your wish of another child soon xxx

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• IFindHope

  Aug 9, 2011 4:24PM

  Hi Lisa, I am so sorry to hear you have been through this too. Are you trying again or pregnant again?
  
  This loss has been particularly difficult as it started on Friday, I was admitted to hospital and with things calming down I discharged myself Saturday afternoon (against there advice) Sunday night I ended up back at the hospital, I just knew what was coming.
  
  I think its worse because it was dragged out over so many days, unlike before when it has been hours.
  
  I am trawling through websites reading other peoples stories and I dont know if its helping or not but I feel like I need to do it. I dont know.
  
  
  
  xxx

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• LisaD

  Aug 9, 2011 5:03PM

  Hi, Im a bit like you, keep going on the net but actually it is helping because there are so many women in the same position as us, they have a child but have suffered mc's since. BC have some fab forums, one with ladies who have had rmc and are all now pregnant so lots of positive stories. I had a mc in April at about 7 weeks and a mmc in July, should have been 11+5 but stopped growing at 8 weeks, despite having a scan at 8 weeks with a heartbeat! It must have stopped growing after that. Although I saw my bubba in April that was over and done in a week but this one has lasted about 5 weeks and I think its more or less finished. I've had a month off work and go back Thurs, am dreading it. Im currently not ttc as I want some tests done to make sure there is nothing wrong. I had a mmc before my son so have had 3 in total. I'm waiting patiently (not!) for my period so I can book a consultation with rmc clinic. x

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• IFindHope

  Aug 10, 2011 6:15AM

  so sorry to hear that Lisa.
  
  good luck at work this week, i popped in this morning when I dropped ryan off (I am deputy at the nursery he goes to) and I was racked with nerves. I just didn't want people to look at me with those sympathy eyes or ask me how I am, I made a quick drop off and left. Think I made it clear I dont want to stand around and chat, Im not ready for that. I have my friends and family and this wonderful forum for that. I just need that side of my life to keep out of my private life. Does that sound weird?!
  
  Are you resting up today or keeping busy before your first day back? I really hope you are okay tomorrow. Did your doc sign you off for a month? I have 2 weeks at the moment and they said they could extend it if I need it. Ill see how I feel.
  
  Did you find that your body tells you when enoughs enough. I have done housework this morning, only my lounge stairs and kitchen but I started getting some twinges and just knew to stop.
  
  I hope you can relax and start ttc soon. What is this clinic? Is it something I should been asking about? xxx

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• LisaD

  Aug 10, 2011 9:39AM

  Hiya, been to the gym this morning!! Now taken my little boy for a walk and hes sleeping!! Ive put on a bit of weight with both pregnancies so want to lose it and make my self feel better. I had quite a few pains with this one but they seem to have gone now, still get the odd one but thats probably the gym!! I had a week off self certified and doc gave me another 3 weeks, partly because of the job I do as well I think, its very stressful and she did say stress related jobs can cause recurrent mc. Not looking forward to work!! You should definitely be asking for tests for recurrent miscarriages and I would get to the docs now and ask for them! You are suppose to have 3 in a row to get tested but some do it after 2 from the stories ive read. When did you have your mc's? I'm going private to a recurrent miscarriage clinic in Sheffield. My mother in law wants me to go private and has offered to pay. You can ask your docs to refer you to a recurrent mc clinic if you do it on nhs, think then its up to them if they do it. I have read lots of stories of women that have had a child then suffered mc's. If you look on my other post in here titled "hello" I have put a link in there which is interesting to read if you have five mins. x

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• IFindHope

  Aug 13, 2011 7:24AM

  Hi Lisa, good for you going to the gym!
  
  I want to start on my cross trainer again when I can, even a gentle 15 mins or so. I dont know how long to wait though, I feel like Im just piling on the pounds now. I am wondering how long the bleeding will last too? (its still quite stringy and clotty but not loads sorry tmi).
  
  Im going to the docs this week, I also want to be advised whether to be signed off for longer or to go back to work a week on Monday. Im pissed off because when I dropped my son off my boss reminded me that she has the last week off this month and that she will really need it (she has been there 4 weeks and cant have time off if im not there- i managed the place on my own for 3 months with no support so she can get stuffed!), so if i need more time im gonna take it.
  
  What job do you do? Mine can be quite strenuous at times and my doc wasnt keen on me going back too early which was reassuring, i felt looked after for once!
  
  We are thinking of going private soon, especially as I went into the hospital on the Friday and couldnt be scanned til Monday morning..
  
  hope ur ok xxx

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• IFindHope

  Aug 13, 2011 7:30AM

  and good luck for your appointment, let me know how it goes xxx

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• s-evans

  Aug 15, 2011 7:56AM

  so sorry to hear your sad news. Hope you find some comfort soon, but I know that it is never easy or quick to recover from such a horrible ordeal. we are all here for you.

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• LisaD

  Aug 15, 2011 3:44PM

  Hi again RyansMummy. I darent tell you what job i do!! I'm a Childrens Social Worker!! A nice one thank you!! Ha. Yes I agree your manager can get stuffed, ha! You think of yourself! Let me know how you get on at docs. I will let you know how appointment goes. Take care xx

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• IFindHope

  Aug 19, 2011 9:09AM

  Sounds like a rewarding job to me. You have to be an amazing person to do that role. Hope its all going well.
  
  Back at work myself Monday Not sure how I feel about that. Have requested a change in hours, I am full time but have asked if can work 4 longer days and have one day off just to be with Ryan and regain some .. well... a bit of a life really.
  
  Am devastated today. Called the hospital to get an update on the post mortem and have been informed my little angel is in Nottingham and that the process can take 6 to 8 weeks. I will have an appointment with the consultant when the results are back. Am feeling in limbo right now.
  
  Take care
  
  
  
  xxx

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• IFindHope

  Sep 8, 2011 6:21AM

  Lisa have you had your appointment yet? I have an sppointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic on 3rd october in lincoln. am starting to think about what i want to ask while im there. hope you are ok
  
  
  
  holly (ryansmummy)

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• LisaD

  Sep 9, 2011 4:02PM

  Hiya! Yep I had my first appointment. Had to go through my history and ask any questions I wanted. They did me an internal ultrasound scan and found something in my uterus, either a fibroid or polyp! Going again tomorrow to have bloods and my husband having some done. I then go back for some more bloods and a HSG x ray and then go back for consultation for plan of action. I feel like its getting sorted now. In a foul mood today, dunno whats up with me, im up and down like a yo yo!! How are you? xx

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