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My story...

Hi,



Last thursday at our 4th or 5th scan we were told I would miscarry due to 'early embrionic demise'. The staff at the EPU were amazing, so supportive, understanding and considerate. We had spent a lot of time at the EPU - nothing about this pregnancy has been straight forward.



Unaware I was pregnant but with mild abdominal pain and spotting I went to the dr's in early July. A pregnancy test was done and I almost fell off my chair when it was positive. From there it turned serious though and I was referred to A&E with a suspected ectopic. I was kept in overnight and scanned at the EPU the next day.



At that scan they could see nothing - too early. I was to come back in 2 days for blood tests. I went back for the blood tests and had another scan due to increased pain. Still nothing to see. The bloods showed my HCG was doubling as expected but progeseterone was not behaving normally. 3 days later I had another scan where they could finally see a vague ghosting of the pregnancy sac, in the right place! No ectopic for us!



We were sent away for 2 weeks to see what would happen. We knew the progesterone was not right but I started to get waves of sickness, exhaustion and I really thought things may just be ok.



We retunred after 2 weeks for the scan and this time the sac had grown but no yolk sac, structures or heartbeat were seen. The wonderful drs were not prepared to give up on it yet and told us to come back a week later but that things were not looking good. This hit me hard but determined to carry on we got through the week.



Then last Thursday we went for the last scan and they confirmed that I would miscarry.



They booked me in for a vacuum extraction which happend on Monday. I am now home recovering from the sugery and anaesthetic and trying to process everything that has happened.



I still feel quite numb. I had a wave of tears last night but as supportive as hubby is he doesn't seem to be emotional about it all - I think he is just a practical soul who is trying to keep everything together and see the pragmatic side that at least we got pregnant, all of which I love him dearly for but could use someone to cry with too.



I just feel numb, confused and stuck between desperate to try again and not wating to at all.



Sorry for the long post...



CeeLou

Replies

  • Saw your post on the homepage and didn't want to read and run. I am so sorry to hear your sad story. I can't imagine what you are going through right now and just wanted to send my sympathies.
  • Thanks so much ChickenSoup. It feels like we got to the end of one long tough road and found another one!



    I love your name by the way - just what I feel like I need! image



    Cx
  • Hiya,

    So sorry to hear of your loss.

    I know what you're going through. I miscarried on my first pregnancy and it is a very upsetting time. I felt desparate to be pregnant again. We started ttc again right away and luckily I got PG the first month so it gave me something to concentrate on. I hope this happens for you too image Just make sure you give yourself time to grieve aswell, it's very important. My husband and I cried alot during the first few days and telling our family and friends was the hardest thing ever! Once it had sunk in and after a few weeks, we went into the garden one night and lit one of those candle lanterns and let it up into the sky for our little angel. It really helped us and felt like a weight had been lifted off our shoulders.

    Thought i'd share this but everyone is different and what worked for us may not work for others.

    Our DD is now 7 months so there is light at the end of every tunnel! Stay positive and hopefully you'll get the BFP soon x x x
  • I'm sorry to hear this *hugs* x x x
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