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12wk scan this morn - no heartbeat. what do i do?

Hi all



We have 4 children, partner had snip bk in june and baby was a miracle bombshell, i had just got my head round it and we had just found a new house as would have to move. We decided abortion wasnt for us.



We had 12 week scan this morning and she said she had to do an internal scan, straight away i said why u should be able to see the baby at this stage, she then said it was because she was having trouble getting the heartbeat.



I went to toilet, came bk, got undressed and she and another lady looked again, after 10 mins she said there was no heartbeat. I had to sit in a room and was given 3 options. Wait for it to happen, medication to start it or operation.



I have had a early miscarriage at 5 wks before but didnt have to do anything, and a molar pregnancy at 8wks where i had to have the op for biopsy.



I have come home as i didnt want to decide, they kept asking which one and i just wanted to be going home with a scan pic of my moving baby,



What do i do, please help x

Replies

  • Hello I'm sorry for what you have been through honey make sure you rake good care of yourself x



    I was in a similar situation I opted for the op. I was only given the option to wait on things happening by themselves or to have the op and I felt like I was stuck in limbo! My situation us slightly different though you need to talk it over with your husband and decide what the right thing for you is. Remember to take good care of yourself x
  • That's awful sorry you find yourself here. I didn't have to chose as nature took its course and the bleeding is how I knew I was miscarrying. It's an impossible choice but just do what feels best for you. And give yourself time to get over this. It's,a heartbreaking thing to have to go through.
  • I'm so sorry, it's such a horrible way to find out especially when you think everything is ok. I've had this happen 3 times and dealt with it differently. The first 2 times I had an erpc; the first time took me 2 weeks to decide as I was in total denial and it nearly drove me insane. The last time I went down the medical route which in my experiance was by far the worst, but other women feel it was better for them.



    It really is your choice, speak to your husband about it but ultimately it's your choice. Neither way is particularly pleasant. The hospital shouldn't pressure you for an answer, only you know what you want to happen.



    Like the others have said take care of yourself and if you have any questions just ask. Hope you feel better soon but don't rush it, you've had a huge shock. We're all here for you if you need us xx
  • I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It reminds me the first time I mc - I was in such a state of shock but was expected to make such a big decision on the spur of the moment. It makes the whole thing more traumatic. For all mcs I have had, I have always opted for medical management and it has worked everytime. I didn't want surgery where there was a risk of infection. I didn't want a natural mc as I just wanted to get on with it. Take care of yourself.
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