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Missed miscarriage :(

Had two early scans because of cramping at 4 and 7 weeks, both showed a positive development and heartbeat. I now should be 11 weeks and had some light spotting Tuesday night, I rung my local epu and was sent for a scan on Wednesday morning. Unfortunately that mourning I woke up to red blood and severe cramping, the scan showed a missed miscarriage, the baby had died at 8 weeks. I'm heartbroken, I have a four year old daughter and felt ready to give her a sister/brother. I chose to have a d&c on Thursday but was able to naturally miscarry Wednesday night. I feel like it gets harder as the days go on, everyone around me are having babies or pregnant and I can't stop crying. What makes it worse is that seeing the heartbeat at the early scan made me think everything was going to be fine, so I told so many people, now I have to explain over and over what has happened. Sorry for the essay I just really need some advice on how to come to terms with a loss, I feel helpless at the moment and can feel myself taking it out on the people around me, feel like they are getting sick of me going on about it image xx

Replies

  • Im so sorry for your loss. I can empathise because with my daughter I fell in love from the second I knew she was in there. It must be so awful for you to have gone through this. Have you considered looking into counselling? Sometimes talking to someone who is not directly involved can help you to make sense of your feelings xx
  • Thank you. I'm hoping that it will get easier with time, I know I'm not the only person to go through this but I don't personally know anyone that has. Which is why I come on here to hear others stories, I have loads of support around me, so I'm very lucky. Even though this baby wasn't planned it was very wanted, just feel a it lost at the moment xx
  • ProudMummyy I am so sorry for your loss. I am also meant to be at 11 weeks, but started bleeding last Monday evening and found out on two days later (when they finally had time to scan me - can't believe they make you wait) that the heartbeat had stopped at 8 weeks. I'd had a scan at 8 weeks and there had been a heartbeat, so had also told lots of people and was so happy. I feel so full of sadness now. I have an 18 month old daughter so she does help cheer me up but I so want another little baby, and a little brother or sister for her. I still haven't actually miscarried which is making things even harder. I opted for a natural miscarriage but can't stand the waiting as nothing is happening, so am going in tomorrow morning for an ERPC and am feeling very nervous and scared. Part of me doesn't want to let go of the pregnancy and feel sick at the thought of how the little tiny baby will be taken from my body, but I think it will make me feel like I can move on.



    Hugs to you, X
  • hey!

    sorry iv only just got the chance to come on here!

    thank you so much, so sorry for your loss as well.

    i hope your ERPC went okay and you are coping well, i think the hardest thing for me is going from pregnant to not so quickly, i miscarriage naturally the day before i was booked to have the op. the only worry now for me is going back next week to make sure every things gone, feel like i cant move on until then and its very frustrating. but after days and days of crying i think im finally at peace with it all, unfortunately our little angels just wasn't ready for the world.



    my daughter is four and i know the feeling of wanting to give them someone to grow up with. i am already so desperate to try again, im not going to try for another but were also not going to play 'safe', i think my body can decide if its ready. are you thinking of trying again anytime soon?





    i wish you all the best for the future, let me know how you get on xxxx
  • Hi I'm new to this so not sure if I'm doing it right... I'm just recovering after an erpc i had Tuesday, I feel so lonely and like everyone Around me finds it so easy to get over and move on, My hubby has been amazing but I just feel he seems To cope and move on quicker...where as I'm buckled up In pain and bleeding, how can I possibly have a day of taking my mind Off things when in reminded every minute... I don't feel I can talk to anyone as my body just thinks they wouldnt understand I know this isn't the ase and this is probly a massive case of hormones In the air but I feel writing is just one way of letting myself heard.., Sb x
  • Hi sb! Sorry for the late reply! I'm so sorry your going through this, I know exactly how you feel, it's how I felt for weeks after I had my miscarriages! I just wanted to talk and talk and talk about it and for someone to listen to me, but felt everyone else was over it! It does get a lot easier, although the pain doesnt go away. It's been two months since mine happened and I still have bad days but can honestly say that I have come to terms with the loss and realise that it wasn't meant to happen this time. The bleeding and pain goes, i miscarried naturally and bled for 5 weeks altogether (due to having an infection) and I understand it's a constant reminder of what has happened. I hope you feel better soon and I wish you the best for the future xxxxxx
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