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First pregnancy miscarriage

I have very recently gone through a miscarriage, I went for an early pregnancy scan on the 4th August 2012 cos I was having spotting that started on the 2nd. That scan showed my baby at 6 weeks with no heartbeat, when I knew that I was further along than that. Doctor kept telling me don't worry, your dates might be wrong, but I knew deep down in my heart my baby is not ok. So for the past week I have been in a lot of pain and bleeding very heavily to the point twice in the week I have been admitted to hospital cos I have been passing out and my blood pressure dropped too low. I have been for my scan today and they confirmed that the sac has passed but I'm left with a small amount of tissue- which they said pass naturally over the next two to three weeks. They didn't want to do a d&c cos the tissue is too small to find. My heart feels broken, I have lost my little angel that both myself and my partner so wanted, I hope to find support, advice and friends on this site- cos at the moment all I want to do is speak to people who have been through miscarriages. Im isolating myself at the moment, I won't go out, I won't speak to anyone. To me it feels if I stay at home, it's almost as though everything will stay the same, as though I haven't lost my baby. My heart goes out to anyone who has endured this awful pain x
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Replies

  • hi i just read your post and know exactly how you feel iv had two miscarriages one at 8weeks and one at 6 weeks.  its so hard when one minuet your pregnant the next your not you just feel so empty.  i really struggled at first but even tho i still hurt now and think about the babies i lost things are better and i am now 21 weeks pregnant and things are going well i feel very lucky.  they say a misscarriage is either your bodies way of saying its not ready or there is something wrong with the baby even though it doesnt make it easier this helped me because i want my baby to be healthy and my body ready to give my baby what it needs.  let yourself greive for your baby for as long as you need but even though this will always be with you it will hurt less as time goes on and in the future you will have a happy healthy baby.  i hope this helps and i know talking to someone thats been through a misscarriage helps to deal with some of the pain so if you need to talk im here.x

  • Thank you so much for responding, and I'm sorry for your losses. It helps me to here that people who have been through this are now having good and healthy pregnancies, I wish you all the best with your little baby and hope to keep in contact x
  • Ahh lots of hugs mylittleangel x x

    I went for my 16 week check to find no heartbeat, went up to EPU for a scan which showed my babys heart had stopped beating at around 13weeks (just after our 12 week scan they think) so I had what is called a missed miscarriage. This was a month ago now and I felt so deep in my sadness that I really thought I could never feel happy again. But it does ease...

    Take time to feel the sadness you need to feel and look after yourself. Your broken heart will slowly heal but it will take time x It is such a heartbreaking thing to go through it really is. It was my first baby too. x x

  • Awww I'm so sorry to hear that, I know it's hard for everyone know matter how far gone you are but I feel even more awful for women like you that have gone that far in your pregnancy cos you kind of think once you passed that 12 week phase everything's going to be ok. Thank you for your comment, and I'm so sorry for your loss as well. I just keep thinking my heart will always be broke, I'm not saying I won't get better but I feel as though there will always be a missing person in my family tree. Are you trying to get pregnant again, if you don't mind me asking? x
  • yeah the cruel thing with ours was that we had been to the scan and seen baby wriggling around, and we announced the news to everyone meaning we then had to unannounce it image had also began to buy things as it was a missed miscarriage i thought i was 16 weeks so we did a bit of shopping etc.

    don't mind you asking at all, we both want to but i am a bit confused about when we should ttc again! there is so much conflicting advice around. some say to wait 3 months others just 1 period. my doctor said 1 period... my af returned on sunday (exactly 28 days since miscarriage) which is a good thing i guess! we have an appointment at the hospital on sept 14th as we had some tests done (placenta, and blood tests) so we might wait until we have been for that as ill be on my 2nd cycle then. will you try again? what advice have u been given re ttc again?

    Oh i completely know what you mean, i think you do eventually heal from it but there will always be that little piece missing, definitely.
    This will always be my first pregnany and my first baby. x x

  • Oh my god that last sentence you said I literally said that to my mum today and it is soooo true- first pregnancy and first baby and will always be. Yea I've had all different advice some said three months which I think they said that because for the emotional side, one said one month like wait for a period and then the doctor yesterday said no wait until a pregnancy tests says your not pregnant then start trying again. Cos Im still bleeding, the miscarriage has dragged on now for two weeks now- and they said it could be another two to three weeks to all come away. I will try again but I think I will at least wait for one period, but I will see cos I'm going through the I want a baby so bad phase, but if I did find out I was pregnant again to soon I would still be grieving sooo much for my first baby. Again I hope I'm not being too nosy- is there a reason why they are doing the tesing? xx
  • I agree, I wouldn't want to fall pregnant with the grief I feel now. I also feel like I might even feel a little guilty if I were too try straight away, like I don't care for this little one that we have lost, if that makes sense?

    Don't worry about being nosey hun- it is nice to be asked these questions. Well because my body still thought it was pregnant it was still looking after baby, sac, etc... So I had to go into hospital to be induced. The process was awful, very painful, had to go on a morphine drip. Anyway you have to have blood tests while you are there anyway so they offered extra testing if we wanted it. I know some people would choose not to but we decided that if the tests could potentially find something that could cause this to happen again it would be silly not to. So they took a swab (to test for infection), blood tests (also for infection, genetic causes) and then when I had passed the baby they took the placenta (i think she said that they test the placenta for genetic and hereditary conditions)..  It is weird for us because it happened at such an inbetweeny time, still first trimester yet just going into second, and of course with it being missed it made it seem even further along. My GP is very much of the opinion that it is one of these things/ unlikely to happen again and I should just try again (I hope to god he is right, but also don't want to risk it!)

    Oh hun it is horrible when you are still bleeding. Mine lasted about 3 weeks in total, I had a few days with absolutely nothing and then it came back, so don't be alarmed if that does happen. I then had a full week of nothing and all the signs my period were coming so could definitely define difference between MC bleeding and AF.. I hope it stops for you soon! My GP basically said the same as yours about trying again, I think they are not as bothered about the emotional side and just the medical side I guess xxx

  • Completely agree I feel so guilty as well for even thinking of trying again, it's so hard cos all I think is I want a baby but I want the baby I lost! I'm so sorry to hear you have really been through the mill of it; I would have taken the testing as well, how we are both feeling at the moment you would try anything to sto this happen again. I know that if there was a chance I could have done anything to prevent this I would have tried with all my heart and soul, so I could have met my little angel. It would be really nice to keep in contact with you if you would like? xxxx
  • Ahh I'm glad it isn't just me feeling that way x Same here I feel like I have something missing now and I sooo want a baby but at the same time I wanted the baby that we have lost and I don't want to just replace him/her when I know it is important to take time to grieve image because we are grieving a little for what could have been too and the people we will never get to meet x

    Yes definitely, I check here quite often, it is nice to speak with someone who has had the same kind of loss and has the same sort of grief, it has been really nice to talk with you hun xxxx

     

  • It was really nice to speak to you too, I feel you have made me feel more understood and a little bit better. I will mail you soon on here, let me know how your appointment went in the 14th, stay strong Hun xxx
  • I'm having such a hard day today!! I just soo much want my baby!! It's getting harder!! Xxx
  • It does get easier I promise. Nothing will make you forget what you had and what you lost, but you have to remember that this pregnancy was not viable for whatever reason. It  hurts, it really does and you will hurt when friends tell you they are pregnant. But please be comforted that your body has been able to get pregnant once...

    We had a MC in june and have been trying ever since...love to all x x

  • image i know hun, I really do. Its so hard, I have no words to make it better for you but just know that in time it becomes less painful. It is still very raw for you and your body has been through so much. You are still working through your grief, and in some ways that will never leave..

    X x x.
  • Hi mylittleangel08,



    I am so so sorry this has happened to you i really really get the pain you are in. i had a missed miscarriage 2 weeks ago finding out at the 12 week scan that the baby died at 8 weeks, i then had a d & c and although i have physically recovered i am emotionally all over the place. it was my first and so so longed for baby too. the pain is just the worst thing i think a woman can go through, and i have a couple of good friends pregnant 4 weeks in front and 4 weeks behind me and even though i know they are there for me even receiving a text from them is like taking a bullet. All i can say is that i have found such great support from these forums- mrsash3 has been lovely to me also, hi mrsash3! Please come on here and be honest about sadness, depression, rage, agony whatever you are

    going through and know im very much with you on the dark path but of this

    horror!



    In terms of ttc i was thinking of starting folic acid againagain today and taking it for a culled of months before really trying again, the docs have all said just wait one period to me. I need to keep trying but i know i will be terrified for the whole pregnancy and will need to get support when it the 12 week scan as i cannot face not seeing a baby on the screen again, ill never forget that for the rest of my life!



    Anyway my thoughts are really with you, and don't try and be strong because right now you really don't have to be xxxxxx
  • Sorry about the typos im writing from my phone....deranged emotional state has not impaired my ability to spell, i hope!!! Xxx
  • Hi mylittleangel08,



    I am so so sorry this has happened to you i really really get the pain you are in. i had a missed miscarriage 2 weeks ago finding out at the 12 week scan that the baby died at 8 weeks, i then had a d & c and although i have physically recovered i am emotionally all over the place. it was my first and so so longed for baby too. the pain is just the worst thing i think a woman can go through, and i have a couple of good friends pregnant 4 weeks in front and 4 weeks behind me and even though i know they are there for me even receiving a text from them is like taking a bullet. All i can say is that i have found such great support from these forums- mrsash3 has been lovely to me also, hi mrsash3! Please come on here and be honest about sadness, depression, rage, agony whatever you are

    going through and know im very much with you on the dark path but of this

    horror!



    In terms of ttc i was thinking of starting folic acid againagain today and taking it for a culled of months before really trying again, the docs have all said just wait one period to me. I need to keep trying but i know i will be terrified for the whole pregnancy and will need to get support when it the 12 week scan as i cannot face not seeing a baby on the screen again, ill never forget that for the rest of my life!



    Anyway my thoughts are really with you, and don't try and be strong because right now you really don't have to be xxxxxx
  • Thank you so much ladies, I felt a but stupid the other day putting randomly on here that I'm finding it very hard today- but on here I feel I can just say everything I'm feeling. I've not stopped my folio acid ( I'm on pregnacare) even know I'm not trying just yet but want to stay on it, partly cos it makes me feel slightly I'm still pregnant. None of my friends I don't think are pregnant but i'm so scared of getting the news that someone close to me is pregnant I would be happy but at the same time it is like a bullet to the heart. Xxx
  • Bloody spell check on my phone that was meant to say a bit stupid and folic acid
  • Today is a tough one for me too, can't stop crying at random times, started calling them sad attacks as they happen with no obvious trigger, its like someone hits me round the back of the head with a big sack of sand with a sad face painted on it! Looking forward to bed tonight but my dreams have been rather hideous too. There seems to be no escape from the darkness! Warm wishes to all tonight. xxxx
  • Awww fairytale that's how I felt yesterday- but today my mother in law has been round for the first time and she has actually made me feel bit better. But it's so weird how it comes on so quick, like what you said a sad attack. Hope you sleep well tonight xxxx
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