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Still finding it hard to cope after miscarriage in Feb

It took me nearly a year to get pregnant in the first place and that seemed like a fluke because I normally spot days and days before AF. Out of the blue the spotting eased up last year for one month then I was PG the following month. I found out Xmas day so told my family but lost it 10 weeks in to the pregnancy and I was told my baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks. So for 4 weeks I was carrying a dead baby, oblivious to it. We have been TTC again ever since MC and EVERY single woman I am close to in my age bracket has got pregnant since then! I've tried avoidance but now my best friend told me she is PG and I know I need to be there for her. She means everything to me.The spotting has started again since MC, and its actually got worse. I cry all the time, I went shopping with my mum yesterday and we had to go home early because I couldn't deal with it. Then went again today with both my parents. It turned out they wanted to buy me a watch for xmas to try and cheer me up. I tried telling my mum i didn't feel up to it but she wouldn't listen. The sales assistant put a watch on my wrist and I just burst into tears. It was so embarrassing and now I feel guilty my parents had to see me like that. I've been trying to avoid babies, pregnant woman etc. I got told my hormone tests were fine but then I found out I'd had a day 3 test done on day 21 of my cycle. Now I have to go through that again and I'm terrified its going to show I have POF. I'm not coping I don't know how I'm going to get through this.

Replies

  • Sorry I don't need a response just needed to get this out of my system I'm so annoyed with myself for losing it like I did today and putting my parents through that image
  • Don't be so hard on yourself, even though the mc was a while ago it's still so upsetting and heart destroying, don't try to hide it; try to tell people how you feel and let them see. Have you thought of seeing a counsellor?



    Sorry I can't offer more help x
  • Don't beat yourself up over still being upset. I had a miscarriage 12 years ago and I still think of my baby and shed a tear. Now I have had a miscarriage last week and its brought up all the old feelings again. Have you got someone you can talk to? I think that's where I went wrong the first time, i bottled everything up and didn't talk about it to anyone x
  • Hi Brandnewwifey,

    I understand totally what you're going through.  I had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago at 7wks 6 days image  It was sooooo hard as I saw the heartbeat 6 days previous.  It also came just after I had an ectopic pregnancy 3 months previous resulting in my right tube being removed.

    Im still really teary.  I cry at the strangest things.  I've returned to work albeit probably too soon.  I understand the longing to be a mother overtakes your life and all other things seem irrelevant.  A coping mechanism that i've used is one where I know the baby just wasn't right and mother nature was being kind to us by taking it away.

    But DO cry over it, it's healthy to cry.  I tell people like my husband, colleagues, friends etc that im crying because im sad, broken and angry at my loss.  Please do NOT hold your tears back.

    Like yourself Im surrounded by pregnancy and long for it to be my turn.

    Hopefully some day we will be blessed with little ones but in the meantime what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and moulds you into a better person, and maybe a better mother someday image

    I live in hope and wish you all the luck in the world x

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