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Missed Miscarriage

Hi Guys, 

This is only my second post, I just wanted to tell my story up to where I'm at and find out other people's stories. 

I was 9 weeks 3 days on Tuesday when I started spotting, it got a little worse Tuesday evening and I went to my GP on Wednesday who said my cervix was closed. I had an early scan yesterday that confirmed what I already thought, my baby stopped developing at 8 weeks and there was no heartbeat and no movement. 

Although I had already stopped 'feeling pregnant' so was already prepared for the news I'm now in a position where I still am and the limbo is making me feel awful. I was given the 3 options, natural, medical or D&C. My gut instinct was natural and I couldn't get my head around intervention as it felt like I was stopping my pregnancy. 

I have decided to give it the bank holiday weekend to see if nature takes its course, I do feel like my boobs got smaller again overnight so I don't know if thats a good sign. I am tempted by the D&C but I have a BMI of 34 and my husband is really against me being put under and he thinks its an unnecessary risk which I do understand. 

This was my first pregnancy and the feeling of failure is sitting heavy today. I would really appreciate hearing some advice from others who have been in this position. Did you go on to have normal pregnancies after this horrible experience? 

Thanks in advance for all who take the time to respond to this. 

J x


  • Hi Jesshugs, welcome to the site.

    I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through.  Do remember though that every pregnancy is truly different & what happens in one won't always happen in another.

    I have had several experiences with pregnancy along my road of life, an abortion in my teens (I was naive enough to think my first love was 'the one'), a miscarriage in my 20s & 2 full term pregnancies.

    I had D&C with my abortion (I had to pay for it to be done privately) which was nice as I was 'knocked out' for it so was oblivious to what was happening but I was left with horrendous bruising from the blood test & Anti-D injection sites (I'm Rhesus -).

    My miscarriage was natural at 7-8wks into term.  It was like the heaviest period I'd ever had lasting several weeks & the cramps were painful but eased with paracetamol & sleeping with legs curled up.

    My eldest daughter I didn't feel pregnant at all, I had a growing bump but nothing else to hint I was pregnant.  I worried constantly at the start that something was wrong, was amazed at both my scans & then worried towards the end that I'd never gotten that far & what would happen.

    My youngest daughter I bled for the 1st trimester & scared myself witless that I was losing her but every scan showed her active & healthy.  Again when I went into labour it was different from my eldest & the panic set in that there was a problem but there wasn't, she was born naturally & perfectly healthy.

    Keep your chin up, you have not failed in anyway, mother nature does things for a reason (however hard those things may be) & there is always hope.  Best wishes & know you always have friends/support here.

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