healthy child then 4 miscarriages. Feel so hopeless
I have never done this before. I am 31 and I have just found out I am having my 4th miscarriage in a row after having a perfect textbook pregnancy and healthy 3 year old. I fall pregnant very easily. Then I go for an early scan that has a heartbeat but measures a week less than they would think. Then a week or 2 later on return the heartbeat is gone and my missed miscarriage diagnosed. Feel like all I see is effortless pregnant women and I am such a failure in comparison. Feel extreme anxiety even at the thought of the scan room, can't remember what it feels like to get good news. My 1st mc was 5 months after having my child and I assumed it was too early after giving birth etc. But now I have had another 3 in the space of 9 months. The 3rd had tissue sample sent away and result showed chromosome abnormality. But so far all rests done on me and my husband have came back normal including karyotype test. Just feel what is wrong with me. My family are so supportive but just keep telling me to stay positive when I feel like breaking down. Also only advice I get at hospital is how to manage the mc, and a message of 'take care' each time I leave clutching my miscarriage leaflet. I have woke in the middle of the night feeling like this is all a nightmare. Why me again? I realise how extremely fortunate I am to have a child as some people face this journey with no children & for that my heart aches for them. My heart goes out to each and everyone who has ever suffered a loss or multiple losses. I guess I am looking for people to relate to, and some positive stories to stop me giving up as sometimes feel I can't go through this again but I desperately want another child. Thank you
Replies
Oh, manyclouds. I'm so sorry for your losses. What a terribly difficult time for you. My heart really does go out to you.
There is a wonderful bunch of women on MadeForMums, who all know exactly how you're feeling - because they've been there themselves, in one way or another.
They mostly hang out on this discussion thread, so do please follow the link and say hello.
But I'll also post a link to your thread over there and maybe some of them will come over and chat to you here.
Wishing you love and much strength...
HelenMFM thank you so much for your kind words and taking the time out to reply. I will follow the link you suggest x
Hello many clouds, Im from the thread Helen mentioned. we have a wonderful group that can all relate to you. I was very depressed after my MC in July and couldn't get pregnant for 7+ cycles. This group is amazing at giving support and so many success stories. I cannot give you advice on multiple loss, but many here can. My heart breaks for every person I hear these awful looses from. I hate that we can relate to one another in out heart ache, but I'm here to listen to you! hang you're head high love. It's out of our control. All we can do is eat healthy, try not to stress, pray, and go along for the ride. I know this is the hard part. I had a missed miscarriage and it was so hard. Please feel free to join us And read our thread. It's very therapeutic. Big hugs to you. Xxx
Hi baby dreamer. Thank you also for your kind words, and I am sorry for your loss in july. It sounds as though you are pregnant at the moment, so I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy. It is a heartbreaking time, but it is a comfort to know there are others I can relate to out there, who have been through situations like this and come out the other side. I would love to hear some success stories to help keep me positive! I will definitely join the other thread and thank you again xxx
Hi Many clouds. Hope you are doing as ok as you can be... Resting up & Staying strong physically & emotionally. I can add to the success stories which I know will help you through tough times as it did for me. I miscarried my first 2 pregnancies. 1st was a missed mc... Found out at 9 weeks that baby had died around 6. Second id had a great scan at 8 weeks then a massive bleed & lost baby at 9 1/2 weeks. I am now 18 1/2 weeks pregnant & all is going well with this one. lots of us have to go through this pain & loss but our rainbow babies are waiting x
Oh my God I have just posted a thread looking for other mums in the same situation my thread is called "worried sick" I have had a healthy baby girl and then four miscarriages since and now I am pregnant again and really desperately looking for someone who can relate and maybe help me feel like there is hope as I am just waiting for the bleeding to start as usual but so far it hasn't but I still can't be happy until I feel everything is going to be okay because it just hurts so much more if I let myself get attached too much, I am really sorry for all your losses and really hope things look up for you soon xxx
Hey ya feel ur heart ache I have a five year old girl three missedmiscarriages in the space of a year then one this year July 16th I've had all tests done before and know going to see a gynaecologist over in birmingham city hospital 22nd October feel lost ,crying on my own so I don't upset the husband or daughter and head aches galore trying to figure out why???!!!
Hi hlj85.
Really genuinely sorry to hear you are in this situation and how low you are feeling at the moment. I have shed many tears on my own also trying to protect others from how hurt I feel. It does make you question why. And I know how alone you'll be feeling at times like you are the only person going through this. I really do know what you are going through at the moment even though I don't know you personally. Sounds like we have experienced very similar situations. As hard as it is don't give up hope and look at your daughter everytime you doubt your future (as i do) as she is living proof your body CAN do it and WILL do it again! as long as you don't give up hope. My sonographer said to me in the past that in her experience as long as the person is strong enough emotionally to keep facing loss, then the most likely outcome is those couples will carry a baby to term at some point.xxx
Hi hlj85
why don't you come and join us ladies over in "trying to concieve after miscarriage part 3" we have all had miscarriages and are all supporting each other whilst trying to concieve again:) we are all very friendly and can offer support and advice should you need it:). I've got 3 very special children then we decided on a 4th. We fell pg easily then our world came crashing down when our babies heart stopp beating at 21 weeks, was awful,no words can explain. Since then I've suffered another two chemical pregnancies at 5 weeks both times. I've had tests and all come back normal. It's very stressful and the support on here is such a massive help.
so sorry you have been through this too,please come and say hi xxx
Thank u for inviting me to ur group my emotions are everywhere stress has made me loose a stone in weight just don't feel like me anymore untill I get answers my heads in a spin x
We are here when you feel ready:) hugs xxx
Thank you ladies for ur kind words my husband doesn't seem to want to talk about what's happened and unless someone has been in the same situation it's hard to explain how ur feeling and even though I have an amazing beautiful little girl it's still so frustrating getting the "it's nature's way" talk from doctors!!#$& 😕 x