Is Mark Zuckerberg right? Should we share our experiences of miscarriage more?
HelenMFM
admin
Hello
You've probably all heard/seen that Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan expecting a baby girl. And you may also have heard that this is, in fact, Priscilla's 4th pregnancy – the previous 3 all ended in miscarriage.
Mark and Priscilla have made a point of 'going public' about their experience of miscarriage now –because, Mark says, they felt so alone when they didn't share what happened to them before.
"You feel so hopeful when you learn you're going to have a child," Mark says. "You start imagining who they'll become and dreaming of hopes for their future. You start making plans, and then they're gone. It's a lonely experience.
"We hope that sharing our experience will help more people feel comfortable sharing their stories as well."
Do you agree with Mark? Have you had a miscarriage and felt alone with your pain? Would it be better if we all shared our experiences of miscarriage more publicly?
Do let us know what you think. We'd love to hear your views.
Replies
Yes I agree. I didn't tell anyone, other than my husband and my mum, about my miscarriage. And looking back I think that made it all ten times worse. I had to go to work and pretend I wasn't heartbroken. It was a long, lonely time.
I am blessed to have 5 kids all healthy and only one miscarriage.
Only a few family and friends knew of our loss but even my close friends admitted to me that they had suffered miscarriage s of their own when I gave the our news, they had never mentioned anything before which I felt was sad considering how close we all were !
They all rallied round us with unconditional support that I personally couldn't have managed without, my hubby was fantastic but also grieved and found it hard.
I hope people see a miscarriage as a loss to grieve for and not a taboo that must not be mentioned ! There is no shame in it and nothing can be done to prevent them so why is it so hard to say its happened to us??
I think if I had kept it to myself my mental wellbeing would have suffered so I'm glad the people who mattered to us knew about it.
I hope more couples can seek support of family and friends ( even virtual ones on forums like this !) Should they ever find themselves in that awful position.
I think it is good to talk about it. I spoke about being pregnant with a few people thr first time so when I found out I miscarried they all knew then too. It wasnt too bad as my family told people and my work emailed my colleagues as I was in hospital for days and then had to go back in. The support I got was lovely everyone was so kind and I think it's the best decision I made letting people know. The day before I went back to work I went into work and met with my colleagues it allowed them to ask questions of how I was etc and get that part over and done with so when I went back the next day things were normal which helped.
I had a missed miscarriage, found out at my 12 week scan and was destroyed. I felt pressured to get on with things and "get over it". I went back to work after having three weeks off work, GP put me in touch with the counseling service but it took months for anything to happen. I don't live close by to friends and family so felt very isolated and alone. That was back in May and now, a few months on I've found myself off work again as I couldn't cope with my feelings; in fact I was probably in a worse state this time than at the time of the miscarriage. there is such little support out there, I felt like I was having a mental break! Why is it such a taboo in this day and age? Why do we feel so uncomfortable talking about early pregnancy and pregnancy loss? It is real and it hurts! You come home from your ERPC with nothing; no body to bury and mourn, no cards of sympathy, no messages of condolence and certainly no child to mother. It's the single most heartbreaking experience in my 35 years on this planet and no-one wanted to help me. I had to find help myself, I virtually begged for it! Things are finally starting to happen now. I've made contact with bereavement midwives and my counselling has begun but I have lost a part of myself and I don't know if that will ever come back.