Forum home Pregnancy Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

Just suffered an ectopic & heartbroken :( any positive stories would help :(

almost three weeks ago I discovered I was pregnant, shocked, but me and my partner where extremely excited and planned to keep it. Last Wednesday 21st of oct I bled lightly, so I went to my gp for an emergency app which he seemed to brush off said it can be normal in early pregnancy. The following day I bled heavier so I spoke to my gp again and said it may be a misscarriage but there's nothing I can do except sit it out at home?!!!! So the Friday arrived, I was bleeding red by this day and went to my gp AGAIN who finally booked me in for an early scan at 6 weeks the Monday.. i felt something was not right so that evening I went to a & e where I was in agonising pain down my left side!! I was admitted to hospital for 4 nights to discover I had an ectopic pregnancy :( luckily they was able to save my tubes and I had the MX shot which has made me feel ill. I'm so so heartbroken but also so worried that it'll happen again or that I will always struggle or never be able to have a baby, I'm only 23 years old and feel like this is so unfair. I hope anyone can give me any positive stories after an ectopic about conceiving? :( I just feel so angry and sad! 


  • Hi Cafff. I'm so sorry for you loss. Your poor thing.

    I'm sure some other people will be along in a moment to chat to you but in the meantime, you might like to check out our amazing Trying to get pregnant after a miscarriage thread (don't be put off by the title; it's not all about trying again). There are some incredible women in there, who, sadly, know all about how it feels to miscarry, and who offer the most brilliant support.

    Wishing you much strength.

  • Wow, I had a similar situation happen but with a miscarriage. They treated me like crap every time I called wanting advice or to know what was going on. When we FINALLY had a visit with them (they kept putting us off), they acted like we should have known it was miscarriage & that were were being dumb sort of. We weren't married at the time, I am 25 now & married to the same guy. This was about 1.5 yr. ago. I can't believe how mean they were able to be to us. Try to keep your head up. This happened regardless of anything you could have done (the ectopic pregnancy). In ways, this was better news to find out than a miscarriage would have been, b/c a miscarriage (while most of the time is ALSO unpreventable) points to potential health problems, whereas the ectopic pregnancy means it was more a mishap.

  • I would definitely say the emotional end of things was harder than the physical. We found that burying the remains was good closure for us, & we have a pleasant space we can always go in the future to visit. :)

    Another thing that helped me was talking to my then-boyfriend about the possibility of trying again & when that would be. Once I had more details ironed out, I felt loads better.

    I didn't like most of the things people tried to tell me, the few times I reached out for help outside of my boyfriend or mom. People say the darnedest things... :/ Try not to let people's insensitivity get in the way of your healing. This was one of the hardest things you'll ever go through & if anyone is minimizing that, they don't know what they're talking about.

    Also, remember not to blame yourself- or your body! I was very angry about my miscarriage- I know, different from a ectopic pregnancy. Even though I'm in medical school & know better, I still beat myself up about it. There was honestly nothing you could do, you DO have future chances, & what good will worrying about something you can't do anything about do? Think positive! Sending good vibes your way.

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