Forum home Pregnancy Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

Lost the baby I've wanted for so long

Hi

Im new to this site.

I fell pregnant with my first baby at the beginning of the year, when I went for my 12 week scan I was told was only measuring as 8 weeks 5 days and no heartbeat...to say I was crushed is an understatement, I'd wanted this baby for sooo long!! 

Nothing happened naturally so I went in for a d&c, which I had on 25th april, as it was mentally and emotionally draining, all I did was cry knowing my baby was still there and my body wasn't letting it go. 

I did a test 2 weeks after the d&c when the bleeding had stopped and it was negative.

Im craving to get pregnant again, people keep telling me to wait but I can't explain how I'm feeling for them to understand why I want to get pregnant sooner rather than later, I know it will happen when it is meant to. 

I find everywhere I look is a newborn or a pregnant woman and know alot of people close to me that are pregnant at the moment and cant help but think why can't that be me? why did I loose our baby? Life is so cruel sometimes.

I just hope I get pregnant again and it all goes ok and the baby I've just lost wasn't my only chance. 

Anyone any advice on how I can help my chances of conceiving again following my miscarriage? Should I take pre-pregnancy vitamins?

Thanks in advance x

Replies

  • Hi Bubbles29, wecome to MadeForMums, we're so sorry to hear of your loss.
    We just wanted to point you in the drection of this long running thread about TTC after miscarriage - it has the most wonderful, supportive women on it, and if you have the time, please do check it out.

  • Hello Bubbles29, <3 

    I am sooooo sorry to hear of your loss hun (((BIG HUGS)))

    I have heard that women are more fertile/open after a D&C.. I think it's important to start ttc when you an your partner feel ready.. Some ladies have started ttc straight away once getting the all clear from the doctor. 

    I'm always here if you want to chat : ) Lots of love x x x 

  • Goin thro similar, when is the right time, also what is d and c x

  • Dilation and curettage (D&C) is a procedure to remove tissue from inside your uterus. Doctors perform dilation and curettage to diagnose and treat certain uterine conditions — such as heavy bleeding — or to clear the uterine lining after a miscarriage or abortion.

    Here is some more information.. 

    http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/dilatation-and-curettage-(dc)/pages/introduction-old.aspx

    x x 

  • ^Sorry for some reason that link isn't working.. 

    If you Google D&C lots of information sites should pop Up x x 

  • ^There may even be a thread on here or maybe someone may be able to share their experience x 

  • Thanks mummy2roo.

    Clareyfairey0701 how are you doing? I'm here if want to chat too easier to talk to someone going through similar as they et how your feeling. 

    I'm back in work today first day in after havin 4 weeks off sick so wish me luck, also my sis in law has got her dating scan today I'm happy for them but know will hit me when see the scan, can see me going home from work crying into a bottle of wine.  Xx

  • Awwww.. hun it's totally understandable the happy but sad feeling!! <3 

    I bet your Sister will be thinking of you today just as much as you are thinking of her!! <3 

    x x x 

  • Hey, I'm doin OK, im busy at work which probablu doesn't help, I no what you mean, everywhere i look people are annoucing there pregnancy or just giving birth, I've been with my fella 9 years and probably this is my 2nd miscarriag, my cousin met her man and fell pregnant straight away so that always anoys me, like aswell my family weren't very supportive so I just have to get on with it 😔 Xx

  • Yes, im made up for them all went ok at their scan but bringing back what happened at mine so very mixed emotions today. But sis in law has been fab with me to be honest and really understandable. They got a 6 month old too so they got caught really soon after having baby so she feels bad cos they already have a little one but I told her not to be daft one of them things out of anyone's control. 

    Clareyfairey0701, I put a brave face on to everyone too and just keep sayin to myself just got to get on with it, but inside im completely broken, would you consider counselling? I've been offered it from work but not sure yet if to take it or not. And Its hard isn't it, especially when you see people out and about who dont care about their kids that infuriates me!!

    Xx

  • Bubbles 29, my work of line woould not offer counselong, 😔 Maybe take it, I think I wud, we will have our time, my family are like oh I wouldn't cope xx

  • We certainly will Clareyfairey0701!! Why do they think you wouldnt cope? Xx

  • Just my family being them, I get used to it xx

  • Hey I'm so so sorry for the very late reply been manic being back In work and been in every day. I had people say it juat wasn't your time...we will prove people wrong when we it's our turn hunni....hope uve been ok, xx

  • Hi ladies, 

    How are you coping? 

    I found out my baby stopped developing and had no heartbeat last Wednesday, confirmed 'failed pregnancy' at EPU on Friday. Contractions started on Sunday and I'm still bleeding now. I'm so exhausted and drained and each day feels harder than the day before. I've had amazing support from so many friends and family but feel some are getting 'bored' of my random emotional breakdowns now. My partner has been amazing but I can see he is struggling too and it breaks my heart even more to see him tryin to be strong for me But barely holding himself together. We've been TTC for 5 years and this was our first pregnancy, it was finally 'our time' and it's just been ripped away. Devastated isn't a strong enough word.

    I have another scan on Monday just to make sure everything has gone and I'll get an opportunity to speak to the Dr then, but it's been the longest, hardest, worst week of my life and I really needed to reach out to somebody else that has been/is going through it. 

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