Devastated!

Hi I lost my baby on monday at 5 weeks and 4 days,even tho I was supposed to be 7 weeks and 4 days so I presume the baby stopped growing at 5,I just don't know what to do with myself I can't stop thinking about it I feel empty. I think what makes it harder is I had a scan on Monday morning and was told my baby is completely fine then by the evening it came away,anyway I really want to try again not right away but soon but my partner does not want to as he didn't want the first pregnancy it was unplanned but I was happy,he says we can try again in the future but how long is in the future? He keeps talking about holidays which may be a good idea but it's not gonna stop me from thinking about it and wanting it he's been really supportive about it but he just doesn't want to talk about trying again at all until probably a couple of years 😔 I don't know what to do... 

Posts

  • Hi Ali I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, I too have lost.    I understand the need to keep trying it's what's kept me ok after all of my losses, that and a supportive Husband.  

    You do need to take time to heal from your losses but  if you are truly ready to try again you need to decide together with your partner.  It has to be right for both of you, it isn't just you in this.  Sounds like you need to take time to work on your relationship and see where you both stand and if you can get to the same place - until then you shouldnt have a baby by him.  

  • I'm sorry for your loss too! And maybe we should just wait I mean we have been together for 3 and a half years so we can get through this,before all of this happened our relationship was great we hardly ever argue we still don't,I think we do just want different things but on my part it's me being selfish cause he wants to do it properly so maybe I should just listen to him, thanks for your advice and I hope all goes well for you 😊 X

  • It's hard, from my perspective in my last relationship we were together 10 years but wanted different things, when I was going to leave he would say we could do the things I wanted (getting married, having a baby) I'd stay and he'd change his mind.  Looking back the whole relationship was wrong, I don't regret it though.  With my now Husband we agreed what we wanted and when from the start, and we didn't hang around and are perfectly suited, wet just waiting for gods plans to catch up with us - we both believe things will happen when they are meant to.  

    Every relationship is different, and sometimes you do just have to be patient.  good luck with your journey ahead.  

  • I do think we are suited he does make me happy I look at him and I love him very much he gives me everything he is the most caring person but he just wants to do it properly I'm 22 on he's 25 so I suppose we have a bit more time anyway but yeah like you said every relationship is different some are worth compromising and I think maybe my relationship is,he hasn't said never he just said now isn't a good time but thank you and you 

  • Your right your young and have plenty of time. 

  • Oh, sweetie. Don't get sad over this. It was just a misfortunate thing. It's not your fault. Don't take it on yourself. Try talking to your partner about this; try dialogue. Most importantly, get on board and consulted to your doc before doing anything. Take your partner with you. Ask doc to motivate and counsel him. He needs to be sure with this. Go and catch that holiday trip and take a break for both of you. It's very necessary to let you grow out of this problem. Tell him all your reservations; I know, he will probably help you out of this situation. I hope you get out of this situation soon and may God bless you with a beautiful baby. May be next year or whenever you guys plan it to be. 

  • Thank you so much for your reply how lovely,we have sat down and spoken about it we are going to give it 2 years so we know we are both ready in the mean time we are going to plan a couple of holidays and breaks and just enjoy the time we have together until we decide to progress he has been amazing I have been pretty down about it but he's been there to pick me back up again and thank you may your life be filled with joy and happiness also 😊

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